When you feel so alone, and you want to cry and doing anything else I don't know what to do because I really appreciate you and I can’t stand watching you so broken, you can’t even recognize yourself in a mirror! I've never felt like this before, I just want you to get better, I want to see you smiling, doing the things you like to do, I want to see the girl you've always been ,the girl who has become a woman, the girl who has a million dreams to become true, this one who can't stay at home!& I know you better than your mother does! Oh my dear, Have you been talking with your pillow seriously, lately?I am sure you must do it! Everyone must do it!
Do you recognize the superwoman that is there saddly hidden? Do you know how many people like you and love you?
I wish you were me to see and understand all the things I want you to see, It’s not fair that you act like if you were blind, it hurts me so much….
By the way, do you know that every wound becomes a scar and it will calm so much? I mean, the scar would be always there but not the deep, irritating, fucking wound!! Please I want you to listen this words, I am here for you, I am here to pleased you, to understand you but the main problem is that you are becoming a new yourself: not yourself as you have ever been. Do you follow me? I hope so. I want to say that if you do not nothing to your daily situation, the situation will absorb you and destroy the person once I have met, & I am totally against this fact to happen!! : (
This way will be the only way to satisfy my soul, to satisfy my happyness. If you still didn’t realize: You are my happiness. And I’ll do the impossible to help you : )
Moreover, when I spoke to you lately, your everyday is black, is not clear, it’s not understandable! Because only you are allowing that every mistake is growing & getting worse every part of your life! Watch out please!
I am searching for the miracle, the recipes to recover & turn you back. Indeed, I am sure that I could help you so much to get better, because I've learned that every little support and love from a person to another is the only ingredient to settle down to start again! I will make you start smiling again : ) This sounds amazing, doesn't it? I promise I won't let you to get more sick Because here I am my lovely friend, in order to look after you, to admire you, to embrace you, to love you ! But please don't misunderstand me, It’s about a friend that cares for you, the one that will come at midnight without calling her because I heard you were feeling so much pain, the one who will protect you, the one who will make you laugh when you see everything black, The one to make you feel secure when you are so weak and sad, The one to listen to your beautiful songs, the one who knew everything of your life without saying a word at all, the one who can count on her because she’s The most secret keeper in the world! The one who can tell you the truth even if it hurts, this one never never will tell a lie!
When you feel so alone, I will be there for you, because first of all you are a part of me and I want nothing but the best for you :)
Do me a favour, never , I repeat never, Forget me, in all of the greatest & not so easy things in life I still will be by your side, and no one could separate us. I just feel alive when we are together exchanging histories & having fun! Whatever is happening the proper days, I will pray for you and you will be ok. Yes, I am saying many words, but honest words! I promise myself you'll be ok, and I never do anything in vain. I wrote this because you made me do this. Did you know I love you so ?
Susana Brox 22/08/11