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A funny read based on true events surrounding the topic of phobias and the hilarious stories that can emerge from one's fears. A Guarantee Must Read!


Submitted:Feb 17, 2013    Reads: 71    Comments: 10    Likes: 9   


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"A Bugs Life"

- INVASION -

It was hot summer night and i just so happened to stay home instead of enjoying the musical festivities that usually take place in the slum parts of the city. I had just finished a game of "C.O.D" but not without thought of what fate might have in store for me. Like any other day I was famished from letting the creative juices in my mind act in its usual nature to foresee the content that I have been working on. And without even turning on the lights to my room here I am opening the door to exit only to notice a creepy oval shaped thing just drop like dead weight from the other side of my door. I was instantly grossed out by how big it was after noticing its still shadow of a body had ended up besides my computer table. After realizing what it was chills went through my body before this thing caused me to fall back from my own door way like a scared little girl. It clearly wasn't my proudest moment even though it was only one of several encounters in my life but as usual the water bug never failed to get to me.

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I was surprised that anything like that could get in my place after checking and seeing all of my windows were closed. So it was clear that somehow this thing may have crawled up through the bathtub or from under my front doorway somehow. Once I was done with this evaluation with me being the only man in the household it was up to me to dispose of this creepy crawler. Now I had a dilemma on my hands with no solution in sight but to whack the thing dead. But for some reason unlike all my other encounters I just couldn't work myself up to manning up in order to take this thing on. And it was then were I began to question myself and wonder how would I do and if I could ever rise to the occasion. Would I make my ancestors proud and show them I was as good bug squasher as they ever were? Sadly the being a city slicker thing didn't help much and even though lately I had actually been trying to mentally train myself to withstand such a gruesome horror. All it took was this confrontation to show me my true colors.

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A failed effort I had come to realize was now forcing me to face my fears within that very moment. I felt about as tall as mini me even though I wouldn't know if we actually shared the same fear. So here I was, knowing how late it was and what I wasn't willing to do so long as the water bug was in my home. So one of us had to go and clearly I wasn't going to let it be me. But after realizing how much this thing had me hesitating to enter my own room I began to believe otherwise. Of course it didn't help to hear how much my grandmother was laughing at me in the background but even I knew something had to give. So if I was willing to go in regularly then it was time to suit up. It only took rubber gloves, my grandmother's scarf to cover my face with and a broom to get me to make a move. Sadly despite my efforts to change my approach in this matter it didn't help much with my fears like I thought it would have. So I end up slowly pacing myself and taking each step as gently as i possibly can. You can say it was almost like if I was hunting deer and was worried about whether it could actually hear me or not.

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At this moment I began to pray that it hadn't made its way in any part of the room that I couldn't reach. And luckily I found it hanging out below the side of my bed in plain site as if was daring me to try my hand at attempting to kill it. So I figured I use the element of surprise to gain the upper hand by catching it off guard. But in my mind I was about to confront one of natures worst creations not to mention being tortured by the possibility of a negative outcome, a distraction that could easily throw off my sneak attack. And it was only after realizing how soft that sounded in my head when I decided to make my move and cock back that broom with all I had. I thought I had him where I wanted him only to learn a lot about myself instead after missing my only chance to kill it on the spot. It was clear that nature hasn't been kind to me over the past couple of years considering my age factor had ever thing to do with why I managed to miss, twice. Because as fast as I believed I was swinging that broom clearly it wasn't enough to get the job done. You'd figure I would at least have the excuse of closing my eyes out of fear but sadly they were open the entire time.

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My sanity almost began to get the better of me at this point because I swore it had a good laugh at my elderly like baseball swing as it ran under my bed. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse I realized the endless possibilities of it managing to hide in the junk that I just so happened to have under there. My eyes began to twitch as the sweat grew more intense from my constant worrying knowing I really had a problem on my hands now. I mean who would feel comfortable trying to dig for something that could just jump out at you at any second. I was overwhelmed as my skin began to crawl like any sudden tingle from my body caused me to believe that it was the water bug trying to eat me alive. And it didn't help that I had long hair either and as I found myself failing on countless occasions to try and draw the creepy crawler out finally it re emerged from the darkness on its own. It managed to crawl up the wall from the foot of my bed and I couldn't help but notice how big it actually was. Possibly the biggest I have ever come across before and potentially pregnant.

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A reality that I knew wouldn't end well with my home or anyone around me for all that mattered. I knew I had to finish this and if I was going to take a stand then it was now or never. So I used what ever will power I had left to place myself across the room from where it was as I bravely held my broom as if it were a warriors staff. And while planning my point of attack it remained there still as can be. Why it wasn't intimidated by me left me stumped and the moment it chose to show that by flying off the wall in my direction it easily sent me running for the exit. You can only imagine my reaction from being grossed out and when I felt it was safe enough I was curious to know whether or not my skirt had grown out of my body yet. I tried with all my will to summon the male genes I believed I had coursing through my veins. But it only took seeing how it comfortably placed itself on my bed as if my room were now his for the taking to bring me back to reality. I mean all I had to do next was serve it food on a plate with cold drinks so long as it wasn't willing to attack me.

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And here I was trying to remind myself how I submit to no one until I finally summed up the courage to take another crack at it with my broom. It only took a warriors cry and another worthless swing to come up empty handed again or empty broomed in my case. Only this time it vanished from plain site leaving me nearly choking on my own spit. My eyes widen as if things couldn't get any worse as my paranoia began to get the better of me again. So here I was looking around wondering from which angle it was going to come at me this time while carefully searching the room. Minutes pass before I grow into a panic only to end up torturing myself with the idea if this would be one battle I wasn't meant to win. It's not unheard of and if so what did this mean for the future of my home? I even began to question fate after all of this and demanded to know whether I really deserved this much punishment for what ever I had done wrong. I mean I knew that so long as that thing was in my home I would never get any sleep. So here I was forced to wait it out as if I were on the water bugs time now.

I began to contemplate and wonder if I needed back up as each passing second dwindled away what was left of my backbone. It made me wonder if this was the bugs plan the whole time and at the rate I was going I was convinced that its tactics were effectively wearing me down. And just when all hope was lost I hear a knock at the door just as I was wondering which neighbor I could actually bother for help. When I open the door and see my aunt had arrived for a visit it was as if all my prayers had been answered. But even though she was there it didn't seem to improve the odds if we just so happened to share the same fear of this bug. I could only ask and hope for the best and with a look of determination she quickly rallied up as if she didn't like the idea of anything punking me out the way it did. After giving me the answer I needed to hear she then marches her way into my room without hesitation. Only the crawler was still as illusive as can be and forced her to move things around in order to catch it . When nothing was found we ended up trading small talk about where it could have ended up as I remained on guard at the doorway safe and away from danger.

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Of course she had her wise cracks of my fear of this thing of all things. And when we found ourselves at a dead end she decided it was best to wait it out until it decided to show itself again. So after making her way to the kitchen I began to fill her in with the details of what came about in her absence. My poor excuse for countering such a threat amused her which of course became exaggerated by my knack to create extreme story telling. Even though there was no denying its abilities and nature to show me up in the hour before her arrival. All she could do was make the assumption that maybe it had made its way into the living room and that thought alone was frightening enough to make me buckle at the knees. Because if that were true then there would be no way I could find it with all the heavy furniture it would have had to hide inside. I was already near powerless as the broom in my hand did not show the same appeal it had to me like it did before. What was I to do if it came at me again when I clearly kept letting my nerves get the best of me?

All I could do was trust in my peripheral vision to scope out the area which was obtained from me playing sports and it was enough for me to be sure that it never left the room. And as time passed while I was working off the edge of the fear this bug had over me, I decided to stand in between two walls that led to the kitchen in one direction and to my room in the other. Although for some reason my instinct kicked in and I decided to look down to the left towards the bottom edge of my room door. What I saw on that very wall at least 5 feet away from my face was the water bug staring up at me in a moment that made me freeze almost instantly. The fear made me wonder if this thing had a vendetta out for me and one can only wonder considering how i felt it staring through the very core of my soul. It was almost as if it had its own close up camera during this stare down like if we were mortal enemies from a movie. So I did the only thing I could think of in that final face off and like a man, I yelled for my dear ole auntie to save me. She quickly ran to my aid after wondering where it went despite my distinctive will to tell her exactly where it was. But like a true strategist it manages to utilizes it's quickness just before she could reach it and make its way back into the room. Only this time my aunt wasn't going to let it get away.

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So she enters the room as I remain at a safe enough distance to over hear the thumping from her battle with the die hard crawler that even gave her a hard time despite her fearless nature. She yells for me to stay away until finally a moment of silence emerged from her dramatic stand off and out she came with her head held high from victory. All that was left in a dust pan of the creepy crawler was its remains that I wasn't even brave enough to watch get flushed away just for confirmation that it was actually dead. I guess its cause it actually bugged me that much. I stood away instead and took comfort in trusting that my aunt could do what I couldn't. And as the air cleared with the sound of a single flush, the creature that ate away what was left of my man hood was finally no more. And though it was safe to say that I may have won the battle there was no denying that the disgusting little but larger then life bug in my eyes had won the war.

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And the endless jokes made by my grandmother and aunt ever since that day proves it

- FIN -

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