Looking into her pretty little face I wondered how we ever actually ended up. With those baby blue eyes, framed by thick black lashes she could have anyone she wanted. And to my amazement she had chosen me. But there was a catch to our fairy tale like love. This was just a dream, a figment of my imagination. I could love her and yearn to be with her all I wanted but it would never actually happen sadly. I don't know how it ever happened, but this has been going on sense I was 14. I know very pathetic of me to keep dreaming of this girl for 4 years straight. But I was convinced that I loved this fake girl.
'Come here' I whispered to her endearingly as I opened my arms to her.
A small smile curled her lips slowly then turned into a full beam of warmth flashing off her set of purl white teeth, her soft pink lips glistening slightly in the light. I was speechless as she stepped into my arm. As she slipped into my arms a soft sigh of pleasure slipped out of my mouth, this all felt so right. 'I love you' her angelic voice clenching onto my soul as a warmth consumed me like a fever. It was one of those loves you didn't think bout anything but her she was your all or seemed to be at least.
But the best part of it all is that she returned the feelings , maybe it was my way of cooping with losses. Or maybe it was just be creating my dream girl. But none the less even if it was just my imagination I felt as if it were real.
'I love you to' I answered hoarsely. It amazed me at how easily the words slipped from between my lips, at how natural it felt to say them to her.
Smiling she pressed close and rested her head on my chest. Her body fitting into mine as I held her. Resting my chin on the top of her head I just held her. As if time could freeze everything else grew dim as I slipped into what seemed like heaven.
'Scotty!' a voice scrammed. The voice shattering the heaven like trance pulled me away from her arms. 'Scotty' the voice screamed again my eyes snapping open.
Walking up I was tangled in sheets and blankets. My shirt knotted up, sweaty my hands clutching the sheets tightly, as I breathed heavy. Stifling a groan of dismay as I looked around, I was in my room. The dream was gone and I was alone again, and I would have to wait for tomorrow night to see her again…Laying back I rubbed my stomach and cover my face with my arm, who was that girl that made me feel whole? What was her name? I know its sad to not even know her name after 4 years, but when I'm around her all those questions I planned to ask always slipped my mind.
I wanted her, I needed her here in my arms again to return the peace to my heart that fluttered. My chest ached as my heart threatened to break the ribs that held it back. My breathing coming in short desperate gasps. My body restless all of a sudden, I had the urge to start pacing around the room tell I could sit still.
'Hey, are you ok?' came Alex's soft voice as the door creaked open.
Prying my eyes open I moved my arm and lifted my head to look at her. Did I look ok? I thought sarcastically not daring to say it out loud. Do I ever end up ok when I dream of her? 'Ya' my voice broke swallowing I cleared my throat. Which was a lie, I wanted to go back to her and leave this place.
Blushing she walked in slowly and sat on my bed next to me. 'I heard someone screaming Scotty' Alex said gently as she looked down at me.
Wide eyed I looked at her. 'So I wasn't the only one?' what a freaking relief maybe I wasn't going crazy. Your dreaming about the same girl for the last 4 years I think that is considered a bit crazy…
Shaking her head she glanced around. 'What happened Scotty, your all shaken up' glancing back at me she smoothed a hand over my stomach slowly fixing my knotted shirt.
Gulping I looked away as I felt myself blush. Would getting all giddy when another girl who isn't your girlfriend say 'I love you', considered cheating? 'she-she said I love you this time'
'O…' Alex whispered softly. 'that's strange' her voice broke off, her dark blue eyes appearing weighted down by hurt.
' baby,' I reached out for her. 'she means nothing to me' I grabbed her arm gently and pulled her towards me. Which was a lie she does mean something to me, she means everything to me. She keeps me calm and collected…
Avoiding my eyes she sighed. 'I know, but I just- o never mind its stupid to get all jealous over a stupid dream girl you'll never met' she shakes her head gently as she looked away.
Leaning up I turned her face towards me as I kissed her gently. Frowning I felt a sting of pain she was right I would never see her but only in my dreams. ' its not stupid, I know what you've been through' Alex had trust issues as well as abandonment issues. This in my case made it hard to do the usual rutine. And by routine I meant dating for a few months after a while breaking it off, but with her I couldn't seem to bring myself to hurt her as bad, I didn't love her I liked her enough to not want to hurt her simple as that.
'well I should let you get back to sleep, you have to work today don't you?' she pulled away quickly.
But it seems fate had something in plan for me as I notice her becoming more distant. Nodding she left quickly. Laying back down I closed my eyes as the girl drifted back. This time the area was different we weren't outside anymore.
'your back' she smiled softly as she turned to me. 'I missed you Scotty' she whispered as she sat down next to the window.
'I missed you to' this was strange I have never before been able to see her two times in one day…
'Why did you leave so soon?' she asked curiously. How was I suppose to explain that to a dream girl who loves me? 'o ya I woke up and was talking to my real life girlfriend.' That would just go smooth.
'I don't know' I lied.
'well at least you came back' she smiled brightly she soft her red hair falling over her shoulders glistened like it was wet. Two stars like tins held back pieces of hair.
This was how I spent my whole nights. Well most of the time that is, in a dream land with this girl. I don't really know who she is but she loves me and for some odd reason its comforting and when I am around her everything feels right in my life which is something that was missing for a very long time. With her I don't have to pretend, I don't have to be fake I can be the real me and I know she accepts me for me and not for who I have to mold myself to be around her.
Standing suddenly she walks to me and wraps her arms around me. 'I hope this time you can stay longer' she sighed softly into my chest. Her warm breath seeping into me.
Smiling I slid my arms around her seeking her warmth and comfort as a ease consumes me. 'I hope so to'