October 12, 2013
Well, if it isn't my old journal. It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, can't say things have been going great since our last meeting. You know, while I regale you, allow me to take a trip back with you, if you don't mind. Let's start from where we left off.
So, I used to go to a very small school called 'The Home School' - I know, that was really the name. Anyway, I had a lot of problems while I was there. I was a really terrible student - I didn't do homework, I'd always try to lie about it, and I got into fights (well, as bad as fights can be when you're 8). As I remember it, it was then my mom tested me and found I was Autistic. The next school year saw me gone off to my mom's special ed school, 'The Academy'.
I will say that going to her school did help me get back on track with my schoolwork, but there were new problems. First, and most obviously when you walk into the building during school, is the noise. Sometimes it's loud, sometimes it's quiet; makes me wonder if the guy next to me just has ADHD or if he's bipolar as well. When I started going there, I was always seen as an outsider; light-skinned boy, can't speak Patois, and so on. This continued for 6 years, but has milded down now.
But then there's the second thing: staying at a school like mine for 7 years is the most socially detremental experience I've ever had. I've seen 5 full different schools come and go (with people often leaving somewhere between 2 years and 2 months), and forming friendships or relationships of any sort is next to impossible, knowing the person will never see you again in a matter of a year or two.
I'm also a swimmer, and swimming's also being a pin in my side. As you may have guessed, I wasn't very good in swimming either. I'd scream about the water being cold (in the summer in Jamaica...), say the coaches were unfair and weren't doing work, etc, etc, etc.
When I turned 12, I had a breakthrough. I became the fastest breaststroker in my club in a matter of 2 months, and was in time to land 4 5ths and a 4th at Christmas Champs that year, 2011. Tornadoes, my club at the time, has a 'tier' system (I'm not gonna call them 'castes', though that's what they seemed like) where you're moved up by the coaches depending on your performance level. I wasn't moved up.
January. February. March. April now and I was still at the head of my same group, some 10 seconds ahead in most events. After an injustice done to a friend of ours at an international meet by the national coach (who was a Tornadoes coach), we (and her family too) decided to move to another club. What we found was Flying Fish Ambassadors Swim Club, which I've been with for a year and a half now. In terms of progressing my career, this was a good change, but it once again meant being separated from friendships I'd developed previously.
So, what's changed that makes me want to write to you know? Well, I'm 15 now, so I suppose I'm thinking about an issue in the back of my mind, but I won't get into detail about that until I've figured myself out about it. Been nice to write in here again after such a while.
I'll write again soon,