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Even though I will always miss him... He wants to move on... so i Love him enough to let him go

Submitted:Sep 29, 2013    Reads: 17    Comments: 1    Likes: 0   

September 27

The day we first started dating. I thought to myself that you were so handsome, so beautiful, and so broken inside.. I wanted to help you as much as i could... I tried my best, even though i was still so weak, to be your foundation.... to help you see a brighter side of life...I stood by your side through thick and thin...Remember... last Christmas... when the band had their yearly trip to Six Flags? ...it was wonderful, even if your family dragged me onto that damn roller coaster, Texas Giant...you told me to be brave..you held my hand.. kept me warm too...before we left, we watched the light show, both with our glasses off..i remember what you said it looked like "its so weird and blurry" ..and the way we laughed at the thought of credits moving up the screen to the music that was playing on the intercom....Then on the way back home, we sat in the back seat together and we had our first kiss, soon after i fell asleep, my head in your lap...I left my hat in your mom's van.. and on Christmas Eve.. you and your mom came over to my house to return it.. You met my family... and my dad.. which was clearly awkward for you. I remember us sitting at the kitchen table, messing with my mom's Ipad, watching a video..... We fought a lot, but we always found a solution to the cause of the fight... We looked after each other... I knew you love me.. The first time i went over to your house... when i first met your dad... he was such a nice man.. childish, but nice... and i loved your mom to death, she was an amazing women...and your brother... kinda kept to himself.. but still just as polite as the rest of them... they accepted me into the family...*laughs a little* They even made jokes about us getting married... and my little brother he called you his "brother-in-law", ..we were so happy......then summer came...we didn't get to see each other much.... i was upset that i couldn't see my dad, but to my surprize i got to visit him. So i went up to Missouri and we suddenly had a huge gap between us.....Our relationship turned into a downward spiral... We told each other to be strong, that this was just another obstacle to get through.. somehow that wasn't enough...when i came back... i surprised you at practice.. you were done marching.. i went up to the fence... and you cried, your smile was so beautiful...and your embrace was reassuring, and warm......we thought everything was going great... first week of school went by.....Friday: Lindale's first football game it was an away game... i couldn't wait to see you though... mom had to tell me to sit still several times..at half time i swear i was the first one up and over by the fence gate that the band members were spilling out of...i saw you, and hugged you from behind...you looked upset, when i asked you said you would tell me later on Steam......But... it was worse news then i had thought... Saturday when i woke up, i got on steam, and told you good morning... and asked you what you had to tell me at last night's game... the words you replied ill never forget: "a girl confessed her feelings for me"... i knew i could get over that until you said "and i realized i have feelings for her too"...I'll never forget how much i cried that night

August 31
We broke up... both broken....both confused... School got so hard to focus on, crying in every class i was in practically...at lunch i still sat at our table, to get a spot for our group... Hailey started to help us both, asking what was wrong, telling each other what the other's feelings were....i looked in that pocket on your lunch box... still had my photo, and all the drawings and poetry i gave you...Which made me smile..but sad that you still left me.....
Meanwhile inside me, i was crying so much, the world might of flooded so much that the Earth couldn't hold anymore tears... You were everything to me... and then it was gone... you said you and her were only friends...... but my jealousy got the best of me...
I kept imaging you two holding hands... kissing... walking down the hall together.......you swore you wouldn't do that to me... that you loved me more...

..The next weeks that followed were so damn confusing... we talked; then we didn't... we forgot the other existed; then one would try to get the other's attention.....

September 24
Hailey talked to you.. and she told me what you said... "i just want her to move on, to find someone better".....i tried so hard not to cry the remainder of the day, until i got home after 6th period... and now.. now that tomorrow is the day that the love of my life would've been with me for a year... ..is the day i'll dread the most ... for the rest of my days.....

I hope that you will read this someday, Zachary... baby, I still love you... I can't move on, especially since your all i think about.....I will always love you... I wasn't enough to satisfy your needs and wants... but that won't ever change the way I feel about you....

Love Forever & Always
Corrina L


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