In the course of my lifetime, almost everyone I met wants to know the same thing; who I am and what I want to be when I grow up. Firstly, humans never stop growing, physically they do but emotionally and mentally, and no one person stays the same in their lifetime. Secondly I don’t think the answer to the question “Who are you?” can ever be completely answered because as humans, we constantly find out more about ourselves. With age and experiences, we change. Sometimes for the better, other times for the worst.
However there are these categories of personalities that people expect everyone to fit into. In today’s society, I have noticed that people are expected to fit in these cookie cutter categories and if they don’t they’re considered things as ‘weird’ or an ‘outcast’. So after a while I learned to tell people what they want to hear, not the truth. It’s quite humorous to me that humans ask for the truth but when it’s not what they want to hear, they take it as a lie. Personally I cannot say that I haven’t done that before but there are certain things that I know beforehand that the answer I will receive will not be one that I want.
Back to the cookie cutter like qualities that society expects us to fit into. No two people are identical. They can share similarities but to make these categories of personalities and expect everyone to fall into one is a lie. I am never the same person all day. Now I don’t want to seem like I am better than anyone, that who I am is what everyone should be like or that everyone is the same. I just want to let people know who I am. There are a few people who have a similar mind set to me and also believe that no one can fit into a specific personality. Those are not the people I’m trying to convey this message to. This message that I am trying to convey is to those who are the opposite. This is directed to all those people who have asked me who I am and expected generic answers. It’s to those who want people to be individuals yet are hypocrites and put people in stereotyped categories or personalities.
In my mind, my life is like a highway, with life events both good and bad being exits, and my heart as a jigsaw puzzle. I am quiet around some people and others I’m not. To some I’m open and to others I don’t let my guard down. I love people but a lot of the time, I can’t stand being around them. Maybe I have a mental disorder that I don’t know of or maybe I’m just unique. Either way, I’m not accepted in society. For example I’m outgoing and say everything that’s on my mind with my friends but with a teacher, I’ll watch what I say. Is it because I don’t want to get in trouble? No. Is it that I want them to like me? Nope. I act differently to and around different people because I do not fit into a personality type. No one should yet everyone asks us to pick one we are most like and go along with it. Sure I can predict what I will do based on my personality but I never am or will be a hundred percent right.
I am the type of person who loves people. I adore talking to them, seeing how they act in situations and getting to know them. It’s extremely quite fascinating in the fact that no matter how much I think I know someone and can predict what they are going to do in a given situation, they sometimes do things that I would never think of them doing. As a result of my love for people and interaction, I tend to help many people. I have more acquaintances then friends because I like to get to know my friends on a deeper level then someone who for example is a peer of mine.
Now let me explain what I mean when I say my heart is like a jigsaw puzzle. In my life, everyone I meet or develop a relationship with, get a piece of my heart. Whether it is a homeless man on the street, a stray animal in a shelter or my own family and friends, I give everyone a part of me. That part of me helps that person, whether it is in a big way or not, it helps them grow as a person and heal. Even little things like giving advice, or even listening, benefit that person. The act of me taking a piece of my heart and giving it to them helps replace a part of what they have lost in life. Never would I imagine trying to go back and get every piece back, because It would hurt me too much, knowing that I would be taking something that I gave to someone.
I’m not the best writer, I’m not the best person, I’m not the best friend and I’m not the best at anything. I am who I am and that is someone who takes the road less traveled by, going against the grain in life is the way I’ll go for the rest of my life, giving away a part of me to everyone I meet. Hopefully I’ll meet someone who will replace all that I’ve lost. For now, I have my family.