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ladies set yourself aside and know where you stand


Submitted:Jun 20, 2014    Reads: 33    Comments: 2    Likes: 0   


SIDE CHICK

heart is standing in the middle of a lonely abandoned street

as cobwebb protects it from getting picked up

scars, broken, unpolished filthy heart

covered from every good things

abandoned road droughty wind blown through everyday

side chick thats what i refuse to see

i see their eyes enlighten every time they see me aproach

dont want that feeling anymore

making me hate myself even more

suicidal thoughts

depression kicking in al over again

i thought its ended

side chick

all it takes is someone to make me feel really special

to love myself

the thing s that no one knows i have never loved myself before

nearly was happy at one point

then my happiness got snatched away from me

why? why cant i be happy

just for once

i deserve abit of love

im tired- side chick

every one i try to get close to

i am a side chick

happened lots of times before

when will it change

when will someone wants me for me

when will i learn to love myself

disappointed at myself

i know i am strong

but they bring me down- my thoughts

dont want to think about when things was going smoothly

dragging back bittersweet memories

i know i have hurt

i know i am confused

i know i have been hurt

i know i have nightmares

i know i was mentally unstable

i know i have depression

i know i only have myself

i know i don't really like myself

i know no one will ever like me the way i want them to

but i will fight it

thats why i am stronger than i think


Dont want to be a side chick

dont wanna fall coz i do not trust

they hurt

scared of myself

if things starts going good i spoil it

no wonder i am a side chick

don't like relationship

dont want to get hurt

so i freak out and find excuses to escape it

but no one i had believed in me enough to join me

to fight the demons that keeps recurring in my head

need someone to believe in me

to believe in

to make me love myself

to love

to love me

don't want repetition

its a bad habit

move forward

dont need someone

want them to show me how to love myself

then maybe i can learn to love

maybe- just maybe i can learn to stop being a side chick

i am just a body

with a mind

i give them my body

but they don't want my mind

nobody really wants me

thats all i want

they never ask deep questions

side chick- all they care about is my skin

what my skin can give them

how my skin can satisfy their frustrated desire

i blame me

i allow it to happen

my text to them always pass

why can't i fail my mission

be wrong for once

i feel even more dirty every time

i hate myself even more every time

cry in my sleep

no one knows, no one sees it but my fake smile

smile is starting to fade

wishing i could run away

somewhere no one is

no one knows me

settle in my ecstasy

its me, its my fault

i want to get hurt

thats the inner me speaking

someone prove me wrong pls

the real me wants that butterfly feeling back

i want to make love not war

i know im in ur fantasy but

let me be in ur reality as well

i can be best of both worlds

its me, its my fault

SIDE CHICK





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