These last few weeks
have been very stressful: studying for finals, memorizing lines
for the play i'm in, my parents are getting a divorce. And on top
of that, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. (sighs)
Some life, huh? I've tried to find ways to relieve the stress.
I've talked to friends, the school counselor, my theater friends.
I even tried...suicide. I was thinking over dose on pills. I have
to see a therapist for it and I'm going to be going to a
psychiatrist to see if I need to be put on medication. The point
is, I need help and I don't know where else to turn to. No one
seems to be able you help me. I want someone to at least seem
like they care about me. I know my parents say they'll always
love and care about me, but it doesn't feel like it anymore.
Everything seems to have spiraled down hill.
I missed how things
use to be. I never liked change. I have always hated moving. I
hated going to new classes, I hated it when my friends moved. So
all of the changes I've had to go through lately has really
gotten to me. I want everything to go back to normal, even though
I know they never will. So many thing are running around in my
head right now. I don't understand it. I don't understand how
someone could be so confused. I've asked myself "Why? Why is this
happening to me?" I never got an answer...
I've never been one to
tell anyone else these feelings I've been having. I guess I just
don't know what else to turn to. My friends weren't much help.
They got sick of hearing me talk about it. Well, I'm sorry I have
problems I want to talk about with my so called "friends". I
don't have any siblings to talk to. I am glad that I do have one
friend, he's like a brother to me, that I can talk to. He helped
me through so much and makes me feel better when I talk to him. I
know I can talk to him about anything. I met him a couple years
ago. I remember I was 11 but I don't remember how old he was. We
met during a summer play we had both been cast in. I've met a lot
of people in shows and they all mean a lot to me but he was
different. He's one of my closest friends. I'll never forget him.
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