You're all I ever think about,
so it pains me to say.
Sometimes I'm infatuated,
sometimes I'm in dismay.
I talk about you endlessly,
yet the truth? I omit.
If I ever told anyone,
they'd be ashamed.. concerned.. have a fit.
So every time I talk about you,
I just tell them the "good".
"He's kind. He's sweet. He's everything."
If only they understood.
Granted, you are a lot of things.
Compassionate and smart.
A side of you is bright as day,
the other side? Much more dark.
I cry inside, and smile to hide
my feelings to see you in this place.
A party here. Some weird drug there.
No remorse. No regrets. No mistakes.
You shrug and say you're fine.
You have this under complete control.
Love is already a bumpy ride.
Why add more spikes in the road?
Every time I bring it up,
you dismiss it and say things will be okay.
You insist that you're just being young.
And that responsibility will come one day.
Unfortunately, you fail to see
I won't be around to witness
the day you realize that you're ready to grow up.
And ready to get to business.
Because as much as I do, sincerely, love you
I love myself as well.
And nobody can be all that I need
as much as my own self.
If I settle for less than I demand,
I'll end up with less than I deserve.
I know relationships have ups and downs,
but I've been through too much hurt.
Not sure if this will be a wake up call,
or if you'll simply ignore this.
But whatever you feel, I hope it is real.
And no resentment will ever exist.
The girl who ultimately wins your heart,
will be a lucky girl indeed.
I'm sorry to say, or break it this way,
that if things don't change and remain the same, that girl will not be me.