There was no excuse I could use for how I was acting towards him today, but I just didn't want to see him anymore.
Was it so wrong of me? To want to move on? After all I had done for him to have it thrown in my face?
I didn't like seeing him ruin his life. It was clear to me that he had other plans in mind. He didn't want to listen; he just wanted to do his own thing. Was I wrong to try and help him? To try and get his life straight? I was just tired of seeing him ruin all the opportunities that were given to him. A person can only take so much. It hurt to sit there and see how his life would never change how he would just end up going from house to house, from one county to the next.
It didn't help that I like him, so that only made things worst. Once I had 'did' the deed, I thought we would get together. But we didn't. He wanted to wait to get together, but I didn't understand why he wanted to wait. And just like that I was the last thing on his mind it seemed. Because shortly after that day that we 'did' it he had asked out another girl. Talk about a stab to the chest, to think two weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriends just to be with the guy! I didn't like having to wait to be with him. Where I would have to stay single and only talk to him, while he got to run around and be with anyone he wanted. That wasn't going to happen with me. He just showed his true colors to me. He was just looking to fuck someone and get cigarettes and drugs. And once he had gotten what he had wanted I didn't mean jack to him really.
Clamming he had friends that loved him; I figured his friends could take care of him if they loved him as much as he bragged.
I didn't listen to my parents about how bad of an influence he was on me. I figured it was just them trying to control me. I only realized they were right when it was to late to do anything about it. I washed my hands of him but by then it was too late, I was in to deep to turn back.
So, here I was sitting on the front porch of a drug dealer's house buying some weed.
Going from a straight A student to a C in a blink of an eye, rebelling against everyone. This had been going on for a month before I realized I should stop what I was doing and try to get my life back to normal I wasn't able to go cold turkey, but I had slimmed down. I was trying to get back to who I once was, which was proving to be next to impossible.
After what had went down, I had lost most of my friends because of how I had changed, from a good school girl to a pot head.
'Bethany." Glancing up I froze my mouth flopped open.
'Didn't know you did drugs' he shoved his hands into his pockets.
'I didn't know you did drugs either' I muttered as I crossed my arms over my chest.
'I don't, I'm here to pick up my brother' he shakes his head.
'OOO I see, so Derrick smokes?' Derrick was his older brother, who had just graduated last year.
Running a hand through his thick black hair he muttered. 'No' Taking a deep breath he added. 'Silas, the youngest, he's in your grade'
Silas Mayan smoked? When did this happen? He was on his way to skipping a grade to 12th and…and. 'Wow'
'Ya I know right?' he snorted softly. 'He got into a bad crowd at school. Now he's spends most of his days here'
Blinking I looked down at my feet. It was amazing how fucked up your life could get once you get addicted, it wasn't amazing in a good way it was in a bad way how it could twist you life into a mess. I was turning out to be just like him.
'You know you should really think bout quitting that stuff,' he points out.
Nodding I looked up at him. 'I'm trying, just its hard'
'Try getting into a rehab.'
'Look Chase, its not as easy as Mrs. Collin made it out to be. Its hard as hell. I'm lucky I was even able to slim it down.' I answered stiffly. 'But I am trying so don't judge me' I stood up and brushed my pants off.
'I'm not judging you. I'm just looking out for you' he puts his hands up. 'You were a good kid, straight A' s on your was to being valedictorian. And what not.'
Sighing rubbed my face. I really needed to stop snapping at people. 'look I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at you… and I am trying I really am'
Smiling he shrugged. 'Its ok, do you need a ride anywhere?'
Blinking I looked at him bewildered. 'Ya, but I can walk'
'Go get in the car, I'll be back in a little bit ok?' he walked past me and into the house. Looking where he had disappeared turned back and walked to his car and got in. sitting in the back seat I folded my hands on my lap and tapped my foot, glancing around I felt restless I wanted to walk or to at least move around.
The passenger door opened and Silas slipped in the beanie he wore was bright and caught my attention quickly. Breathing in heavy I caught the heavy smell of weed, the familiar smell curled my toes. Turning back to look at me he slipped his hand between the seats and dropped something on my lap. Looking I felt a smile curl my lips, he had brought me my goods. 'That's the good stuff' he muttered. His soft voice wasn't what I would of expected it, his eyes were red.
Nodding I smiled. 'Thanks'
The drivers door open and Chase got it. 'what the hell were you thinking Silas?!' he growled. 'Mom is going crazy thinking you ran away.'
'I don't need this crap' Silas rolled his eyes, as he looked away.
Smoothly I put the package into my sweater pocket and leaned back.
'You need to get your damn act together Silas, your not going to graduate if you keep this shit up. Maybe next time you'll O.D. do you want that?! To die?' growled Chase his deep rich voice filling the air.
'Leave me alone' Silas huffed as Chase began to drive.
All the way Chase chastised Silas. When we stopped at a light Silas unbuckled and got out.
'Where are you going?!' Chase screamed out the rolled down window.
'I'll be home late' Silas waved and disappeared.