October 4, 2011
Some people might consider me strong...others weak. Today...I dont know how I consider myself. I could say strong, because I know that I will always get through things and things will get better. But I feel weak. Not because it still bothers me after what? 5 years? 6? But because after all this time, I havent figured out how to deal with it. Gah. I'm done thinking about this right now. >.<</span>
(This was all about my mom, talking about her handicap issues.)
Oh mom...:/ I wish I could describe you. I just cant. Know that I'll always love the REAL you. But this drugged, emotional...broken mother...I can't love that. But she's not YOU! I miss the real you.
I wonder what would happen if you took away all the drugs, the cigarretes, all the meds...would *you* be back? Or are you lost forever?
Sigh....that moment when you realize how alone you really are.
Last person taking my test...embarrasing >.<</span>