The sunlight attacked my face, as if I was the only person on this planet it could reach. I could tell it was morning even though my eyes in the spirit of my laziness remained closed; I was still on cloud nine somewhere in my fantasies. Though I had known it was morning from the moment my dark shade over my closed eyes got a bit brighter. Stupidly enough I was trying to get back to sleep, so I could continue the dream I was having before, even though it wasn’t possible. Dreams were always better than reality. I knew the minute my eyes would open everything this world had in store for me would rush into my head, and I would struggle to find the peace. It was chaotic, and dreaming was the only way to escape for me, it had been for the past few years. I knew the alarm clock would go off soon, because I felt him carefully taking his arm off my waist trying to get up without bothering me. I assumed he thought I was still asleep, like a precious child. This was hardly the case most of the time. I felt his presences no longer there when an empty cold space now took up where he was. I had been tightly wrapped in his arms all night; he had almost become a necessary blanket that I trusted to protect me at night, or at the very least keep me warm. I heard the loud chime of the alarm clock start to ring, the roar of the sounds coming from it echoed in the house.
“Shut it off shut it off shut it off,” I urged still somewhat half asleep. I felt his hand reach over my head and carefully turn it off. I knew he would now attempt to assassinate my sleep. I felt a soft tingle from the side of my hip, and then the sounds of laughter started to escape me, they were soft and familiar. He was tickling me.
“Get up,” he said trying not to laugh at my shrieks, and I rolled around. I finally caught his hands, trying to calm down and get my breathing under control.
“Cheap move,” I commented. He didn’t look a bit out of out place for some reason. I was always out of place; I just never bothered to show it. I yawned still looking a bit tired, as my eyes met his.
“So what? At least it got you up,” Mars said as I hugged the blankets closer. He looked at me, he knew better than to let his guard down, even in occasional tickle fights. Defeated, he knew this argument was sealed I would not be able to get up, but the look on his face made me feel guilty even if it was just over four more minutes or so of sleep. “Okay… fine I’ll get up but only if you’ll make me a black coffee.”
He agreed quicker than I had thought jolting down the stairs as if the house was on fire. I waited until he was gone to reach for my phone. 6 missed calls from Dad? I thought silently to myself. Putting it back, my head was buzzing again. I wished I never touched my phone right now. What could have possibly happened now? I silently made my way to the washroom shutting the door and turning on the shower. The tiles underneath my feet felt cold. I felt my body relax leaning back against the shower wall as warm water started to hit me. The chaos seemed to erupt back into my head. The unwanted thoughts slid back into my head, all because I was alone and not occupied. I wanted run out back to Mars, but I knew it was better to let it out and keep it inside. These were my thoughts only I could never share them
with anyone, not even the one I loved the most. In reality I always felt so trapped within myself, but if let anyone know I may as well give up my right to the Divine throne, or anything really. I always felt the need to be detached and yet amused. I had so many grudges against my friends, and so on, but I knew better than to ruin my image. The only one I had trusted enough, and always may was my husband Mars Lin Flare, the king of a pervious enemy Realm. It was funny really, I was supposedly an angel, but I didn’t even know if heaven existed. All I knew was my heart beat was there and I had no clue about what religion was. I belonged to the Royal family of us “Angels” there were so many kinds; I couldn’t be sure what was true. I looked silently at the ring around my finger; it was more than a wedding ring to me, and it was that one thing that made Mars mine’s forever I suppose. I held my hand close as the water poured down onto my feet and back. I was now facing the shower wall just standing there and thinking. As much I loved him though, there was that one thing I could never forget. As much as I tried it haunted me every day but I had no choice. He, and Emy took my daughter away from me I thought silently to myself, but my oldest sister and Mars didn’t have a choice either. I felt tears slowly sting up in my eyes I felt like they would burn me. As much as I tried to convince myself I still had my other two kids, two four year old twins Aiden, and Lynn. I couldn’t bring myself to ignore the void it was always there and conscious, reminding me of everything I’ll always miss out with Jade. I finally gave up on my crying fest, I had forgotten about my dad’s calls until I saw a note on my washroom mirror, I removed it crumbling it up and throwing it in the trash can. I quickly got dressed. I didn’t know why dad made me take so much responsibility in theory I was only nineteen. Yet again I always was going to remain 19 angels normally stopped physically aging at nineteen in reality I was twenty-two. I pulled my hair into a quick braid racing down the stairs.
“Hey Kezia,” Mars said handing me the coffee as if on cue, I smiled at him. I didn’t have the courage to talk right now I took the coffee from his hands and stood by the window. Normally my smile was enough to fool him into thinking I was okay; if he asked me what I was thinking about it would be trouble, because I couldn’t lie. I could try to avoid it but I wouldn’t be able to. Before he had a chance to ask anything the doorbell rang and I sighed in relief, but I wondered how long I could keep it all locked in. I wondered if he knew what I really thought about what he would have to say about that. I looked at a few of our friends entering the room. Most of them I wasn’t too fond of. I waved Mortia over to me, just to avoid any conversation with Mars. If I got in a serious argument with him ever, I was afraid everything would slip right out of my hands. Mortia started going on about something, I wasn’t really paying attention. It wasn’t that I didn’t care but my head was filled with so much. From the past, and the present. I took one last glance out the window before joining the charade they called life.
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