The Shadow Princess Chapter Four

Chapter Four:

True to my word, I put more effort in Healing. Ever since I left that room with that very shocking news, if felt a heavy lump on my throat and my stomach felt as though a brick was thrown into it.

I was even more cross and hopeless after that. I felt like I was going to lose my mind! My only comfort before was that my WA went unnoticed but I was talented. Right now, I didn’t know what to convince myself anymore.

I was just some worthless pile of junk.

Nevertheless, I did what I promised I would, and went to the library to study.

My favorite place in the castle, other than my room, would have to be the library. It was my private sanctuary, with books dotted all over the place, and I was left in peace to read and enjoy being alone. I went here more than my siblings did; they preferred al fresco, where all their fans and friends enjoyed their company. I apparently preferred the library, where there was always privacy, and solitude was perceptible. There weren’t any gawking or interested eyes, nor criticisms when you walked by.

“You prefer being alone, don’t you?” Tyler asked as I went to the dimmest place of the library. The whole library was empty, but somehow, that badly lit table called to me. That was my favorite spot in the library.

“Yes, I do.”

“And it bothers you so much that for every second of your consciousness for this year, you’ll have me as your tail?”

“It’s not really having you as a tail. It’s simply having a tail.”

I rounded up to him, eyebrow raised. “You shouldn’t take that personally, you know?”

“I know.” he replied, his eyebrows tied together forming a crumpled forehead and his lips curving into a frown.

“What’s bothering you, then?”

“You. I think you’re lonely. ”

“It’s just that I want to be alone. That doesn’t mean that I’m lonely. ”

“I know the difference with alone and lonely. Right now, you’re with me. That means you’re not alone, but you are lonely. ”

I smiled feebly. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m intrigued. I want to know what you want. What truly makes you happy?”

Now, that question was something simple, but it hit me, partly because of its simplicity, but also because I didn’t know the answer to that very simple question. What was it that would made me happy? Why did guards and the golden furniture all around me give me discomfort? Why was it that the others didn’t feel this uneasiness? Was it really because I thought I didn’t deserve them? Why was it that I did feel lonely, despite the very beautiful face that was staring before me at every second of my conscious memory?

“You’d just have to find out and guess.”

He smiled, but that smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Alright. I’m a little disappointed, though. ”

“Alright. Fine. So trade your question for any other question. ”

He smiled, this time, even with his eyes. “Okay. First question? ”

“Yes, but I have to state my conditions first.” I had naughty plans on my mind.

“Okay? What‘s that? ” he asked cautiously.

“Fist condition is that for every question I answer, you are to answer a question I ask you, too. And no lies.”

He thought about this. “Fair enough. Do you have a third condition? ”

“Yes. Same essence. For every command you give me that I follow, you follow one command, too. ”

He grimaced. “That’s unfair. I’m your guard, and I’m bound to give you a lot of commands for your safety. ”

“Life’s unfair. You have to learn that. ”

“Fine. I’ll take the deal with another condition. ”

“Yes? I’m listening...”

“When I give you a command regarding safety, you follow at once with no arguments. That ‘s bound to help me with my job…” He was smiling now, more than satisfied with his brilliant idea.

“Alright, that’s fair enough.”

“Okay. I’m excited. First question? ”

“No, I have to study Healing. Before next school year, I’ll have to take a test that’ll determine if I could still have the standard Healing Classes for High school. The way I see it, I haven’t had any progress since second grade!”

I paused to reminisce about the time when I was asked to heal a rabbit with cold and ended up decapitating it. Then I also remembered the time when I made a cockroach explode and the blood went all over Sensei’s cloak. That was the first time I ever heard of a Healer curse. They were supposed to be very peaceful people…

“Plus,” I continued, “It is only Father who wants me to continue taking up that wretched class. I obviously have no talent for that!”

“Really? What’s wrong? I thought Minor Healings were easy…”

“Right. Yes, for others. Not for me, though. I know all the written stuff. I top all the written exams, but I flunk all the practical ones. ”

He smiled. “Nice.”

Perfect. He was making fun of me.

I rolled my eyes.

“I could tutor you.”

“How? For the practical test, they’re gonna bring dying stuff… like bunnies and stuff…” I said, thoughtful.

He had an idea; I could see it in his eyes, and somehow, it didn’t comfort me.

“What’s the hard part during practical exams?”, he asked.

“The blood…the pressure that…well…you know…that this creature’s life rests on you. And yes, I know that when I fail in healing the creature, Sensei will just have to heal the creature again, but the essence is there, you know? The essence of responsibility over someone’s life is there, and all the blood and the gasping of the creature just distract me…”

“Good. Practice on this.” He held out a knife from his pocket and before I was able to ask, he slit his wrist open.

I let out a silent scream, jumping out of my chair, and waving my hand frantically over his big, deep, open wound. “Tyler! Oh, no, no, no, no---”

He grimaced in pain, his lips getting pale. I focused on his face to calm myself down, looking away from the wound. But his face was getting whiter, and that distracted me too.

“Presence of mind in the midst of panic. Do not allow yourself to be too distracted until the point that you would reach ineffectiveness. I cannot heal myself. You are my only hope. You have to do well.” he reminded me.

As if I needed reminding.

This was not a good idea, but focusing on how much of a mess we were in was not a good idea, either. So what I did was put my hand over his wrist, closing my eyes and breathing deeply, not minding the blood gushing out of his wrist, into my palm. I then started trying to transfer some of energy to close and heal the wound. No use.

“Oh, Tyler!” I exclaimed, beginning to become hysterical.

“What do you need in order to heal?” he asked me calmly, but his voice betrayed him in his last words. He was in deep pain.

“Inner peace. Abounding love.” I said frantically, still trying to close the wound. More amounts of blood gushed out.

“Good. That’s the only question present. Do you love me? ”

I panted, and then for a second, my gaze left the blood, and then swept to his face.

Automatically, I knew the answer. “Yes,” I whispered, and as if that word was a magic spell, his wrist closed and the blood disappeared, leaving a faint scar on his wrist.

I sank back in relief, breathing heavily. He got his color back, still smiling confidently.

“A person is harder to heal than bunnies. You’re going to pass tomorrow. You’re also gonna top the practical exams. ” He was satisfied and happy.

I remained speechless. This gave him more time to gloat.

“And you owe that all to me.” He laughed heartily. “Later, when you could already speak, you could thank me.”

I gave him a murderous look, my nostrils flaring. “Later, when I catch my breath, you will find it hard to breathe yourself. I mean it. Enjoy your precious seconds breathing freely. ”, I said pausing from time to time to catch my breath.

He laughed. “So you do love me then? I knew it. ”, he teased.

I gaped, speechless, and it wasn’t because of the blood. I was getting redder.

He smiled confidently. “Well, thank you for your love, and I love you, too.” He kissed my cheek and then laughed too hard that he fell off his chair. My heart betrayed me as it started dancing an unfamiliar rhythm.

I rolled my eyes crossly, but I knew he was right. I could pass the test. However, I needed to not look at him, or I would go red again. What I did was simply read Healing books, happy to find any excuse to not look at that stunning face that was focused on me.