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Just my way of relieveing some stress and pain...

Submitted:Apr 19, 2013    Reads: 25    Comments: 0    Likes: 1   

We've all made mistakes in life but this one I can't take back...I am feeling the same pain as you. I tell myself over and over that I'll be fine...I have been through worse and cried a lot more. Still I can't help but wonder what if this had never happened. Would I still be in your arms? Most likely. But what if we had never ever happened would I be in someone elses arms. I Hate you so much! You made me feel like the most wonderful girl in the world! why?! Now all I feel is regret. I'm writing so the world can read what I have to say. Maybe someone can tell me how to get through this pain. I fought with myself all day. I couldn't let anyone see me cry. I want to run away! I want to escape reality! But how can I do such thing when I can't get you out of my head. I can only express myself through writing. I can't believe I have you reading this. I just want you to know how much I truly care. I remember that weekend when we first told eachother how we felt. I remember we spent the whole time texting back and forth. I honestly thought I was the luckiest girl. I remember our first kiss together. I kept telling you I love you over and over because you were so nervous I wanted you to know that I care. All that mattered to me was that you and I were happy. But of course I screwed that up. I remember the day you told me you went to a party with your family and they told you to go hit on the girls but you didn't because you had me. I knew right there and then that I had to keep you. When I think of the times we had together I can't help but to smile. They were great but of course I happened. I miss the feel of your arms around me. I miss the feel of your lips. I miss your sarcastic self. I miss poking you and biting you. I miss every moment we had together. I wasn't the best girlfriend in the world. I pushed you away, I never showed you how much I truly cared, and now I'm feeling the pain. I told you things that I could never tell anyone because I trust you. I still admire you from a distant. I love how you are so helpful, you cheer up all your friends but if they only knew that you walk around with a fake smile. Its killing me to see you like that. Its all my fault. I want to see the old happy cheerful you. Tell me how screwed up I was release your anger somehow. Don't hold it in. Tell me everything you hate about me. Just tell me. Stop hiding things from me! I cant bare to see you like this anymore! I know you have a lot on your mind. JUST TALK TO ME!!! GO OFF ON ME IF YOU HAVE TO!!! STOP TRYING TO ACT LIKE YOU CAN HANDLE EVERYTHING!!!. You said so yourself plenty of times "your human" you can only take so much. I hope you know how much I truly care for you. So much that I can't even leave you alone for one night. I LOVE YOU...


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