Inescapable Nightmares - IV - Smiles, Tears and Breakfast

She was in that space, right before you woke up, when you were not entirely asleep, and yet not awake either.
She could hear a faint noise in the background, but it made no sense, because nothing really did in this space.

Similarly, the she could see redness, and she could feel something on her skin... None of which she could discern nor comprehend.

They relentlessly continued their gentle assault on her senses, until her sleep drugged brain was forced to register that, the noise was collective speech, the redness she could only see was just that strange effect of light filtering through her eyelids, and the stimulus on her skin, was warmth.

 

And then, her eyelids were wrenched back in alarm.

Momentarily forgetting all that had happened over the past few days, and subsequently, why she was in a bright, warm room, with vague sounds of conversation floating about her... Instead of the shadowy, coolness that was His lavish bedroom.

 

She sat up, not without considerable effort, and rubbed her eyes tiredly before peering around the room with narrowed eyes.

As her eyes landed on a certain fair-haired young man, standing at the door with his back to her, the unease that had been clawing at her stomach disappeared.

She sank back on the pillows.

 

Oh that's right... I'm safe now.

 

She rolled the word around on her tongue..

 

"Safe..."

 

For now... For how long will it last? It seems far to good to be true.. Doesn't it?

 

Luckily, she heard her name being called, before her mind could further torture and torment her.

He rushed over to the side of her bed, his long, chiselled face displaying a warm smile.

 

"Clara, was just asking now if she ought to bring in your breakfast, i didn't know you were awake, and i was insisting to her that you should not be disturbed while you were yet resting. I'll call her in with the tray now.."

 

He got up, and headed to the white door, with the tinted glass panels.

 

Oh.. That explains the voices...

 

He returned, followed momentarily by a shot plump, tray laden woman displaying that same warm smile Harry wore.

The part of her that had seen too much in the last few months could not help but wonder for what reason they did everything toward her with such kindness.

 

I surely do not warrant it... They ought to treat me with the contempt and cruelty I deserve.

 

She tried to brush the thought aside, knowing they'd only result in tears leaking from her eyes again,

 

 I couldn't possibly cry now, not when all around me - including the bright yellow wallpaper - is making such an effort to brighten my world this morning.

 

She distracted herself by looking down at the tray that had been placed across her lap, gasping as she took it all in.

 

"w-wow.. This is... I ca -"

She didn't want to seem rude or ungrateful, so she paused and tried to relay a better response.

"Thank you, really... but I'm sorry.. I can't possibly eat all this, as it is now... I barely feel hungry at all. Sorry... "

 

Her words were softly mumbled, and she nervously playes with the stem  of the flower on her tray.
 Sure, she felt so very comfortable here that she dared to speak her mind, but it was very hard indeed to fight habits that had been beaten into your for months.

Pets didn't complain.

So she compromised for the sake of ending the inner argument in her head that was driving her insane,
and she spoke very quietly, with her head bent low.

 

She felt small pudgy hands gently come down on her sloping shoulders.

 

"Now, now dear... There's absolutely nothing to apologize for, you're being politely honest with me...
However..."

Her voice grew stern... but of the nice, motherly sort, and her bright smile still remained as she continued,

".. It simply will not do for you to not eat a sufficient amount while under my care, you look far, far too frail and thin!"

 

she looked down to the wrist the woman had picked up as she spoke the last part,

It certainly did look painfully small, like a gust of wind would come along anytime and snap it clean off!

 

She quickly wiped away the tears that had peen pooling in her eyes, and smiled appreciatively at the woman's kindness.

 

"okay."

 

She nodded slightly and picked up a croissant,

 

"Itadakimasu"

 

She murmured the traditional word spoken before a meal in the same timid quiet voice she had these last months, she noticed out of the corner of her eye, the small frown on Harry's face. She shrugged in response.

 

"Sorry... force of habit."

 

She murmured in explanation, he nodded sadly.
She blinked back the seemingly ever-pooling tears from her eyes then concentrated on tearing the sort warm croissant into edible pieces... Of which she ate three, leaving most of the croissant strips strewn over the saucer, looking reproachfully at her, along with the other untouched croissant and scone, and an apple, and some grapes...

There was an awkward silence blanketing the room, it was stifling her airways.

With dangerously shaky hands she lifted the glass of orange juice to her mouth and drank some.

Them gathering her courage pushed aside the tray on her lap, avoiding Clara's eyes as she did so.

 

The silence stretched on, and for a reason she would not be able to explain if asked, she began to cry.
Small sobbing noises escaped from where she had placed her palm over her mouth, and her small shoulders shook with the effort.

Somewhere far, far away, she vaguely heard noises, akin to conversation, but she couldn't grasp anything beyond her weeping. She heard a door snap shut softly.

Then she felt strong arms envelop her, and her body being manoeuvred to lay back against something very solid.

The soothing noises floated down to her ears, accompanied by soft stroking down the length of her back.

 

It continued, until she found her body growing still and her low whimpering ceasing.

 

"I'm s-sorry.."

 

She choked out the words into his chest, and she felt a finger under her chin tip her head backwards so that she was looking up into smiling, albeit sad eyes.

 

"Baka, how many times must I say to you that there is no need whatsoever for you to apologize... You've been through more than most can imagine, you're not going to completely be okay for a while... "

 

He sighed and raked a hand through his floppish blond hair.

 

"He dictated everything you did... Including eating, it'll be sometime before you can comfortably do things independently... But you'll get there, you're one of the strongest people I know."

 

She released a long shaky sigh, and began tracing patterns on his chest with her index finger

 

"Do you remember the first time we met?"

 

Her softly spoken question had caught him off guard. She was no longer looking up at his face, but staring into the distance, so she didn't see the myriad of emotions that flitted across.

 

"Y-yeah.. I do."

 

Silence reigned following his response, as both were suddenly lost in nostalgic recollection... and of the same event no less.