7.DECISIONS

Ryan didn’t move. I slowly backed away and opened my eyes. I let my hand drop from his cheek. Ryan had closed his eyes, too, and still had them closed, after I’d opened mine. I waited a couple of seconds to see what his reaction was going to be. When he opened his eyes, I could see a fire blazing behind the always-present emotional barrier. Then he blinked and the barrier was gone completely. He leaned toward me, closing the distance between us faster than I had. I leaned in and pressed my lips once more to his. I could tell that this kiss was not going to be hesitant and gentle like the first one had been. My lips parted, and so did his. I still had my right hand on Ryan’s neck, and I moved my left back to his cheek. I pulled him closer to me, and he didn’t hesitate. He twisted around some so he was more on his side, and put his right hand against the small of my back, pulling me closer with every breath and movement. The scent, the taste, of his breath was sweetly intoxicating, and I never wanted to taste or smell anything else, ever again.

My heart was beating so fast, I thought it was going to burst out of my chest. Ryan and I were pressed tightly to one another, fitting perfectly together like two pieces of a puzzle. I wished for this closeness, this passion, to never end. But, like all good things, it had to.

We finally pulled apart. Both of us sat there, still holding each other, staring at each other, breathing heavy. I dropped my hands from Ryan’s cheek and neck and rested my forehead on his chest. Even without my ear pressed against it, I could hear his heart pounding like a drum, just like mine was. We sat like that for a while, calming our heartbeats and our breathing. Eventually, Ryan leaned back and lied flat on the floor. He had not let me go, so I had no choice but to lie next to him, which suited me just fine.

He turned his head and whispered in my ear, “That was a bad idea.”

“Why?” I asked, without looking at him. I knew the reason, though.

“You know why,” he said.

“Yeah,” I answered, reluctantly.

“Because now I don’t think I’ll be able to ever let you go.” He squeezed me tighter.

That didn’t bother me in the least. I was perfectly content with Ryan holding me for the rest of eternity, as I’m sure he was too, at the moment. I squished myself into his side some more, despite the fact that I was already a little cold. It didn’t matter to me if Ryan was ten degrees or one hundred and ten degrees. I wanted to be as close to him as was physically possible. I didn’t want to ever let him go, either. I rested my left hand on his chest. He had both of his arms wrapped around me, forming an inescapable grasp—not that I was trying to escape, regardless.

“Is that necessarily a bad thing?” I asked.

He chuckled. “I suppose it probably should be. However,” He hesitated.

“However?” I probed.

“However, I personally, don’t have a problem with it.”

I smiled. “Me either.”

He kissed my hair, then said, “We need to talk about something.”

I sighed. “Yeah.”

“I was thinking,” he began. “that maybe I would just come back tonight.”

“Would that work?” I asked.

“Well, I would give you the same amount of venom as I planned on last night, it would just be twenty-four hours late.”

“I guess there really isn’t much else we could do, right?” I asked.

“Not unless you want to forget about the fourth day of transformation entirely.”

“Yeah…that probably wouldn’t be such a good idea.”

“I agree. If completing the transformation a day late doesn’t cause problems, I know that not completing it at all will. So we better just stick to the plan as close as we can.”

“Okay,” I agreed. There wasn’t anything further to discuss. Except… “Uh, Ryan?”

“Yes?”

“Well, I was thinking,” I began hesitantly. He waited silently. “Well, do you think, maybe—I mean, I was just wondering if, well, do you think I could be awake for the final injection?”

I turned my head so I could look into his eyes. I could tell he wanted so badly to say no, so I explained further.

“Well, if something does go wrong, I’ll be awake to tell you. You know, like if my heart stops or something. You’ll know I’m not just sleeping, so you’ll know it’s serious.”

I could see that he was considering it.

“Emma, that is a good idea—in theory. But, do you remember how painful it was when you were half-asleep? Imagine how painful it would be if you were fully awake and conscious?”

“I don’t care,” I argued. “I think it’s a good idea.”

Ryan gave me a look of skepticism.

“Seriously, think about it.” I continued. “Since you skipped a day,” A look of pain shot across his face. I guess he was still tender about the whole “falling asleep” thing. “I mean, since we’re going to be doing this out of order, and since that leaves the potential for something to go wrong, I think I should be awake, in case something does. That way you’ll know it right away.”

He looked away, up at the ceiling, thinking. I could tell that my logic was working on him. This made sense. And he knew it.

“Fine,” he sighed. “But we’ll have to be really careful. You will have to control yourself at all times. I’ll be paying attention to make sure nothing is going wrong, so I won’t be able to restrain you, or silence you, like usual.” He looked at me.

“I’ll be good,” I promised.

“Remember, Emma, on the last night of transformation I inject the most venom of all the nights. Usually it would be the most painful—for a newborn that is progressing normally. But, since this case is different, I’m not sure how painful, or not, it will be for you.” He gave me a look that said, ‘You can still back out if you want to.’

“Well then, we’ll just have to wait and see—or feel really.” I said.

He sighed. “Well then, I guess it’s settled. You should probably sleep until I arrive. I’ll wake you up when I get there.”

“Promise?” I asked.

“Promise,” he said, then kissed my forehead. I smiled.

Ryan sighed and rested his head on top of mine.

“Are you still tired?” I asked.

“No. Not really. I could probably due with another couple of hours—to fully recover, but that’s okay. It’s not vitally important.”

“Well, it’s only…”I sat up, reluctantly, not wanting to extricate myself from his arms. I crawled over to my cell phone and flipped it open. “…about two o’clock. You could stay here longer if you need to.” I hoped desperately that he would need to, and that he would want me to stay too; because I knew I wanted to. “I’m pretty sure no one will find you.” I was careful not to say we. I didn’t want to sound too clingy, especially if he didn’t want me to stay.

“What if I want someone to find me?” he asked. Huh? What was he talking about?

He looked at me with a meaningful expression on his face, then glanced down at the floor next to him, and back at me.

I smiled and crawled back over to him, realizing what he meant. I curled up next to him and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. He looked down at me. “I think I’ll stay here a while longer,” he said. I sighed. I hoped he wasn’t implying something. “As long as you stay here with me,” he added. I smiled, giddy. The butterflies I had gotten in my stomach before I had kissed him, had never really settled. They assiduously flapped their little annoying, giddy wings, refusing to let me be calm. Not that I was ever completely calm when I was around Ryan, but still.

We lied there in perfect serenity, just enjoying the moment. This was the happiest I’d been in a long time. I mean, I was pretty much happy (to an extent) whenever I was around Ryan, but here, in his arms, knowing that he cared for me (hopefully as much as I cared for him), I couldn’t help but wish it would never end.

After about ten minutes or so, Ryan drifted off to sleep again. I could feel his rhythmic breathing, hear the steady beat of his heart. It was perfect. There was no place in the whole world I would have preferred to be. Eventually, I too, drifted off to sleep—perfectly content in my creator’s arms.

I was in my room. It was dark. I was lying on my bed. Ryan was standing over me. “It’s time,” he said. He leaned forward. I hoped he was going to kiss me again. Suddenly, he pulled me towards him, embraced me, and bit the back of my neck. I screamed in pain. Ryan ignored me and kept injecting venom into my body. It hurt so bad. I thought I was dying.

“Ryan, stop!” I shouted. But he didn’t. He just kept on ignoring my screams, my pain. “Ryan, I’m dying!” But he made no attempt to save me. Once he finally pulled away, I sat there looking at him. Why hadn’t he tried to save me? “I was dying, Ryan,” I said.

“I know,” he replied. What?

“Don’t you care?” I asked.

“Why should I?” he replied.

“Don’t you love me?” I asked him.

“Why would I?” he asked.

Then, I died. I felt my heart stop beating, and my legs could no longer hold me up. I fell over, but not onto the floor. I fell into Ryan’s arms.

“Emma, no!” he shouted. Even though I was dead, I was confused. I thought he didn’t care about me.

Ryan chuckled. “I told you there would be consequences, Emma,” he said.

I gasped, waking up in a cold sweat. Ryan looked down at me.

“Emma, are you okay?” he asked.

I nodded my head. “I had a really weird dream—that’s all,” I explained.

“What was it about?” he asked.

I didn’t know if I should tell him, or if that would just worry him. I decided that honesty was probably the best policy. “I died,” I said.

“How?” he asked.

“When you injected me with more venom.”

He sighed, worried. I knew it. “Anything else?” he asked.

I decided that I could be honest and still leave out the part about him not stopping when I said I was dying, and laughing and telling me there would be consequences, after I died. He didn’t need to know that.

“No. I guess I’m just sort of nervous about tonight.”

“Yeah, me too,” he agreed. I could see the worry in his eyes. And I’m sure he could see the same thing in mine.

“What time is it?” I asked, changing the subject.

“No idea,” he answered.

I sat up and reached for my cell phone. I laid back down before opening it. It read: 5:42 PM

“We should probably go,” I said. “I told my dad I wouldn’t be gone too late.” I looked at Ryan, assessing his condition. “Did you get enough sleep?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied. “I’m perfectly well-rested now.”

I smiled. “Okay, then, let’s go.”

He got up, then held out his hand for me. I took it gladly, letting him pull me up. He grabbed the blankets and the pillow and walked them back into the prop room. I gathered my bag and boots, not even bothering to put them back on. When Ryan came out from backstage, he walked up to me, snaked his arm around my waist, and began leading me out of the auditorium. I thought that maybe he was making up for this morning. But I didn’t care one way or another—as long as he was holding me, I was happy.

When we reached the end of the aisle, he flipped off the lights and opened the door. We walked through it, side by side. We walked down the main hallway to the broken window. When we got there, he stared at it.

“Did you do this?” he asked, nodding towards the torn-off boards.

“Well, you know, you couldn’t exactly crawl through a window, this morning, without falling on your face, so I had to do something,” I explained.

He smiled at me, then released me (to my great dismay) and ushered me through first. He followed soon after and grabbed me again. We walked to the car. When we got there, he asked me if I wanted him to drive.

“You don’t have to,” I said.

“Well, actually, I was kind of hoping you’d let me,” he confessed. “I haven’t driven in a while, and I kind of miss it.”

I laughed. “Well, if you haven’t driven in a while, maybe that would be a bad idea,” I teased.

He smirked at me, pulled me around to the passenger’s side, and opened the door for me. I sighed and slid in. He walked back around to the other side, got in, and looked at me.

“Keys?” he asked me. I reluctantly pulled them out of my bag and handed them to him.

“Don’t you trust me?” he asked, teasingly.

“I’m not sure,” I replied. He chucked.

“Well, we’re just going to have to work on that, then,” he said. Then he started the car, put it into reverse, and sped out of the parking lot backwards. My body thrusted forward, my seatbelt nearly choking me.

“What are you doing?!” I exclaimed.

“Teaching you to trust me,” he explained.

“By doing what?” I asked. “Killing us?”

“Very funny, Emma,” he muttered. He skidded into the road, quickly putting the car in drive and turning it in the right direction. He sped down the streets, the speedometer getting closer to sixty every second.

“Ryan, what the hell?!” I yelled at him. “Slow down!”

“Emma, we’re going to be fine. It’s not like there’s anyone else on this road right now anyway. And it’s not like we’d die if we crashed, so don’t worry about it.”

“What do you mean, we wouldn’t die if we crashed? We could,” I argued.

“Emma, we can’t. Vampires can only be killed by Caduto Angelos.”

I stared at him in shock.

“Didn’t I tell you that?” he asked, hesitantly.

“No,” I informed him.

“Oh, well, now you know,” he said simply. I felt like he was regretting telling me, and was trying to avoid discussing it further.

“So the only way for a Vampire to die, is for a Caduto Angelo to kill them?” I asked.

He sighed, reluctant. “Yes. Or for another Vampire to kill them. But that rarely happens. No one wants to unintentionally give the Cadutos a lead.”

“A lead in what?” I asked.

“A lead in the war. Think about it. If the Cadutos are going to try to kill off Vampires, and the Vampires are going to try to kill off Cadutos, then why would a Vampire want to kill another Vampire? It would be utterly negligent and harmful to our fight. It’s the same with the Angelos. Caduto Angelos rarely kill other Caduto Angelos.”

I guess that made sense. Duh.

“It’s not like humans, Emma. Vampires and Angelos rarely kill their own species.”

“So then, is there really no way I’ll die tonight?” I inquired, optimistic.

“Well, Emma, you could still die tonight,” Ryan informed me. “Because you’re not yet a full Vampire. The venom could have a strange effect on you tonight, since it will be late. So you could still die.”

I looked at him, confused. “But you just said I wouldn’t die from a car crash. If I’m not a full Vampire yet, couldn’t I still die from a crash?”

“But since you’re very nearly a fully Vampire, it would be highly unlikely that you would die from something as petty and human as a car crash.”

I was still a bit confused. I continued staring at him with a questioning look on my face.

“I know,” he said. “It’s complicated.” Is that right? I thought, sarcastically, then realized I was thinking sarcastic comments about my own death—I shuddered—that couldn’t have been a good sign.

* * *

Since we had been going so fast, we arrived at my house in less than two minutes.

Ryan parked my car in its usual parking place in front of the curb. I grabbed my snow boots and bag, then opened my door and got out, and Ryan did the same. I worried for a second about my dad seeing Ryan, but a quick glance at the house told me that all the front drapes were closed, so I didn’t have to worry about it.

Ryan met me at the back of the car. He put his arms around my waist, pulling me close. My heart sped up. He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips, and my bones turned to mush.

He pulled away and released me. Then said, “Don’t forget, Emma, your letter for Arborson is coming today. Make sure you convince your dad that you need to go.”

“What if he says no?” I asked.

“It’ll be taken care of. Emma, one way or another, you’ll be going to Arborson. We just prefer that the parents have free-will over making their decision.”

That confused me a little, but I didn’t say anything. I decided it really wasn’t a big deal.

“I’ll come back later tonight for the transformation.”

I grimaced, thinking back to my dream.

“Don’t worry, Emma. Everything will be fine,” Ryan assured. I wanted so badly to believe him. I started walking toward the house, leaving Ryan standing on the driveway.

“Emma?” he called. I tuned around. “I know it may sound kind of morbid,” Ryan began. “But, uh, I hope you enjoyed your last day as a human,” he finished, shyly.

I smiled. Then a thought occurred to me. Instead of just saying, “Yeah, I did”, I turned back around, then spun on my heel and ran toward him, going for an old-fashioned, “Run into the kiss” scene that you always saw in the movies about forbidden lovers.

I was about two feet away from him, when I hit a patch of ice. I skidded forward and he caught me before I hit the hard, icy driveway. My face turned beet-red. I groaned.

“Nice,” he muttered. I continued blushing scarlet. Sure—I thought—The little blood I do have left has decided to remain in my cheeks. Great.

“Well, I was going for something a little more graceful,” I informed him.

“It doesn’t matter how you come to me, Emma,” Ryan said. “As long as you do.” Then he leaned down and kissed me once more.

I smiled at him and he said, “You’d better go, now. Your dad might have heard the car and be wondering where you are.”

“Oh, right,” I said, flustered, finally remembering my dad.

He released me and I turned around and headed toward my house. I walked up the front steps and quietly opened the door. I walked in, setting my boots down and trying to sneak up to my room before my dad saw me. I wasn’t looking forward to discussing the whole Arborson thing. So, the longer I could put it off, the better. I made it to the fourth step when my dad called me.

“Hey, Em?”

I sighed and backtracked down the stairs. My dad was in the living room—as per usual— watching TV.

“Yeah, Dad?”

“Did you have fun today?”

I remembered my note on the whiteboard. “Yeah,” I said, simply.

“That’s good.”

It didn’t seem like he was going to say anything else, so I left him and walked back up the stairs and into my room. I set my bag down on my desk. I didn’t know what else I could do, so—completely against my better judgment—I went back downstairs. I avoided my dad, though, walking into the kitchen where I was greeted by Oscar.

“Mleup!”

“Hey buddy,” I said, as I got his food out. I scooped him some supper, then got him some fresh water.

I wandered back toward the stairs, but my dad called me again.

“Emma?”

I reluctantly walked back into the living room. “Yeah Dad?”

“I just made a sandwich for dinner, but there’s some leftover cheese and meat in there if you want it,” he informed me.

“No thanks, Dad. I ate at Laina’s,” I lied, brilliantly.

“Oh, okay,” he said.

I turned back around, hoping he was done and headed for the stairs once again.

“Emma?” he called. Crap.

“Yeah Dad?” I asked, hesitantly, knowing where this was going.

“I forgot to tell you before. You got a letter today.”