Lets just say writing makes me feel a lot lighter when i just had a tough incident to deal with. Yes i overreact a bit too much i guess. Nori, she's been one of my best-friends since um 4 years.. She's always spoken about her wanting to go back to her hometown, Canada. When the last day of 7th grader arrived, everything went by so fast. Though, i do remember us talking to each other at the end of our final exam. It was quite heart-breaking for me, even though i had close friends of my own, even though she wasn't a part of that gang of particular friends i hung out with, there was always a different place in my Heart i held for her, she was one of my Best-friends.
I don't really remember what we spoke about in the last day, umm.. it was about this girl who we hated. But, apart from that there were some conversations about how much we'd miss each other when she'd leave.
Nori left exactly 2 weeks after that day, and in those two weeks i was so desperate to meeting at her one last time, but there was no chance. She was too busy packing up to get to Toronto. I couldn't believe that this was actually happening because it's been so many times each year that she'd say she's leaving but the departure was always delayed. I think i did cry while i wrote this very lengthy message to her on Facebook based on our crazy memories. I still have that mail somewhere in my inbox.
I knew this was coming.
I knew the minute she reached Canada she'd completely forget me but remember me only when i sent her mails. I always sent her mails, but i don't think she ever had the time to send me any. And It Hurt.
Whenever she'd be online, I want to Skype, See her Face, Hear Her Voice, Talk about her *Crush. Tell her about life, The simple things that girls always speak about. Wether they are cheesy, dramatic, funny, embarrassing or just "guys". I couldn't help myself from getting overly emotional, thats just how i'm built. And yeah, i'm working on it.
I knew she wouldn't ever understand what i felt over chat. Well, its really tough to explain it. I don't mind saying it but she's too stubborn to try to feel what i feel. The agony of wanting a decent reply and not "I'm busy". The fact that i'm so afraid to lose a friend like her. The feeling that i'm not important and she cant compromise for me anymore..
the insecurity of thinking i'm being too possessive and clingy. Hm.
But i'm not. I haven't had a decent face-to-face conversation with her in months. I wonder if she actually thinks about that. Her delays. Her behavior to our friendship.
In her inbox replies, she's quite active and happy. I was she was as enthusiastic about wanting to speak to me or see me. I don't know if i'm important anymore. I take each close friend i have, seriously. No matter how far they are from me.
I don't know why, but in my heart, i require her presence, I need it. And i still love her..
Oh well, whatever. Nevermind.
| Email this Essay
| Add to reading list