Chapter 1
Pretty soon there’s so much bullshit in a young man’s life where he refuses to accept it anymore, but then he’s no longer a young man, but rather he becomes the man. A young man is no different than a child. It’s only a pathetic form of a wild teenager that no longer wants to be treated as a child but doesn’t have the guts or ability to become a man. Frankly speaking they don’t have the balls. People hate people like that. Those kinds of people are wild teenagers, but what neither of them realize is that when you put wild in front of the word teenager you’re only saying teenager twice like some kind of idiot who thinks he knows what the fuck he’s talking about. You see there are two kinds of teenagers, there are the ones that are wild, and the ones that want to be wild. The ones that are wild are happy until someone gets hurt. Usually it’s someone innocent but that’s a different story altogether. Now the ones that want to be wild, they’re the interesting ones. They’re the ones that want to be the wild ones but they have this kind of sick fantasy in their head that someday these “wild” dreams are going to happen and their internal wildness is going to release them to their one true kingdom of wild paradise. Someday they’ll be popular, someday they won’t be the freaks, someday people will like them for who they are, someday people will want to be with them, and eventually it slowly will one day, but when it does let me just say that I don’t want to be the one around when their demented minds full of fantasies becomes the animal of this reality of ultimate satisfaction. Those teenagers are dangerous. They’re the wild ones, not the ones who just do what makes them happy. People say they hate the first kind, but the most dangerous kind is the second kind because their constantly analyzing everything. They’re a wreck of impulses with brains. But what I realize is something much more different. I realize that everyone that hates teenagers (both kinds) can’t help but call themselves hypocrites and partially hate themselves. They too were just like them, until they became men. So why do they hate them? That’s simple. They hate them because they remember that they were like them at one point in their lives. They hate them because they can, because they have the power to and it will bother the fuck out of the criticized and hated. We’re all just people that evolve. Life is a big war. And like all wars there really is no winner. The peacemakers fight the peacemakers children or the lovers fighting the haters, or the loved fighting the loving and the loving fighting themselves. The winners, the losers, the fighters, and the boxers, it all comes down to dominance and that is the universal story.
I stand on this platform everyday waiting for my train to arrive and annoyed by the impatient haters waiting for theirs to do the same thing. Once you stand up here long enough you start to notice imperfect things. The adults are impatient and the elders either whine or talk to someone younger and feel like they have some kind of a damn right to complain because they’re beloved desire hasn’t arrived three minutes early. People like me are lovers and people unlike me are haters but to them people like me are haters so I guess that makes the world a just place. That’s basically the caste system of my society and probably life. There’s a psychological theory that states that we as people tend to underestimate the impact of situational influences and overestimate personal dispositions. They call that fundamental attribution error. The haters wouldn’t believe that theory. Just like every theory there’s always another one and mine is that when a hater sees a lover they just hate them for the sake of hating and that’s why they’re called haters. They stereotype, they judge and are completely careless about anything that doesn’t involve them. Want to hear something ironic? If they’re all so self-centered well I don’t mind I’m personally altruistic, but if they see people like me care about the welfare of others they question our motives? So what happened to that self-centered appeal? It was adjusted but why? It’s their attitude. Such dissonance they’re feeling when they see someone go above and beyond their beliefs. The haters are like that. They say one thing and they try to be one thing and thus try to believe one thing but end up betraying their total values because of the feeling that they are wrong. What if we all did that? What if I changed everything I did because someone was different than me? The world would just be fucked up.
The train finally came one minute past 11’o’clock (the original time). I boarded the train and was on my way.
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