HOPE FOR SCHOOL <3
MY life how do I explain such words, I feel as if my life just fly’s by and sit there without a care doing nothing to change it. I lay in bed every day feeling heart ache in my chest having my thoughts race faster and faster and I sit along in my room all alone with nothing but my mind that is my prison. Nobody knows though. I keep such a happy smile on my face it’s hard to tell that I would ever be sad unless somebody died, which in this case my soul has. Nobody knows the real me and I know its my fault and nobody else’s but mine. MY heart has been torn out of my chest but I sure do try my hardest to still love with it.
“ PICTURE CARE , PICTURE PERFECT .. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE SO JUST GO FUCKING NUTS !!! “
Screamed at me as the dreading alarm went off to hold my fate at school , ughh I don’t really want to go its way to early , though it is only 8:00 it feels like its 4, but I drag myself out of my bed my feet touch the cold hard wood floor of my bed room , I slide my feet into my cute lil hello kitty slippers I own and walk myself to my bathroom which is luckily located in my bed room . Turning the knobs to my shower, cold then hot, I hop into it. The water falls down my body so fast and yet so warm it’s the time when I think just how my day will play out. I wash my hair with my ocean scented shampoo, wash my body all over and then I’m out in a 10 minute flash. After I dry off my body I put my lotion on and look at my reflection in the mirror and I see me, I see the girl with the broken smile that still smiles to keep her heart in place, I see the girl with long black flowing hair that runs down my back I see the girl who will be late for school if I don’t hurry. I run to my closet and put on a white baggy sweater and some black leggings,with some flats . my hair needed to be straight and I only had about 45 min till school started so I ran my straighten through my hair real quick did my make in a simple wing with my eye liner and I my lips red , my skin was soft .
The morning air was a soft gentle breeze against my skin it felt like I could feel it as if it where someone talking to me when it brushed on my cheeks. I walked to my car and got in, the first thing I did was plug my I pod in and turned it to sleeping with sirens I drove out of drive way pretty fast that way I could just get to school and see everybody that I hang with .
There it was my high school in eye distance and there I was pulling into the parking lot. As I pull up one of my best friends pulled up rite next to me and that was bri she was a damn beautiful girl her hair was light pink and it was long and curly almost like she was a princess she always dressed in the most out there outfits but they just seemed to fit her and the way she was .
I got out of my car and greeted her
“ heyy there love “ I said
“Hello beautiful” she replied back
That always made me smile for some reason when somebody would call me that , though it’s not like I believed it but it was nice to think that maybe somebody was telling the truth when they said it to me .
We walked in to this big building full of kids who have most of their life planed and have the ones they love rite beside them . not me of course though I have no idea what I want with my life and well as for my wonderful my heart well no one really own it anymore though the guy before has stolen it and well I just haven’t gotten it back .. my mind thinks of these things as I walk in to the hell hole named school .
We walked to java city. The lady at the register asked “what will you have today dear “
“Strawberry banana smoothie please “
“hahahaha again “ bri chuckled
“coming rite up “
It didn’t take long just about five minutes and it was done , we walked out of there me sippin on my smoothie talking to bri about my weekend and everything that I did and she was telling me about the guy that she thought was cute which was pretty normal for her for some reason she always had a crush on somebody she never wanted to say anything to them even when they would throw them self’s at her she never gave in to them she kept her little porcelain heart to her self . and of even if there that on time that she did fall for a guy and he broke her I was the there to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart .
so we talked on and on, I happened to glance at the clock and it 9:00 class started at 9:05 FUCKK I yelped we have to get to class as I said that we did so . she ran the other way and so did I I had chemistry first class and I ran to the class just in time less than 2 seconds before the bell rung though but at least I made it .
SITT DOWN !! my teacher yelled at me.
I did so.
Looking out the window it looked very dark as if was going to rain.
My mind was saying please oh please let it rain ..
I looked back at the teacher Mr.Oats
And rite as my head turned to the teacher a guy walked in. somebody I have never seen in this class before but let me say his well his everything was just memorizing. I hid my smile in the cuff of my sweater and he turned to me those eyes pierced my soul. And the smile that he made as he looked over at me .