I don’t know what this is, what this feeling is, but it’s killing everyone around me.
Its drawing me back and making me realise that maybe I'm not made for this crowd, that maybe being loud and joking around isn’t all that well.
That maybe, just maybe, I'm more than this.
The only people that are listening to me when I say this are him and God and now you guys, I'm opening up myself, a flower in the early morning and when the sun starts rising I shall close myself before night falls.
Here’s the thoughts that are flying around my head, a constant voice that nags at my head whenever I sit down and have time to myself, the words that escape my lips when I put my hands together and tell God my problems, or the sentences he knows he can see that have caused my tears when he holds me in his arms.
“Why am I losing everyone?”
My best friend suddenly isn’t my best friend. She’s not happy for me.
I finally find someone who makes me, who always wants to be beside me and make me happy with stupid little comments and she says that I’ve changed.
I'm still the same, though I do not have time for her. Everyone else still talks to me, laughs with me and plays with me as if it is the past and she suddenly decides that it’s time to point fingers and make me feel bad about myself.
It’s nearly night and its taking me all my strength to make sure I'm not going to close, my petals are pleading with me, they want protection from the moonlight, it made them a pale milky white and they didn’t like it.
“Nothing is the same, nothing is!”
I cry to cold staring moon and look at the dark clouds highlighted by the strong moonlight.
“Why is everything changing and who is to blame?”
Finally, my petals close and night rains down a few seconds, minutes, hours later… I'm too deep in thought to count.