12. RYAN

Beep-beep. Brrrrnngg. Beep-beep. Brrrrnngg.

I reached for the desk near my bed, where I had put my cell phone. I turned off the alarm, butterflies erupting once again in my stomach as I saw the time: 10:40 PM.

I hopped out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom, still sleepy. I looked myself over in the mirror. I quickly wiped my finger under my eye, removing some smudged mascara, then raced out of the bathroom. I stumbled over to my closet and grabbed a plain black hoodie, zipping it up over my purple top.

Closing the door behind me, I rushed into the common room. The fireplace was glowing; Julia must have come out later and lit it. Staring into the crackling flames, I realized I had a problem. How was I going to get over to the tower? It was nearly eleven at night; it would be pitch black out. I looked out the window and noticed that there were flaming torches attached to certain parts of the buildings; but what about the dark corners, and what if one wasn’t lit?

I didn’t remember packing a flashlight, so I quickly searched the common room for something to use. My searched turned up empty accept for a tall, thick, light green candle. I figured I didn’t really have any other option, so I stuck it in the fireplace and the wick burst into flame.

I remembered the LeAnna had said there were maps. I looked around and finally found a stack of them on a table near the notice board. I grabbed one, stuffing it in the front pocket of my hoodie. I quickly glanced back toward the hallway to make sure Julia hadn’t waken and seen me. All clear.

I turned on my heal and pushed open the door to the landing. I ran down the stairs as fast as I could, being as quiet as possible. When I reached the bottom level, I quietly pushed open the huge wooden doors that led to the grounds. After making sure they shut quietly behind me, I raced down the dorm stairs. The frozen grass crunched beneath my feet as I hastily made my way over to the cobblestone path leading around the perimeter of the school.

I was able to make it all the way to the main courtyard without using the map, but I pulled it out when I got there. I unfolded it and held my candle over it, searching for the eastern tower. Once I located it on the map, I folded the paper in half and started heading east. I walked past the greenhouses and took a shortcut through a small grouping of trees, my candle leading me through the dark. Then, finally, I saw it. The eastern tower. I quickly checked my phone to make sure I wasn’t too late. I wasn’t. In fact, I’d gotten there a couple minutes early.

I walked closer to the tower. The entrance was just an open space at the bottom of the tower that held a spiral staircase leading up to different floors. I edged closer, glancing around me to make sure no one was near by. I squinted into the darkness, searching for Ryan. Where was he?

I was about fifty feet away from the tower, when the light from my candle glanced off a pair of glowing green eyes; like a cat’s eyes. I breathed a sigh of relief, and then stopped breathing all together when I saw Ryan’s face. He was grinning from ear-to-ear, looking in my direction. Butterfly wings burst open inside of me—my stomach, my throat. “Ryan,” I breathed. He began jogging in my direction, passion burning in his eyes. He picked up pace, sprinting towards me. I lost all connection with reality as I dropped the candle and the map and ran toward Ryan, as well. The icy wind blew through my hair and against my face, but I didn’t care. I would soon be safely in Ryan’s arms, and whatever happened to me between here and there, I could care less about.

We were about twenty feet apart. I grinned and my heart raced, as Ryan and I got closer and closer together. Ten feet. I felt nervous butterflies swarming through my body. Four feet. Ryan held out his arms for me, still grinning, but the grin had gotten a little more playful and mischievous. When I was close enough, I sped up slightly and crashed into Ryan, jumping up and hooking my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me tight against him. I pressed my face into his shoulder, inhaling his sweet scent, perfectly at ease. He buried his face in my hair, and touched his lips gently to my neck. I shivered.

“Emma,” he whispered. “I’m so glad you came.”

“Why wouldn’t I have come?” I mumbled into his chest.

“I wasn’t sure you’d be able to,” he explained, sounding slightly out of breath.

“I will always come to you,” I whispered.

He removed his face from my hair and I looked up into his eyes. I stretched my neck up and kissed him gently on his smooth, frigid lips. Despite the fact that Ryan’s body was about the same temperature as the air around me, a heat wave coursed through my veins as our lips touched. I untangled my arms from around his neck and grabbed his face between both of my hands. I pulled him closer to me and he didn’t hesitate. He smashed my body against his own. I could barely breathe he was holding me so tight, not that I was complaining. I leaned into the kiss more deliberately, my lips parting, inhaling his essence. His lips parted, as well and he seemingly did the same thing. I hesitantly traced the inside of his bottom lip with my tongue. I tasted something funny. It was the same lemony-chicory taste I’d gotten in my mouth earlier that afternoon.

I unwillingly pulled away from Ryan’s mouth, took my hands off his face, dragging them down his neck, and looked into his eyes. “What’s the lemony-chicory taste?” I asked.

“Chicory, that’s it,” he said, as if he’d just found the missing link to a murder case. “I could never put a name to the bitterness,” he explained.

“But what is it?” I pressed.

“It’s the venom.”

“The venom?” I asked, slightly shocked. Well, now that I thought about it, I guessed it was obvious, but still. I hadn’t really thought about it before.

“Of course. Eventually you’ll start producing your own venom too. It will taste the same as mine, since, well, it is the same.” Ryan trailed off.

“It’s already started,” I hesitantly informed him.

“It has?” he asked, a look of shock and horror crossing his face.

“Yeah,” I said, getting a bit nervous. “Is that a problem?”

“Well, I guess I should’ve figured you’d start producing your own venom sooner than normal, but it’s not even been a week,” he said.

“What does it mean?” I asked.

He ignored my question and asked one of his own. “When did this happen?”

I hesitated. “This afternoon during the tour was the first time I tasted it,” I told him. “We were by the fountains and—” I cut off and looked down, suddenly embarrassed. I wasn’t sure how he’d react to the whole bloody fountain thing.

“Go ahead,” he encouraged softly.

“Never mind,” I said.

“Emma, I’m not going to judge you. You can tell me.”

“Well,” I began. I looked up into his pleading eyes and everything just came spilling out. “We were in the courtyard, by the fountains and I was thinking about the water in them. Then, in my mind, I thought about the fountains with blood gurgling through them instead. And my mouth started watering, and it tasted like a bitter lemon.” I sped through my explanation, then waited for his reaction.

He sighed. “Well, if that’s it,” he began. I cut him off.

“What do you mean, if that’s it? I wanted blood, Ryan. I wanted blood to run through the fountains so I could lap it up! How is that not a big deal?”

“Well, it is,” he said. What I meant was as long as you didn’t have the urge to kill someone and drink their blood right then, we should be okay for a while.”

“A while?” I asked. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that we shouldn’t have to worry about you needing to feed for a little while, still. Since you only imagined blood in the fountain, and didn’t hear it or smell it coursing through somebody’s veins, you shouldn’t need to hunt for a while.”

I stared at him. “Is that what happens to you?” I asked softly.

“Only if I get really thirsty,” he explained. “But, obviously, right now, I feed on animals, so I try to shy away from human temptation.” A look of agony flashed in his eyes. “None of us can risk exposing out secret, so we must exercise control. But it gets extremely difficult sometimes; when you’re thirsty, in a room full of hot-blooded people, and all you can hear is their heartbeats, all you can smell is the iron and saltiness of their blood, all you can taste is the bitter, citrusy venom pooling in your mouth…” he trailed off.

I put my left hand on his cheek and turned his face towards me, for he had been looking down. I pressed my lips gently to his cheek and whispered, “I’m sorry, Ryan.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said. “I’m still fairly new at this; it will get easier over time, just like it does for everyone.”

The emotion in his eyes shifted from pain to determination. He put one finger under my chin and tilted my head up, only holding me to him with one arm. I let my hand drop from his cheek. “Emma,” he said, sternly, the tone of the conversation changing in an instant. “You must tell me right away when you start craving blood. If you have any thoughts, if you hear a pulse, smell the blood, if you start producing large amounts of venom—anything of that nature, you must let me know immediately. I’m not sure when these things could start happening, but we need to be ready, when they do. We can’t risk others finding out what’s happening. Promise me, Emma. Promise me you’ll tell me if anything happens.” His eyes blazed, boring into mine.

“I promise,” I said. He gently pressed his lips to mine and my bones turned to mush.

“Well, I suppose we’d better get you back now,” he sighed.

“Yeah,” I agreed, but groaned internally. I was perfectly fine here, with my legs and arms wrapped around Ryan, thanks very much.

I hopped down and he grabbed my hand, leading me away from the tower.

“Wait,” I said, as we walked by the candle and map lying on the ground. I bent down and picked them up. “Uh, you probably don’t have a match with you, do you?” I asked.

“No, but I have my excellent sense of direction,” Ryan said teasingly. “I’ll walk you back.”

“Okay,” I agreed, smiling. That worked for me just fine; the more time I spent with Ryan, the better. I stuffed the map in my pocket and held the large green candle in one hand, holding Ryan’s hand in the other.

We walked through the grounds, and skipped the courtyard altogether, heading straight for the cobblestone path that led to the dorms. When we arrived at the stairs to the girls’ dormitories Ryan walked me to the door and silently opened it for me. There was a single torch lighting the bottom floor. We stood in the entryway, holding each other’s hands, gazing into each other’s bright green eyes. That reminded me of Michael. I contemplated asking Ryan about that, but decided against it. It can wait, I thought.

Eventually we had to say our goodbyes.

“I’d better go,” Ryan sighed. “Goodnight, Emma.” He leaned down and kissed me lightly on my lips.

“Goodnight Ryan,” I said softly and gave him a goodnight kiss back. He smiled and turned his back on me, heading for the door. “Wait!” I whispered fiercely. “When will I see you again?”

“As soon as possible. Don’t worry, you’ll know,” he hinted.

“Another note?” I guessed.

He smirked. “Of course.”

I smiled. He turned back around and opened the huge wooden doors, silently slipping out of the dorm. I sighed and headed for the stairs. But before I could put my foot down on the first step, a shadowy figure slinked out from behind the staircase.

“Who the hell was that?” a snobby, nasally voice asked. I jumped and looked around to see where the voice was coming from. I saw a girl, about my height, with straight, pitch-black hair and tanned skin walking towards me. She was wearing a plaid miniskirt and tight-fitting tank top, curious clothing for the dead of winter.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“Rebecca Milain. But I think the more important question is who was that guy, and what were you doing with him?”

“That’s none of your business,” I said, as I stalked off toward the stairs, getting panicky.

“Maybe not.” She shrugged. “But I could very easily make it the Headmistress’s business. I’m sure she’d love to know of your little midnight outing,” Rebecca threatened.

I sighed. There was nothing I could do to avoid telling her. “He’s a friend I knew before. We just met up and hung out,” I lied.

“Sure,” she snorted. “What’s his name?”

“Ryan,” I sighed.

“Ryan what?” Was she taking notes or something?

“Schilling,” I muttered.

“And your name is?”

“Emma Garett,” I told her reluctantly. I only cooperated because I really did not want her ratting us out. Although, I suddenly realized I was giving her the exact information she would need if she decided she was going to. Nice work, Emma, I thought sarcastically to myself.

“Okay. That’s all,” Rebecca said, a little too sweetly, then turned and walked up the stairs. I followed a good distance behind. Naturally, she got off on LEVEL I, as I continued up the stairway for another four flights. When I finally reached LEVEL IV, I pushed the door open and walked into the warm common room. The fire was still crackling and spewing. I looked at the clock on my phone. 12:36 AM.

I walked over to the table below the notice board and set the map back on the top of the pile. I put the green candle on the table where I’d found it, then turned and walked over to the fireplace. I plopped into one of the cushiony chairs and let the flames warm me. I stared into them for the longest time, thinking about my encounter with Rebecca. Did she really have the power to inform Ms. Lunding of Ryan and me? Would the headmistress believe her, either way? I hoped Rebecca wouldn’t tell anyone, because if she did, Ryan and I would be in huge trouble. We had to be more careful from now on. We had to be sneakier and always watch our backs. I made a mental note to—next time I saw him—tell Ryan about Rebecca. I was pretty sure he’d be able to come up with a better plan than I would have, to sneak around more effectively.

Eventually I let my mind drift away from Rebecca and thought about going to school tomorrow. I assumed we had class tomorrow—but no one had really said anything and I didn’t have a schedule. I figured I would find out in the morning, one way or another, so I didn’t worry too much about that…

I thought about Michael, and how his eyes were Vampire green, how he was super pale (despite the fact that he lived in Southern California for four years of his life) and how the sun seemed to irritate his skin, just like it irritated mine. I wondered if he could possibly be going through the same type of messed up transformation as me…

I wondered when I would see Ryan again; I hoped it would be soon. I really needed to tell him about the Rebecca incident and about Michael. And, honestly, I just wanted to see him again. I’d missed Ryan so much over the past couple of days. I could hardly stand being away from him, which scared me.

I thought back to our reunion under the eastern tower and that annoying, rational voice popped back into my head. Take it slow, Emma, it warned. Don’t jump into things too quickly. Geez, I really wished that voice would just go away. This is wrong. Be careful, Emma.

Shut up, already! I tried to block all practicality from my mind for the time being, getting annoyed. I didn’t want to take it slow. I wanted to jump into things. I knew this was wrong, but I didn’t care. What Ryan and I had was real. And I didn’t want to be careful! I wanted to do what I wanted, when I wanted, and act on my true feelings and emotions and not have a stupid little voice of reason in the back of my mind telling me I was doing things wrong! I can do this however I want, I argued with the voice. Ryan and I are doing perfectly fine the way we are, I told myself.

Are you? asked the voice of reason.

Weren’t we?