i know no one is gonna message you but... i want to be
kept anonymous please... but i been through alot, and i
just want to get this out of my mind. and im so glad
you made that status... i can speak my mind to someone
who cares. You probably dont know me.. you probably
dont like me. But here's my life story..
I am a freshmen, and i just wish i can be noticed.
for who i am... my personality, my mind, my talents... not
who my family is; or who my siblings are. everyday i wake
up wishing i can be someone else.. im jealous of every girl
in the school... im jealous of everyone... I use to get
bullied my whole Middle school years... i use to get picked
on.. i was always afraid to tell people how i feel... no
one knows what i deal with at home... i look in the
mirror.. and i cry of what i see. i sometimes even wish the
person in the mirror was dead.. Not alive. but back to
being bullied... i use to get bullied by my family...
called Ugly.. and stupid.. and my dad even called me a
mistake... my brothers make fun of me.. to their friends..
and when their friends see me in school.. They Point and
Laugh at me.... when people find out who my brothers are..
they laugh at me.. pointing... saying my brothers are so
popular and good looking ... and... im Me.... Me being me
is who i want to be.. i dont want to be like my brothers...
i want to be myself.... but when someone tells me to go
kill myself... tells me im not important.. telling me im
ugly... just waste of space in this world... people tell me
No one will care about me if i die....its hard.. when i
want to be someone.. but people are pushing me away telling
me they dont care about me.... i got pushed up against a
locker once.. and punched in the shoulder... it bruised me
badly...., i got people looking at me. and making side
comments i heard one "" shes ugly.. Hahaha"" and just stuff
like that is hurtful.... guys are embarrassed to talk to
me... cuz they know people will make fun of them for
talking to me.... i walk the halls by myself.... i hate the
way i look... im afraid of talking to people.... im afraid
of making friends.. because when i talk to someone, or a
guy i like... i just.. get that feeling. that they are
thinking what everyone thinks of me... ( Ugly, disgusting )
Whole reason why im so shy of who i am. is because i grew
up with my family hurting me... my brothers and i are
victims of Abusive parents when we were little... my oldest
bro was even abused last year.. but because he hit his
girlfriend. but my father nearly killed him.. my father use
to abusive my brother so much. hes going the military next
year... HOPING to make my family proud of him.. i dont want
him to leave.. i have separation issues.. and its just not
somethings i can deal with....
I am a girl who has been hurt so
much... but was never cared enough from her parents to be
taken to the hospital... im a girl who is scared to be
noticed... im a girl who is scared of her looks.. im a girl
who is suicidal..... i am a girl who cuts... i am a girl who
is always depressed.. i am a girl who wants to run away.. i
am a girl who witnessed her father almost kill her mother
when she was only 5 years old... i am a girl who is in pain
everyday from long term injuries from not getting help... i
am a girl who is struggling through school.. i am a girl who
wants people to stop judging me by my looks... i am a girl
who wishes she loved who was in the mirror... i am a girl..
who only has one person helping her My boyfriend... i am a
girl who tried to kill herself... i am a girl who tried to
i have separation issues... and i have this girl who was
like my sister... and her baby ( my nephew ) she met someone
else.. and now her n my bro never speak.. my "sister" left my
family... never to be spoken from again from her nor our 4 year
old nephew.. grandson.. son.. my Sis.. i loved her... she was
only reason why i wanted to live on this planet... shes the
only reason why i use to be happy... i had so many memories
with her... i love her... but she left... and its like she
doesnt even remember me.... before she left... she would let me
tell her everything.. she listened.. she let me cry with
her.... she was family... she was everything.. i Cry.. im
crying just thinking about her... she helped me so much with
life.. she made me happy.... she made so many promises to live
with me.... me move with her.. see her every weekend... its
been forever since i seen her.. its been forever since i been
happy... when im with her.. i forget all the bullying... i
forget all the nasty words i get called.. i forget the thought
people wish i was dead... when im with her im Happy For Real.
but now shes Gone... and im never happy... thoughts of her run
through my mind, all the words people say to me.. Echos through
my mind.... im believing everyone.. ""im Ugly, fat. loser..
aloner. annoying, stupid.. im not loved.. no one loves me. no
one wants me around. why am i on this planet? im not wanted...
I get made fun of for cryin in school for missing
someone... losing her. just by her never talking to me feels like
shes dead.. i never once hear her voice.. see her... her laugh.
her talks with me.. i get made fun of. for missing someone who
made me happy..
I'm afraid of going to school. i hate the nasty looks i get in
school... i hate being called a whore.. a skank.. Ratchet.. i
hate being called a slut.... how can i be a whore or slut.? when
the whole school thinks im ugly... ? how can someone like me.
when they are embarrassed to be seen with me.. my BROTHERS are
embarrassed to be seen with me in school.... at home.. my family
hate me. my mother and father yell at me... i have so many
problems.. when i get upset or mad.. i have anxiety attacks.. i
punch the wall.. last week. my whole hand was bruised. from
punching the wall... i tried to run away few days ago... i even
left each of my family members a good by letter.. but i burned
my life isnt important.. my stories arent important... my
feelings arent important.... but being bullied + family members
hating me + separation issues + mind problems = me wishing to be
I thought i would just share with you... i know its pretty off
topic but im tired of pretending to be happy.. im tired of
pretending the words dont hurt.. im tired of pretending its all
just jokes and games.. im tired of people not listening and not
understanding... words hurt more.....
i try to help people who are suicidal because i understand... i
stand up for the kids who get bullied.. this kid in my one class
people make fun of him.... because of his looks... im tired of
people thinking its Looks is what matters.. i yell at them to
leave him alone.. i tell them to just shut up.. and my one
friend... hes emo.. because people thinks hes ugly.. he tried to
kill himself... i talked him out of it...5 times.. more then
that.. hes a cutter.... he lives out of the state. i cant help
him alot... but message the people on fb who bully him to tell
them to leave him alone... but it doesnt help.. i Want people
like me to be NOTICED and not hidden in the shadows... being
bullied.... i want people to stop bullying.. i want people to
| Email this Short story
| Add to reading list