We've been friends of a little over a year now. We talk on
Facebook almost every single day. We've had good conversations,
we've had bad conversations. I've told you everything about me.
I've told you who I want to become, what I want, what I've done,
I've loved you like a sister ever since you first asked me if I
was ok. Whether you feel the same way about I'll never know.
You've helped me in ways you'll never know. You brought some life
to my day when it was already going horribly.
We would talk for hours, sometimes just about random stuff. Other
times they were about me or you, and what was really going on. I
thought you understood, but you don't. When I saw you, my mind
nearly exploded. You changed, not in just face and figure but
your whole spirit as a whole.
Was I invisible to you? It's like you didn't even notice me, and
we had just talked the night before. I may be judging you but it
felt like you just left me. You walked right past me, and then I
turned around immediately my heart was crushed like a candy heart
being run over by a car
The rest of the time I was in a state of insanity. My mind raced
as mix feelings flooded in. "She called me brother, but then
acted like I wasn't even there! Maybe it's true, maybe they were
right. Maybe she's only friends with me because of them. Oh how
could i be so stupid! I let her call me brother; I let her say I
love you. She's a liar!"
That's what I was think for those few hours, but then I get home
and it's back to Facebook with you again, and everything seems
fine. You're the sister I thought you were. But in person, who am
I, what am I to you? You say I'm like your brother… really? I'm
sorry Lucy, this whole letter to you sounds like I'm doubting
you. I didn't mean to doubt you, but the fact that I feel
invisible to you triggers it. I'm sorry I just don't know who my
friends really are. Even though you mean the world to me, the
fact that you passed me by almost changed my mind.
I'm sorry Lucy, I don't want to lose you. You're the best sister
I've ever had, and you're the only sister I really want…