The Scars I Hide.
The past was horrible, all the blood.
The pain that brought me to silent screams.
The tears that fell, mixing with drops of scarlet.
The long-sleeve shirts, the long pants,
The scarves, gloves and high socks,
Wornto hide the evidence.
The wounds that are tattooed on my skin,
Foerever embedded along my body,
Suddenly look so vulnerable again.
The razor, shaking in my hand,
Hovers over the previous cuts
That were made in places unseen .
Hiding it all was hard.
Closing myself from anyone, everyone.
" They'll all judge. They all will. "
Trust was an issue. Friends were void.
It was better alone, than with company.
It was better if no one knew.
The fake smiles,
the lies my mouth made,
The lone act that everthing was fine.
Now here I am again,
Alone on the bathroom floor,
With tears running down my face.
After theseyears of self-rehabilitation,
Fixing myself, opening up to others,
Its all now worthless.
The emotions that kill me inside though
Are like poison down my throat.
Let it out, let it out.
I close my eyes,
Memories, past and present,
Stabbing my heart like spears.
I take a deep breath with eyes shut tight.
And lower the small blade
Down onto my skin.
For the first time since that time years ago,
I see the red liquid pouring out of my flesh again
Because of my own free will.
The bright colour stares back at me,
Before the pain rushes to my nerves
And letting the tears burst out again.
For a moment, a short moment,
All the emotions disappear
And all I feel is the pain that takes away pain.
Now the floor is splattered in red,
And my mind is closed off and empty.
The poison's gone, gone for now...