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"What It Is To Be Young & In Love..."

Essay By: GeorgeJBurton
Young adult



A few years ago, I started to write notes on Facebook about all sorts of subjects. This is one taken from a while back and that I got a lot of positive feedback on. I did do a revised version of this quite recently but I'll leave that to post at a later date.


Submitted:Oct 2, 2012    Reads: 45    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


So as always, I start off writing this having no idea in the world what I'm going to write or how it's going to start/end... let alone all the stuff in the middle, you just have to let it flow, let the thoughts and feelings guide you in your writing.

Also, if your a Harry Potter fan then you'll realise the title of this is a quote from Dumbledore in Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince, I found it relevent to what I want to write. The full quote for those of you who don't know is:

"Oh, to be young and to feel love's keen sting."

Well, where do I start. Obviously, I am going to talk about being young; growing up and being in love, well, what we think love is. Many of you will know I help many people, I'm there for everyone and anyone, despite if I like them or not. I will always be there to listen to anyone and try and help, if not, just offer them the comfort of knowing someone is there.

Over the years, the more people have come to me, the more I've heard and the more I've witnessed is shocking. It really knocks you off your stride to see how badly society has been destroyed and rebuilt in a completely different image.

Let's start off with the obvious, living up to society's views. Most girls and also now boys believe they have to do certain things or look a certain way to be able to win someones heart or belong in this so called 'society'. Girls who maybe are not the brightest in schools or everyday life feel they have to degrade themselves to looking like tarts and slappers but to be noticed and of course, they are noticed but not always in the way, they wish they were noticed. Now I'm not saying this is every girl but it's a majority. As soon as they get that little bit of attention, if someone doesn't like them, they don't care and through this, it shapes who they are as a person and they stop being the lovely, young women they should be and it's saddening to think that as the generations have gone on, this is what has happened. Now, as for the other girls, they are others who don't think they look beautiful, well to be honest, i think every girl thinks that and they shouldn't because there isn't one beauty to live up to or be. YOU girls, ARE beauty, in YOURSELVES. You are. All of you have this unique beauty that one day, a boy will come along and think wow! When you love someone they are beautiful to you no matter what, so there's no point changing or hidding your beautiful looks because your all wonderfully unique but because of society this is being abused! I know so many girls who don't like there looks but they should! Because your all honestly amazing... and I can't stress that point enough. Now, through girls thinking they have to look like the celebrities who are faker than a Disney fairy tale, boys are punished by this. Girls think they have to look like celebrities when in all honestly, the celebrities are fake. They have millions to spend on plastic surgery and other treatments to change the imperfections that they think they have so straight away, they've side stepped the whole point of growing up and love for that matter. "We come to love by seeing an imperfect person, perfectly" So if you change that, someone will fall for a fake you, and not the person you was born to be. Now everyone hates some part of the their body but you learn to live with it and if you really hate it, you gain the will power to change it and then, you feel so much better instead of doing something to change it in seconds. You spend weeks, months, years to change it and at the end, you feel like a whole new person because the first step in anything is self acceptance. Going back to the boys thing, because girls are doing this to themselves, boys feel overwhelemed and like they have even less of a chance with girls because boys now start to think "I don't look good enough, I'm ugly, I'm fat" and yet again, Boys are slowly starting to realise the imperfections about themselves that girls have always thought about themselves and now, this is where society is making a major impact, they are helping boys. Boys are doing more to change. It's becoming rediculous. The perfect size for a girl now is like size 0, what the f**k? that's stupid. Ever heard of Marilyn Monroe? Well she wasn't size 0. In her day, she was the icon! she was the idol for all girls! and the big thing for boys! She had curves and she was sexy, she was beautiful. She was a model, everyone knew her. She was 36 when she died and she was a beautiful young women still going through the prime of her life and after she went. Everything started to go down hill. They say the last generation (our parents generation) screwed things up for us, well guess what, we're not trying to change that, are we? We think everything will be fine, but as we get older we will find that it won't be. Things that we've done and seen, won't be avaliable for our children. You know our generations problem? "We tried to grow up to fast" and by god we did. We just longed to be older because of all the advertising the media put out there to make growing up look amazing! Oh wow, Jobs that pay lots, fast cars, big houses, drinking and so much more! Well guess what, your never going to get close if you don't pay attention in your education and already, so many people don't. They are ruining it for themselves and they still expect the future to be bright and happen, well it won't when your living in a council house having to go to night school just to get the GCSE you didn't get to get the simpliest job. Stop messing around! All of this is effecting our education. We so focusd on other things. Then there's 'love' my main point. I said earlier "celebrities who are faker than a Disney fairy tale" many of us grew up watching Disney Channel and yes at the time it was amazing but it slowly did, put thoughts in our heads. You see these princess's marrying and going off with the most handsome man of their dreams! and that's all we focused on... and girls thought that's what's going ot happen for me! and boys thought, yeah! I'll be with that girl... but the problem with Disney Fiary Tales is... they are so fake, they don't show the pain, the problems that you go through in this thing called 'love'. It doesn't prepare you for later life, as you grew up. We had no idea what was to come but when it got here it was a bloody big surprise! Love is no game but I admit, I've treated it like one. As the years have gone on, I've cheated. I've messed people around. I've abused that word 'love' and only once I lost one of my parents, it hit me. Not straight away, it's took five years to sink in, what 'love' is. I lost my dad at the age of 10, the one and only person that I could go to and ask... why does it hurt? and yes I have my mum, but that's from a womens point of view and growing up with my mum these past five years, I've learned to care about women, I've learned more about them, of course I'll never fully understand girls but I can try... Love is a powerful emotion but it's not just an emotion, it's an action, it's a feeling.. it's living. We live to find the person we love. Life isn't easy. It's fully of thinking you have to do this, you have to do that, you can't do this, you can't do that. If your a virgin your a wussy, you have to much sex your a slag, if you shop around to much your also a slag, a player and the list of insults and words and 'sterotypes' go on and it's sickening. We lose people, to death and to other people. We have to work hard, sometimes we work hard and we fall harder, but that's just life. We make mistakes and we are judged against them and they stay with us. Forever. We are meant to make mistakes and move on, but by learning from them but in this day and age that's impossible because with teens are age, they don't understand that. You make a mistake and they will hold it against you instead of realising we are only human and yes mistakes are made and the thing you don't know is, someone will make a mistake and they will hate themselves for an awful long time, it will affect them and change them and it doesn't help when people use it against them, make them feel crap for what they did when they already know too bloody well what they did! Which brings me to another point. I was saying about "we come to love by seeing an imperfect person, perfectly" and the thing with that quote is, growing up, you start to 'love' people or really like them! and sometimes we get dropped on our faces in falling for them. If you've ever had someone you really like insult you or use your imperfections against you, you'll know how crap it feels.

There is a quote from FRIENDS, Season 2, "The One With The List" that can word this better than I can:

"No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you." Now I've had this done to me and it just rips through you. I'm 15 for god sake and I've felt something like this. I see people day in, day out. Telling each other they love each other. Going into relationships. Breaking up. People trying to win other peoples hearts and just falling. It's just, yet again, society... we are given these movies, these programmes we're love is portrayed as an amazing thing and if you work hard you'll finally win the persons heart you love. Truth is. I don't know you will. There is always going to be someone else you love, your first love and your first love, will always be there. Always have a place in your heart. No matter what age you get... they will just always be there and yes, you'll finally find someone else you 'love' and have feelings for but they will never truly have you... because you gave a piece of you to your first love that no one else will ever have because it's just to scary to give away again. Society is slowly effecting each and every thing we do. The way we eat. The way we look. The way we learn. The way we act. The things we're do and it's getting beyond the joke. Teenage suicides are rising, because people can be cruel. If one person isn't the same as another, one of them can bully the other because they are different. Well guess what, we're all different. We're all unique. We all have imperfections. We all have perfection. We all have a heart. We're all human. Some of you, out there, need to learn that.

Now I'll say this. To all the girls who may read this... I'll let you know, as a lad, there is a boy out there that loves you more than anything and he really wants to be with you. Now he may have told you, he may not have told you. He may long to tell you but he just can't. If he's told you, you may not want to be with him because you don' t feel the same then it all fairness, okay but some of you, will have stupid reasons. You'll like the person but you just don't think it will work, or it's something to do with friends or you care to much what people think. Well just stop it, for god sake. Give this lad a chance, because you'll regret it if you don't.. and we know the lengths we go to just so that you'll notice is. All us boys have hidden conflicts that we are not telling you.

To the boys, stop treating girls like objects... they are humans and they deserve a hell of a lot more respect than they get. They just want to be listened to, so shut the f**k up and listen to what they have to say. Even if your scared to listen because you don't know what to say. They'll be grateful if you listen. If you can help than do so, if you can't. Just be there. Talk to them and care for them. Girls are outstanding and we wouldn't survive without them. Love them, cherish them, care for them. Know the lengths they go to for us! They do their hair different in hoping you'll notice, where a different perfume, buy new clothes, they will go a whole different path just so they will 'accidently' run into you, just to say hi... honestly boys and girls. We all have conflicts, with them conflicts, it's stops us being who we want to be and showing each other how we really feel... Society is doing this and I want to change it. One day, I hope to.

As for now, I will stop talking. Thank you for reading if you have, I will appreicate comments if you have anything to say.

Thank you.





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