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Him and him only ch.2

Short story By: Trina
True confessions


Four words that's all it took for my life to come to a end ..


Submitted:Aug 22, 2010    Reads: 27    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Four words thats all it took to make my life come to a end. "He has a girlfriend"Like four bullets percing my heart. Spat at me with hate not caring what it does to me. It was acid melting me with every breath I took. I was a walking corspe ,the life sucked out of me. were they lying to me? doing the worst possiable damage that could be done. Why did you make me think other wise?Love is but a way of life why won't you let me feel it? I want to take a chance and if that means I have to get a broken heart along the way let it be because you can't possiable hurt me more than what you have, What have I done to deserve all this? can I contorl the way I feel, the fact that I might love you makes me sick because I don't want to take this pain that I don't deserve. Yoy don't care for me and I try everyday to make it seem that your face and my feelings for you are lost forever in a distant sea. I may one day find them again but you will be just another face with everyday I don't talk to you or I don't look at you I find myself finding more hurting details about you. Ones that hurt more than words should hurtbut then there are things you think have no effect on me when they do. It makes me want you more. It's the way you walk when you see me acting like you have somewhere to go when you could care less ,It's the look in your eyes ,the way you try to get my attencion and you think I don't notice. What you think you can go on and not think about me but you can't I'm in you head .... in your heart you won't be able to forget me. I have been apart of you like you have been apart of me, you can't hide no longer let it out...

I knew you didn't like me I just didn't want to accect the fact you will never belong to me the way I belong to you. You broke my heart from the start why did I go ahead, when I knew how you felt about me or was I right to keep going...I want what I couldn't have ,is that what me want you more the fact htat I couldn't have you? Why think I had a chance. Is what I 'm thinking right?or is it my feelings and your actions making me you don't care when you do. I don't have time to think about you. You did your job you walked into my life stole my heart and walked out, Like it was candy and I was the store. Can I call the police? tell them you ?stole my heart and post a wanted sign? I hope your happy with what you've done because now your consider a theif in my eyes. You are confused yes? but you know what you did ,did you intend to beark my heart? I wish you could feel the hurt,angry, love that you casue me..If you knew that would you feel the same way?or will it be out of sorrow for what you have done to me?will you be relived that I understand how you feel and whatever your feeling do you not want to feel it? do you think that you can make it go away? to put it in the back of your mind. I wish I knew how you feel about me so I can write about it put it in words and tell the world the hell you put me through. I went through all of this to tell you... Having nothing worth risting is like living without a heart it can't be done . But I have found a way to go on...
Pain serges through my body. When those words past ears, Ice has covered me... "he doesn't like you" I try very hard to make these words seem like they have no effect on me. But I can't hide no more you can see the hurt in my eyes as I try to put a smile on. Of course I knew there was a chance you didn't like me and it was pretty big but to hear it from someone else it makes it very hard to deal with. There could be a chance that I even ment something to you. My only mistake was never talking to you. Crying over you was something I never did and I'm glad because now I know your not worth my tears. But now I'm fighting to hold back those worthless tears. Heat crawls over me when I see you smile because all I want is to see you happpy but it still hurts me to see that you have mo problem doing so because I have no effect on you..But the coldnees of your words chill me. I ddon't deserve all this but yet I let it happen because my feeling for you over welm me. You don't care and you probably never did. You don't have a clue I'm weak but that only means that I need stronger walls. My head hurts,my eyes burn all because I'm thinking of you. But can I say that I will never be yours? that you don't effect me anymore?that you won't, come across my mind at night? Will I be able to say that if you want to be mine will I say No, because of all the pain you put me through or Yes, because I Love You. <3
His face...His eyes...His mouth...He faces this soul crushing world. Looks at this world with ease I face this world to see you at the end of the day to see you smile... Live your life with happiness. I look at this world and try not to see that I live life without you but with every breath I take in is like cold knives percing my lungs with every breath that leaves my body posion. What will it take to make my world complete...safe...happy? Everyday I go on with life but it only reminds me of what I couldn't have.My feeling for you are not something I can forget ove night I don't think no one can it still lingers inside me. Loving you is soemthing that hurts me you smile,you laugh,you go on with your life but thaqt is something that I have been trying so hard to do. When you walks pasted me your not even paying attension or is that what you want me to think? You have somewhere to go and I'm just aother person in your way... Smile as he walks by laugh even though you have a block of ice in your stomache and heat that melts it away. Show him you can pretend to make life seem happy,cheerful and a place where love ccan once again come to. Put on a fake hollywood smile go through that big crowd ...and show everyone how good you are at pretending that you don't love him anymore.Forget the way you stiffen,forget that warm feeling in the pit of your stomache,forget that weird chill after. But his eyes are the keys to your heart when he looks at you can't help but open up. He can't contorl what he does to me but each day I don't see him, he makes me wonder is he thinking about me?does he wonder about me or think about me the way I think about him. If he only knew half of it...





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