I laid back on the bed, reading the back of the condom box. Then I eventually set it aside. Josh was trying to scare me, and it was working. I was just at the age where I still felt like a kid but I had to start growing up too. A kid going into the unknown, scary. An adult going into the unknown, scary but necessary. Was I really grown up enough to handle this?
Josh obviously knew that he shouldn't just straight out tell me not to do it, because I knew as well as him that I would turn to Nicholas just to piss him off. I'd never had to try too hard. Josh had been the perfect parent for the past three years.
Our parents had moved to China, and I didn't want to go. So Josh had stayed here, so I could stay. He made a lot of sacrifices for me, was always understanding and listened to me, took care of me when I was sick or sad. And how was I repaying him?
I felt horribly guilty and I quickly grabbed the box and shoved it into the drawer. I couldn't do this. I ran downstairs, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Nicholas." I sobbed.
He stood up from where he was sitting by Reece on the couch. "What's wrong?"
"I want Josh." I cried. "I want my brother."
Nicholas came towards me but I backed away. I didn't want him touching me. "Go call him." I whispered.
He nodded then went to find a phone. I walked over to the couch, looked at Reece. He held his arms out and I sat down on his lap and leaned into him. "I know, Zac." he murmured, rubbing my arms. "It'll be okay. You know you don't have to do anything until you're ready."
"I don't want to disappoint Josh." I whispered. "If I do this he'll never forgive me."
"Hey, this is Josh we're talking about here. You could kill a man and he'd still think you were perfect."
I sobbed again. "You're just saying that."
"No, I'm not. Because I feel the same way. You're like my little sister too you know, in a way. You think I don't want to kill Nick either? All I know is he makes you happy. Well, we can make you happy if you'll let him. You don't have to know everything Zac. That's what family is for. To help out. Josh is not going to be mad at you. But if he comes home and sees you crying like this he's going to be upset."
"I can't help it. I feel so guilty."
"Josh is on his way home." Nick said, coming back into the room. He looked kind of hurt when he saw me hugging Reece.
I hid my face in Reece's shirt, the kid that I was. I had to hear it from Josh. He had to tell me himself that he wasn't mad. And I knew he might not tell me that. Josh didn't lie.
(A/N: If you want me to update you, then comment. I DO NOT go to past chapters and update those readers. So I apologize, but if you do not comment on the most recent chapter, I will not update. I would like to say I appreciate all comments and all the patience of my readers. And again I'm sorry for the delay...but if I updated you then you know why. Thank you for your patience.)