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Happened the day of my track banquet Thursday may 31 just clearing n putting my thoughts together:/

Submitted:Jun 2, 2012    Reads: 17    Comments: 7    Likes: 3   

I guess it was long since I had let myself cry that I found myself crying again. Twice in the same day it was humiliating I wiped at my eyes with the bac of my sleeve. But, the more I tried to stop,the more tears I could feel coming out. I knew my mom was fed up with my 13 year old Sister doing what most girls do In life love attention of boys but this time she was serious she had to leave our home June 8 was she serious? She would have to stay with my nana in Ocala hours away I would never see her again mom works late nights come in the morning n sleep all day.at times I was to run away be free from the memories that lie in this house every room tells a story only I would know a secret I cannot tell it's eating me up inside Have you ever tried to find the words to say? But got stuck and afraid to say something? Or how you really feel about it? Or got really angry because your not use to expressing your self? Thoughts ran in and out of my head as every single tear fell from my face i screamed silently and i gripped my pillow trying to breath again n again I was going to miss her laughs,her bothering me,he cries, her everything I'm afraid now more am I ready to let go of my sister? I prayed for her more than I prayed for myself I want to be saved from all the trials and complications that's going on in my life all the frustrations and stress n forever more depression to spend this last week with her as much as I could? To me it seems like everyone walks around like nothing ever happened but no not me never Im the one that seems to have to stay strong when everyone breaks down n cry n heal from the pains but when will I learn to forgive and forget? When will I ever heal fully and truly to actually start living my life for me? I feel like a slave cooking,cleaning,washing clothes. At times I don't eat at night I don't want my mom starving or my sisters going hungry at night in there sleeps I have god watching over me I am proud but tierd so tierd but I know my break will come soon but I ask my self tonight n every night beyond this one iz she really serious that she gonna let her daughter go my loving sister that makes mistakes because she iz human go? Is she really ready to say goodbye forever?


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