Ever had a day where someone says the wrong thing at the wrong fuckin time? Well thats me!
I have alot of things going on from OCD and depression to anxiety and a mood disorder. I have a hard time dealing with things, for example a few months ago this B*&^# who was suppose to be my bestfriend, started the horrific rumor saying that I had a pregnacy scare, right after I got out of the retreat for self-harm and everything I listed above. so of course relapse spending a week in my room. Even her mother and father were spreading the rumor at there party, that my dads bestfriend was at. He told my parents and my mom told me.
I ran out of my house balling. now everyone knew! My boyfriend was at the house he tried calling but, I had thrown my phone at a tree. I sat on the side of the road to cry. The next thing I knew, my boyfriend went to find my phone, helped me off the ground, and held me.
In the three minutes Iwas alone,Ihad managed to find a sharp rock and perice my skin till blood apreared. I pulled my sleave down hoping to cover a gash. iguess a gray sweater doesnt do a very good job at that.
i looked up and there where tears in his eyes and all he could say is why?, i love you, im...ill always be here for you. In themoment i haddent cared., but at that moment i felt horrible, like a had made a bad desision. its hard to see someone you love being hurt by ur own actions. i was sorry but there was nothing in he world i could do to chage them. i went to bed that night wishing to be normal for 5min. and i wished i didnt have to hear why your so beautiful, and why that or why anything onestly i hate that word.