Pain is winter:
An icy breeze that comes and goes.
The season is at its worst;
A blizzard storm runs through me.
At my lowest temperature,
The cold of a pain I had long suppressed
Rises up from the bottom of my boots,
Up my spine,
Finally chilling my heart.
Pain seems irrefragable,
And so I live with unnerving questions.
Do we live at the poles,
Where winter is ceaseless?
Does pain ever really go away?
And thus, do we futilely act
As heaters to our arctic pain;
Are we stuck fearing
The spell of an internal winter?
I can’t live this way;
Life seems all too hopeless
Whenever pain reaches out,
It hits the forefronts of our epithelial cells
And causes unsettling Goosebumps-
Reminders of our darkest points.
And, it brings with it a sheer cold, freeze
that causes a loss of control.
When, for so long,
I think I’ve overcome the pain,
In reality, I’ve done nothing to get over it.
I freeze every time it arrives,
Unable to continue living life.
I no longer want to know the trick,
The best maneuver to merely warm the pain.
Trying aimlessly to pile on sweaters and jackets
To shield me of the cold-
To fend off from the sheer draftiness-
Isn’t enough for me.
I want eternal warmth
And a belief that
Today’s’ winter will one day be gone.