January 30, 2012
I will never forget the way his hand felt in mine. Or the way it felt when I was wrapped upo inhis arms. Or the feel of his soft lips against mine. I wont forget the first time he told me he loved me, or the first time he met y friends. Our first Christmas together, or our 6 month anniversary. And our ten month anniversary at the boathouse and then we walked late at night on the beach. And onour one year, we never left each others arms. I will always love him, nobody will ever compare to the way he makes me feel. And that is why, now more than ever, I need to be his friend. He is my life, my world. he always has been. I will always be there for him. Someday, when he is in a serious relationship with someone else, I will listen to him talk about how much he loves her. I will be there for him when they marry. When they have their first child. I will be there for him through all the things I was suppose to be there with him. And I will put on a brave face. I'll let him think I'm okay, let him think I'm over him. When really I'll dream about the day he wants me back.
I sound like a very creepy ex-girlfriend who wont leave the boy alone, but we were always more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. We were best friends. And I intend to keep it that way for as long as I possibly can.
I love you Jake.
I always have.
I always will.