I'm pregnant. The two words seemedto echo through my head, as if someone had yelled them down an empty hallway. Casen was staring at me expectantly and that only made me that much more nervous. His blue eyes seemed to caress my face as his gentle hands had done countless times. He gave my hand a small, reassuring squeeze. He seemed to know that I was gathering the courage and didn't interrupt my silence with any more questions.
My stomach was filled with butterflies. Violent one's at that. And as I looked into those deep, caring, blue eyes I couldn't help but feel like the preteen girl telling her crush she liked him for the first time. Only thing is, magnify that feeling times about one hundred. I swallowed and swiveled my body so that I was directly facing him.
He moved a big, gentle hand up and pushed a stray strand of hair from my face. Then he let his finger slowly trail along my jawline and come to rest beneath my chin. He lifted my chin slightly so my eyes moved back up since they had strayed away in my nervous state.
I took a deep shaky breath and suddenly wished I had the strength of Jennifer Hart. An up and coming female bronc rider that I had seen on tv the day before. I pictured her flawless ride in my mind and the confidence she possessed as she was interviewed. I also pictured deeper still the pain that seemed etched into her features. No matter how bad she seemed to hurt she still moved forward, and that someone gave me the strength now to just get on with my big news.
"Case baby," I started slowly. He inclined his head towards me slightly as if to tell me to go on. "Case...I'm...I'm pregnant," I finally spit out.
I seen the shock register on his features then his body froze. His mouth hanging open as if in mid speech.
I waited a few moments in hopes that he would say something reassuring. But nothing came. "Casen say something," I urged almost pleading with him.
He stood up and paced then, running a shaky hand through his hair. "Are...are you sure it's mine?" he croaked.
I felt as if I had been slapped and then anger fueled up in me. "What the hell is that supposed to mean Case? Are you trying to imply that I cheated on you? Of course it's your's."
He sat back down by me quickly, an apologetic look in his eyes. "Kaya sweetheart, I'm sorry. Thats not what I meant." I felt some of my anger ebb away as I stared into his eyes. He was just as surprised and confused as I was.
**"Casen I don't want you to leave," I bawled as he held me tightly against his chest. "I can't live without you, it will be like torture for me," I choked out between sobs.
I heard him sigh as he pulled away from me just enough to look into my eyes. His baby blue shirt really set off his eyes and made it that much easier for me to become lost in them. He brushed his thumbs swiftly across my eyes disposing of the tears gathering there. "Kaya sweetie, I don't want to leave either. I never want to be away from you. But if I stay here I'll do something stupid and I don't want to jeopordize anyone. You know how bad my anger management has gotten since everything that happened."
I knew that it was true. That it would be better for Casen if he went somewhere. Somewhere that he could get help controlling his anger. I hated that he had chosen military training.
Shifting slightly I groaned as a piece of hay stuck into the bare skin of my legs. It was only then that I became aware of Casen's curious gaze on me. I guess I had gotten a little to lost in my thoughts. When I looked at him, sitting there beside me, I couldn't help but fall in love all over again. He was perfect and he wanted only me. Who would have thought such a thing could be true?
"Kaya I love you so much," he whispered as his lips brushed lightly against my ear. I giggled girlishly and wiggled away from him. Fluttering my lashes I peeked up at him and couldn't help but smile.
"I love you to," I whispered back to him, "and I don't want you to leave," I couldn't help but add quickly.
He grinned, and for a moment all the sadness left his eyes as he leaned over and grabbed me by the waist pulling me back up against him and pressing his lips passionatly against mine. "I know you dont," he uttered between kisses. And then there was nothing more said, only our actions spoke.**
I blushed deep red as the memory ran through my mind. My heart pounded hard against my chest and I realized Casen was talking to me. "When did you find this out? How far along are you? Kaya are you even listening to me?"
I blinked and refocused my gaze on him. "Of course I'm listening to you Case and I have every intention of explaining everything to you. I am four months along," I stopped there incase he wanted to question what I had told him and sure enough he did.
"Four months? How come I didn't know you were pregnant before now then?"
"Yes four months. It was the day before you left for military training that it happened. I...I didn't start my period for three months. I became worried after the first month passed and went to the doctor. He said he didn't see anything out of the ordinary and that sometimes girls could be irregular with their cycles. So I thought nothing about it when another month went by. Afterall the doctor said there was nothing to worry about. But then this past week while you were in jail I went in for my annual check-up and they told me then that I was pregnant. They said that the doctor should have been able to tell me that when I had first went in and they didn't understand why he didnt."
Casen looked bewildered. "Stupid quacks," he muttered. "I...I just can't believe that we are having a baby. I can't deal with this Kaya."
I felt my heart drop and I knew my face had fell. Was he saying that he was going to leave me now? Now of all times? I didn't understand. I thought he loved me. Then I looked at him closer and seen the smallest sparkle of amusement light up his eyes.
"CASEN DANIEL!" I screamed causing him to jump. "Don't you ever scare me like that again," I huffed.
He smiled that sweet, boyish smile that no girl could resist and cupped my face in his hands. "My beautiful Kaya, I would never leave you. My life is meant to be lived with yours. I will love this baby just as much as if it had been a planned baby. I would do anything in the world to keep you and our baby happy and healthy.
I smiled, sincerely happy with his response and leaned in pressing my lips lightly against his. Relishing in his touch my eyes fluttered closed, and I felt his hand snake down and come to rest on the smallest of baby bumps hidden beneath my shirt.
A/N-The Jennifer Hart mentioned above is the main character in texasbroncrider's novel Gunpowder and Lead. So if you haven't checked it out you should cause it's an awesome novel =]