If I had a piece of candy for every time I had a crush their would be so many to choose from. My favorite would have to be jolly rancher's the green apple kind because right now I had a major crush on Taylor Gram who didn't know who I was. News flash people I'm not popular so that would probably be why or the fact that I go to extreme measures just so I don't have to fit in to a bunch of blonde Cheer Freaks also known as the cheer leaders. Yup that's what I call them and it so true. They can also be known as bitchy, mean and think everything is about them. I know what I'm talking about.
Anyways back to why I'm so unpopular and why I can't even get the guy I like. I guess it sort of started when I was in the lunch line getting a tray of parmesan and ham sandwich I remember it really clearly because I was wearing my favorite black stripes tank and black skinnies with boots. Well let's just say that in the end I ended covered in red tomato soup and I was really angry at that. Getting ready to yell at the person and my mistake I turned very quickly glare one my face, whipping my long black hair as I turned.
"Could you be a more annoying…?"
I almost pass out when I see its Taylor Gram. He looks at me not apologizing for what has just happened and I probably just stand there with a weird look on my face. It seems like its been a while since anyone's said anything until he talks.
"What?" he asks looking me down.
I want to yell at him for the obvious reason that I'm covered in red tomato soup.
"Taylor?" a girl suddenly calls out. "What are you doing talking to her?"
Its Stacey Peterson one of the cheer freaks at school. She walks up to us with a smirk on her red colored lips, her golden platinum hair shining in the cafeteria lights. I want to squirm away from this position that I'm in but I just can't let it get away.
"Are you going to apologize to her?" Stacey says grabbing a hold of Taylor who's still looking me down with his intense hazel eyes. I just stare back sort of shaky. "She's waiting Tay."
Stacey looks like she's enjoying this moment which is taking so long.
"I don't apologize to girls, especially ones who need help on looks." Taylor looks me up and down with a scowl and I want to run out of the cafeteria from humiliation.
"Ouch" Stacey laughs putting her hands on her hips. "Taylor you are so rude it's funny."
Stacey punches Taylor on his right shoulder as she leaves her cheerleading uniform gracefully moving with every step. I don't dare to look at Taylor as we stand there for a few minutes.
"Fine." I suddenly sputter out angry all of a sudden. "Don't apologize Taylor. But one day you're going to get what you deserve, you and Stacey and everyone else."
He actually laughs like he doesn't believe me as I walk away but I just from him, everyone letting my anger run through me.
I'd never been so angry for so long even Tanner Sullivan, my best friend since kindergarten, seemed surprised.
"Why are you so mad?" Tanner asked as we got into his ford ranger.
Tanner could always sense my moods by just looking at my body language and right now my body movements weren't my usual swift and elegant as usual. I look at tanner's very dark red curls, ruby lips, and hazel and amber eyes. I'll be honest with you, Tanner is a very good looking guy, I wouldn't be surprised if her were to announce that he just got asked out.
"Weren't you at lunch?" I blow out my breath and look out my window.
"Kind of." Tanner scratches his neck and starts the truck making it rumble as he reverses.
I quickly shift my eyes on Tanner who's looking ahead. "What do you mean kind of?" I wait still staring at his face.
"I stayed during half of munch in photography class finishing up my project." He finally lets out as we stop at a stop light. He looks at me with a little smile. "I'm sorry. So what did I miss?"
I stare at him staring at me until finally the stop light turns green. I look away and tell him while he nods listening to my. And I have to say it makes me feel a whole lot better then it did not talking about it.
"Then Stacey said 'You're so mean Taylor, its funny.'" I mimic Stacey's sweet innocent voice. "Then she punched him and left actually encouraging him to go on as she left me there to suffer."
I shake tanner's shoulder forgetting that he's driving but we laugh. After a while we don't speak as tanner drives past the duplex's, and the old elementary we went to and the really old library no one really goes to anymore since someone heard that their were ghost's haunting it. We sped by the round about going up the big hill I'd climbed so many summers when I was still in elementary school pretending it was a mountain. I close my eyes remembering.
"Rachel?" Tanner wakes me, shaking my shoulders.
I open my eyes looking into his and look away finding that I'd dozed of a little.
"Hmm?" I squeak out
"Your home." Tanner laughs and points to my Ikea looking home.
I lift my head and rub sleep away from my eyes thinking of something I didn't ask before.
"Tanner?" I say. Tanner looks at me with a questioning look. "Do you think I'm cute or pretty?" Or anything in that category I want to ask but leave out.
Tanner looks away his face hidden while I wait for him to say something. After some time I put my bag over my shoulder and think what a dummy I was for asking such a stupid question.
"See you tomorrow, Tan." I put on my confident smile which I hope makes me still seem like myself and reach for the car door handle.
"Wait." Tanner suddenly says grabbing a hold of my left hand. I look down surprised.
Since when did Tanner get so touchy? My eyes travel upward toward his lips, onto his dazzling but weird eyes. We stared at each other no one moving.
"About your question." Tanner interrupts the quietness in the car. "Why does it matter?"
My mind travels to lunch time, the threat I'd promised to give to the whole school. To Stacey and Taylor who'd I promised to make suffer.
"Oh forget it." I pull away from his grasp opening the door and jumping out of the truck which wasn't the best thing to do when you forget that it's a truck and jumping of when you're mad gets you hurt.
"Ouch." I let out angry and humiliated.
Tanner suddenly appears and lands on the ground besides me looking worried.
"Are you ok?" he asks grabbing me by the shoulder.
"Of course I'm ok." I let out angrily pushing him away and rising up. I pick up my bag of the cement floor.
I trudge up my front steps leaving Tanner lying beside's the ground alone. Searching for my keys Tanner calls once again.
"Rachel?" tanner asks. He's getting up from the ground. "Will you come to a party with me tonight?"
I look at him from my position while he scratches his neck looking at me.
"It's not really going to be that big of a part. Just some students from school and I don't have anyone…" He babbles on still looking at me and I sort of want to laugh but as I keep watching his redness on his face I just smile.
"Sure." I reply. "You don't have to try to hard to convince me. I'll come if it's with you."
Tanner smiles so bright that it makes me giggle.
"We are best friends after all." I pull my front door open as I watch Tanners smile falter while I move my hair out of my eyes.
"I'll pick you up at 5:30." Tanner calls out a little out of it like his energy's gone.
My eyes wonder away from him as he gets into his truck slamming the door loudly. My mind wonders what's up with him. Whey he's acting like this.
I'm sliding into my black halter tube dress when someone knocks on my door.
"Can I come in."My little sister's raspy but cool voice calls from the other side of my bedroom door.
"Hold on." I call strapping my black cowboy boots on pulling on my fuchsia belt over my dress.
I rush to get my purse from my tidy bed, scattering my clothes into my clothes hamper while apply some lip gloss. I sit on my bed quickly trying to calm my beating heart.
"Come in." My voice sounds out of breath as April's freshly dyed platinum blonde hair swishes in long beautiful strands.
I hold my breath as she gives her up and down just checking around look, her brown eyes set in an unfriendly look.
"So I heard you were going to a party tonight." April starts crossing her tanned arms looking me down.
"Something like that." I say. I want to add 'When did you hear that?' But I just look at her waiting for her to say what she's here for.
"I didn't get an invitation." April sighs looking at her frosty blue manicured nails instead of me.
"Tanner got an invite so he invited me. Must be exclusive." Or as Tanner had said 'small party.'
April gives me her cool look, glaring slits through her eyes. It's only a matter of time before she…
"Can I come?" She finally asks letting go of her cool demeanor for only a few minutes. Can you believe I'm the only one who sees her true front, even my parents can't.
"I though as you stated not so long ago when you didn't invite me to a party 'I don't want to be seen by you, near you, or even close to you because then people would think we were related making me un-cool.'" I open my laptop scrolling to my private journal typing everything that had happened to me this morning.
April huffs moving from one foot to the other still waiting for me to say yes, let's just say this is one of many ways my sister gets her way. I just keep typing until my sister's phone buzzes and I hear a happy squeal coming from April who jumps then goes back to her cool composure.
"I'm surprised they let anyone into as you just said 'Exclusive party.' April gives me her disgusted look.
I shut my laptop, shrug and look at the time. Still twenty minutes to spare or torture from my sister.
"Are you wearing that? April asks her voice still disguised in disgust.
I look myself in my closet mirror finding nothing wrong with what I'm wearing.
"What's wrong with it?" I ask trying to mask out my fear that I might look to dressed.
"Nothing." April actually laughs but not her usual sarcastic laugh but a real laugh as I hold my breath. "It's just not you."
I look at her and smile. "I could say the same for you." I emphasize with her tough girl ego she puts on.
April rolls her eyes but her cheeks look a little flushed from being told she's a fake.
Then a blazing honk shatters our sisterly bond and I feel so relieved that I want to kiss Tanner for the save.
"Well my rides here." I shoo my sister out. "See you at the party." I scramble down the stairs not knowing that this would be the last time I would see or speak to my sister face to face.
It's one of those cool, dark nights. The ones where you want to just stay outside for or stick your head out your best friend's truck but try to refrain while he checks you out like he's never seen you before. Yup that's how this night was. If only I had known it would be my last then I would have done anything I could to not go to the party but I didn't.
"You look…wow." Tanner said every few minutes while I played with my hands.
I tried not to blush, "Thanks again for inviting me to this party," I gave him my sweetest smile as I watched his face turn a semi shade of pink. "You look really good yourself Tanner."
He really did look good in his plaid blue shirt making his eyes seem more beautiful, black Levi jeans and vans sneakers matching his shirt. Tanner's hair looked like he's played with it as the curls seemed to bounce every time we passed a bump.
"So where's this party at?" I really needed to know just so I could prepare for what was to come.
"Just a friends." He replied not hinting on anything else, changing the station as Lady Gaga's 'love game' began.
"I love this song." I squealed happily dancing in my seat. I closed my eyes shaking my hair around trying to feel the beat of the rhythm. I opened them to check on Tanner to find that he was looking at me with a smile.
"What?" I asked as I stopped dancing feeling semi self-conscious.
"Nothing." He responded, looking away. We pulled into a big beautiful house.
Still feeling conscious of myself I couldn't help but look up at this big house. It looked from my point of view like it had just been redecorated, seven car garage, even maybe a pool and a tennis court. It was one of those homes where maybe even someone famous could live in and this made me turn my attention back to Tanner.
"I thought this was going to be a small 'exclusive' party." I said giving him a suspicious look.
He parks his truck across from the house by a big oak tree still acting like he didn't hear my question. He shuts the car off 'moment for life' by Nicki Minaj and Drake drifting through the speakers. Tanner finally turns towards me as I wait for an answer but when he finally doesn't then I get it.
"You lied to me." I exclaim, gasping. Tanner's never lied to me before, well not to my face.
I wait for him to deny it but he just keeps looking at me not saying anything.
"Are you going to say anything?" I ask snapping my fingers in front of his face.
Tanner grabs both of my hands pulling me towards him and I almost jump, shaken by the fact that I didn't see this coming.
"Rachel," He starts quietly, really looking into my eyes, hypnotizing me. "I've been meaning to tell you this since the beginning of high school."
My mind races as I think of what it might be that he's going to reveal to me. Is he going to tell me that he's moving away or that maybe he just realized how uncool I make him and that he doesn't want to be my best friend any more. I gulp in some air trying not to pass out from my wild imaginations of being a loner and try to focus on what he wants to tell me.
"Rachel…I'm in love with you." He finally let's out quickly.
"If you're going to leave me, you didn't have to bring me all the…" I stop my words. Did Tanner just say he loves me?
"I'm in love with you." Tanner pulls me closer as I try to breathe and get his words through my head.
"But you never show it Tanner." I muster up finding it hard to speak. "Plus you lied to me about the party. Do you think telling another lie is going to get you out of this?"
I finally let out a giggle as my words come normally. If it's a joke to make me not mad anymore I guess it's working. I pull away from his grasp, turn up the music as Nicki's lyrics come through
"This is my moment, I waited all my life" I imagine stepping into the party having my moment, maybe even forever.
"Let's go Tanner." I smile at him stepping out of the car, this time not falling off as I straighten up.
I close the door looking up at Tanner still in the car with a blank stare.
If I had known that this was going to be my last time to make a good impression on him I would have kissed my number one best friend and told him to hold me forever. But of course I didn't.