I Apologize For Any Inconvenience You Are About To Experience
While Reading My Response to Prompt Number 4.
Frankie, from Betramabnoxioantisystematica (which translates to “Mayhem with Chaos”), is always the best at everything, and is the coolest kid in the world. And he knows how to show it too; The way he gets out of his Mustang, pops his black leather collar up, and flicks his cigarette on some anxiously awaiting patch of asphalt; The way he adjusts his Aviator sunglasses right before he opens the front door to Gladiator Memorial High School, and the way he leans slightly hunched over backwards for dramatic “cool”, his hands in his pockets, his jacket unzipped; The way he sits in the back of English class and plays with his machine-gun-engraved Zippo; The way he shows off his reckless personality by popping his .9 in his belt during the school day, making sure everyone can see it; The way he flicks his tail ever so slightly to show that he’s paying attention to someone; The way everyone loves him, thinks he’s cool, asks him out on dates and hangs out with him; The way no Demon, Devil, God or Unicorn can go near him without genuflecting first.
The Cheerfuls are at war with the Others, which are ferocious flying pigs that all the God-breeds seem to hate; their superior technology and petty knowledge in undeserving matters are confusing and meaningless to the rest of us. The Demons are rebelling against God in Heaven, and the Angels are rebelling against the Devil in Hell. These make up the God-Breeds, or the General Re-Public. And the Populars stand by and watch, believing us to be great sources of entertainment, but have no Unicorns of their own.
The Unicorns, however, are a complex species, who seem to be the only ones with any reason whatsoever in this universe, which is why they are the Kings Over All Others. However, they’re always hiding in the forests, and seem to be an absentee-government. They’re constantly with war over all of the General Re-Public, and that just makes the General Re-Public more insistent. They’re constantly attacking the homeland of the Unicorns, but the Unicorns have their own civil war to worry about, so they’re never around to fight back. Riots are going through the streets as all of the other God-breeds, especially the ever-slick and stylin Populars (who are behind the scenes, trying to make alliances with everyone), fight for power themselves. A few have already made ever-binding pacts and fight in greater numbers. If only the Re-Public would just listen to the Unicorns and understand that the reason they’re at war is because they’re at war…
Betramabnoxioantisystematica is my world. I run the show here. And guess what? In my world, I don’t give a f***. In my wrld, I can sA f*** all I want, and no1 will do anything about it. In my wrld, I can use tha wrds “cuz” n “kindof” just because I feel like it, and because they’re easy-to-use-words. I can spell anything the way I want to, yeah, and because I can, I’m going to spell everything incorrectly. The carefull reeder has alreddy panefully gotten thru the pas few sentenses Ive writen, possibly marcing down all of my own obnocksciously poor sentences. But that’s how it goes; I don’t care what you or anyone else thinks. And if you can’t pronounce Betramabnoxioantisystematica, you’re probably not welcome here.
Although, I DO think that spelling things correctly is easier to read…
I wonder if...
I’m Frankie the Unicorns. I am this paper.
…and so is everyone else…
aw shit...
I wonder if...
| 
Email this Essay
| 
Add to reading list
