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Holy Acrimony II

Novel By: Katy Graham
True confessions

Domestic violence is the abuse of an individual in the same family or household, or with whom the partners have a child in common, and may include abuse of children, siblings, and elderly. Domestic violence also includes the abuse of an individual in a dating or sexually intimate relationship. I am a survivor of domestic violence. Having been abused by former husbands and partners, I have been terrorized in my home physically and emotionally. I have been abused by my Church leaders. I have been judged by these and have not been treated with dignity or respect. I sought Pastoral counseling on many occasions over the years with inappropriate and ineffective relief, emotionally, spiritually and financially. I was driven out of fellowship with my church due to abuse and sexual harassment by male church leaders and members. Stalking is a willful course of conduct involving repeated or continuing harassment of another individual that would cause a reasonable person and that actually causes the victim to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed or molested. Date or spousal rape is criminal sexual conduct. This is usually not reported or prosecuted. Sexual limits need to be communicated and respected. Victims need services including support from a community of professionals due to health and long term mental illness. Economic dependency, lack of support from family and friends, no available options regarding shelters, fear and guilt of responsibility for keeping a family together are some reasons it may be difficult to leave an abuser. Mounting tensions, false sense of hope that things may change, tensions ever-present with no calm period, isolation, blame, e.g., substance abuse, manipulation by abusers including his efforts to control her, feeling a need to prove abuse when others refuse to believe the individual is abusive and describe him as charming. Children caught in the middle may be injured, confused, have poor performance in school, aggressive behavior in relationships with peers and family members and poor self-images, and may feel responsible and may be abusive to other family members. These dynamics are why the cycle of abuse continues. View table of contents...


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Submitted:Jun 19, 2013    Reads: 2    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   

The following day I was released from jail. Needless to say I had an attitude towards both Mrs. Pink and my neighbor. The next day when I saw Mrs. Pink I was picking up my mail from my mailbox. Again I had my keys in my hand. Then I went to talk with some of my other neighbors in the building computer lab that was provided as an amenity for the veterans. Not too long afterwards, the police came and pulled me out of the computer room and informed me that I was again being arrested for threatening Mrs. Pink with my house keys again. This was war! When I was released from jail I began a campaign of letters to Mrs. Pink's manager Ms. Aqua and Ms. Aqua's boss, and Ms. Aqua's bosses' boss an so on until I had sufficiently informed enough people of the discriminatory abuse I was being subjected to over an incident I didn't even initiate. The campaign was effective. Mrs. Pink was terminated shortly thereafter and failed to show up to a court appointment to pursue the charges she had alleged against me so the case was thrown out. Oliver and I continued to date. However, even Oliver began to change. Around the holiday season Oliver was invited to be a part of his older brothers' wedding party whom lived out of state and was getting married. Oliver invited me, but then seemed to regret it because he began to behave erratically. We drove out of state with another one of Oliver's brothers to the wedding. Oliver was asked to be an usher and he was unhappy with his minor role in the wedding party. However, I learned that some years prior Oliver was asked to be the best man at a relatives wedding and he end up in rehab and didn't even make it to the wedding. So I understood his brothers' concern about putting Oliver in a more noble position. Oliver was ushering with a family friend. The married woman was friendly and flirtatious and Oliver misread her banter but I knew she wasn't interested in Oliver so I wasn't jealous. However, Oliver seemed to try to provoke me by later dancing with her at the reception and I got bored with his antics and left the reception and went to our hotel room. Later when Oliver showed up drunk as a skunk he passed out on the other double bed in the room. The next day when we left to go home Oliver refused to talk with me but I didn't care though. Oliver was relapsing but I didn't realize that Oliver was using illicit drugs now. His relapse had him spiraling out of control and we broke up shortly after returning from the wedding because he was out of control and losing his mind.


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