Mum, I know it hurts. I know your cancer is getting worse. You try to put on a brave face for everyone around you. But we all know your pain, your suffering. I know i don't help, getting sent home from school for fighting. I know it stresses you out. I try not to but I think there is something wrong with me, something in my head that needs me to get angry to live, i can't stop it. Just like you can't stop the pain that you suffer every single day. I know you won't get better, but one can dream right? Just keep going back to the hospital, maybe they can help? Your hair becomes brittle and crumbles, but you still look beautiful to me. You're my mum, my friend. You have always been there for me and my brother, even when our dad made us homeless you got us someplace to stay. Mum, i know we don't show it, but we Love you more than anything in this world. Please, please, please don't leave us, we are nothing without you and your kindness and Loving. You scream in pain almost everyday, how can we help? I'm going to Florida in a few days with dad and his family, but i don't want to go. I don't want to leave you behind, who will look after you? Who will pick up the pieces when you get upset and try to kill yourself to stop this pain you go through. I'm not leaving you when you try to do it. You yell at me to leave but no way am I leaving you to kill yourself, no way. But does that mean I am the bad person who puts you through this pain? I know you don't want to be here, suffering the pain you do. I hear you scream in pain as i write this. Mother, i don't want you to go through this pain, but i don't want you to die either, just please try and get better for all of us that will miss you very dearly. Just look at all the positives that are coming in the next months, hey, were going to download soon, my first time at a music festival,and your taking me! To one of the best festivals in the UK. I'm really looking forward to that, hell, I'm just looking forward to spending time with you. I don't know how much time we have left together so lets just make this count
P.S Cancer, I hate you.