Today was shit. But what can I say, aren't
most days? If I had to put it into a percentage, well - I'd say
99% of my days are a living hell. It's either my family (if I'd
even call them family), school or just - simply life. I had to go
to school today, couldn't just fake another sickie. I had a
biology excursion, it was crap. Walking through museums and
Botanical gardens. Happy little life. I couldn't stand it,
pretending to be happy, when really all I felt like doing was
pulling out my blade and cutting deep, deep into the flesh of my
arm. Until it bleed, uncontrollably. While everyone else is
playing happy lives around me, their laughter still echoes in my
ears. Like a bell. A none, stop, bell. That I cannot
Do you ever have that feeling? When the people around you
feel like their crowding in on you, like their trapping you in.
Coming closer, and closer, and closer. You just wanna scream, but
there all moving so fast. You can't escape. Can't move. Nothing.
You feel numb. Can't feel a thing. And then their voices come so
- loud. In your ears. Echo's. Laughter. They become louder. And
you can't help it, you scream. At the top of your lungs. You need
We had to do a case study of 'mega-fauna mammals' and
study their fossils. Fossils of a past life. I wish my life would
just pass. So suddenly. It was pretty boring, I didn't do much, I
just sat there and thought. Thought about where my life would
lead to next, I knew it could get any worse, but I don't see it
getting any better. I don't have anything that could make it
better. I have no hope. I just know that I have to keep living.
Isn't that weird? I'm so hopeless, and useless. A waste of space.
When I could be underground. Covered in earths dirt. But I keep
on going. As if I know it'll all get better all of a sudden. I
don't know how or why, but I'm gonna keep on going. I have
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