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The war seemed to be a twenty-four hour ordeal after time in country.You sensed and were exposed to the meaning of war. The constant demands.A guy got adjusted to living a 24 hour life. It was that you never really slept, you only relaxed and got some rest. The full high gear demanded this type stamina.You never knew when you would be attacked. The person lived on the instinct of survival. A constant vigil of watching and praying plus smoking. You just sort of motioned through time and the war. Catnaps in a half sleep became the norm for most, a plodding feeling.
After awhile you started to adjust to the 24 hour clock of your life now.The stamina of the human body became more present. You became aware of yourself and the person that was you. It bordered on the mystique in a somnambulist awake state.You went for days sometimes with out a real sort of sleep. There was again that half sleep life.Soon it entered into an exhaustion state with a second wind affect setting in. Grass just filled the gaps now like mortar and bricks. A persons mind was in a euphoric state of life, war, plodding, and exhaustion. I soon found lying on my back for a meditation state of half sleep was bound on the spiritual.
You experienced new levels of reality. You stayed stoned and talked to each other for who knows how long. It stimulated the mind and body and kept the person awake. Soon no other out-let of diversion was needed. You were in a transcendental state of being high. Your thoughts expanded and reality became more vivid. You looked through the true reality of the war and its real meanings. The real senselessness of war as a product of mans mind. This brought to my mind new realities of my life. It was only destruction and horrors upon horrors. Soon I started to question myself about my being in this war. This was not TV. or JOHN WAYNE on the silver screen. Why was I now part of this monster, with no end in sight ?It just continued and moved onward day to day. I didn't want to kill anyone, it was not my humorous nature. There was only one thing now naked reality to life.