We’ve been friends of a little over a year now. We talk on Facebook almost every single day. We’ve had good conversations, we’ve had bad conversations. I’ve told you everything about me. I’ve told you who I want to become, what I want, what I’ve done, everything.
I’ve loved you like a sister ever since you first asked me if I was ok. Whether you feel the same way about I’ll never know. You’ve helped me in ways you’ll never know. You brought some life to my day when it was already going horribly.
We would talk for hours, sometimes just about random stuff. Other times they were about me or you, and what was really going on. I thought you understood, but you don’t. When I saw you, my mind nearly exploded. You changed, not in just face and figure but your whole spirit as a whole.
Was I invisible to you? It’s like you didn’t even notice me, and we had just talked the night before. I may be judging you but it felt like you just left me. You walked right past me, and then I turned around immediately my heart was crushed like a candy heart being run over by a car
The rest of the time I was in a state of insanity. My mind raced as mix feelings flooded in. “She called me brother, but then acted like I wasn’t even there! Maybe it’s true, maybe they were right. Maybe she’s only friends with me because of them. Oh how could i be so stupid! I let her call me brother; I let her say I love you. She’s a liar!”
That’s what I was think for those few hours, but then I get home and it’s back to Facebook with you again, and everything seems fine. You’re the sister I thought you were. But in person, who am I, what am I to you? You say I’m like your brother… really? I’m sorry Lucy, this whole letter to you sounds like I’m doubting you. I didn’t mean to doubt you, but the fact that I feel invisible to you triggers it. I’m sorry I just don’t know who my friends really are. Even though you mean the world to me, the fact that you passed me by almost changed my mind.
I’m sorry Lucy, I don’t want to lose you. You’re the best sister I’ve ever had, and you’re the only sister I really want…