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Why do I do what I do?

Poetry By: SkinDeep
True confessions

About when people ask others to stop self harming even though they will not be there to support the person instead.

Submitted:Jan 30, 2013    Reads: 37    Comments: 5    Likes: 2   

Why do I do what I do?

To feel alive

To feel awake

To feel the pain

To feel my skin break.

To release the anger

To release the stress

To release the fears

To release secrets that I repress.

To continue living life

To continue my lies

To continue my fake smile

To continue muffling my cries.

Why do I do what I do?

Because without it,

I don't feel

I don't have a release

I don't want to continue

I'd never be at peace.


So tell me once more to stop what I do

Tell me to be numb

Tell me to keep it in

Tell me to end it all

Tell me it's not just skin.

Teach me how to feel another way

Teach me how to release the pain I'm in

Teach me how to continue living

Teach me how to laugh and grin.

Save me when I fall into the pit within me

Save me when I my secrets are suffocating

Save me when I find no reason to live

Save me when I only see a future of misery waiting.

Why do I do what I do?

Because without it,

You wouldn't tell me I shouldn't be afraid

You wouldn't teach me how to love life

You wouldn't save me when I begin to drown

You wouldn't be anything compared to my knife.


You should be relieved

That I don't ask for your help

That I am doing okay

That I found a way to move on

That I live every day.

I will never stop

Unless I find a new raft to hold on to

Unless I find a new way to control the pain

Unless I find that it doesn't help anymore

Unless I find you helping carry my chains.

I'm no longer sorry that I do what I do.

I'm no longer afraid when I realize I'm surrounded by liars.

I'm no longer alone as my knife provides comfort.

I'm no longer victim to betrayal's fire.


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