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My Death Is Not An Option

By: swords edge

Page 1, a peek at the inner me

Tears stain my eyes, from the pain you can't see.
I’m alone in my room, hiding from the hate. . .
what did I do wrong?
Was I a bad person? Because mom treats me like it. . .
is it because I’m not smart? Because I’m a retard?
She treats me like it. . .
all I did was ask them to pick up the toys. . .
to stop kicking. . .
not to say bad words. . .
for all that she thinks I belong in hell. . .
I can see the disgust on her face when she looks at me. . .
the hate and pain of me being her daughter. . .
ya, I wish I wasn't her ether. . .
I wish she loved me
I wish she would like me at lest
but all I get is her yelling at me, saying I hate every one
that I only care about myself. . .
maybe she's right. . .
maybe I am selfish, and a self center bitch
so once again I’m alone in my room
crying out the pain I always hid so well. . .
I never like crying, it just make my friends worry. . .
who would want that?
So until someone sees past the wall
i'll cry alone, in the dark, in plain pain
I’m not the happy girl you think I am
I’m not the carefree, never known pain, sweetheart you've grown to love. . .
because deep inside, I’m dead
and this time there will be no prince charming, I'll have to save myself once again.
Because maybe she's right. . . maybe I do belong in hell. . .
but I can't go yet, I still have life's to save
I still have people out there counting on me, I can't let them down
death is not an option. . .

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