T "n" A
Nothing in my life was going my way, at that particular moment that is. My girlfriend pretty much hated me (keep in mind this is the girl I worship and LOVE), Chris was probably going to be her prom date (oh joy!) and well I kinda hated me too.
I lie on my back, looking blankly up at the ceiling thinking through, well everything. What kind of boyfriend reads his girlfriends most private and inner thoughts and thinks he can get away with it, that boyfriend is me, Brandon Damien Wolfe the second did that-in case you're wondering my dad felt like his son should have the same name as him but my mom dropped it so not many people know my real name is Brandon, who would even want a name like that-I am an incompetent fool. It had only been 20 minutes and I was slowly becoming insane, I've never been more in love with someone and I may have just screwed that up.
One thing that messed me up, Sunday evening's dinner, she had to be there. Sunday marked the day my dad would try to regain the love I once had for him. Sure she could still come, but the tension would have been outrageous, everyone would be able to sense the bad vibes, but not only between me and Alyssa but between me and my dad. Alyssa knows I cannot stand him at all, and for me to pretend that everything is fine, is totally wrong because everything isn't fine. She's the only one that can stop me from blowing up at him.
But one other thing crossed my mind, I needed Alyssa more than anything, she made me happy, I haven't been happy since I was 14, that's was a while ago. Everyone including myself knows she needs me. She once told me I saved her life, I am the reason she can live today. Everyday I thought about it, and you can't even understand what kind of a burden it is to carry on your back, knowing someone would have committed suicide if it weren't for you…but does that mean if something were to happen to me or us would that mean her life would be force to stop? No it shouldn't imply that, but what if it does?
"Here" Alyssa said softly handing me the house phone. She was there and gone in a blink of an eye. This was more serious than I thought it would be.
I put the phone up to my ear kind of curious to know who it was, hoping it wasn't Alice 'cuz well that would be seriously fucked.
"Damien," there was a long pause. "Why?" Ashanti sounded worried, she never sounded worried I knew she cared about her sister but evidently she was worried about me too.
"Ash, why are you asking? You know, you know," I replied stating the obvious.
"Okay so maybe I know, like wow oh and Jason says hi…also Dame what about prom?" she asked.
"Oh that's a shocker, I didn't know he liked me, tell him I say hi too and what about it?" I wasn't really planning on going to prom from the dawn of time.
"Will do and DAMIEN ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, RIGHT? YOU ARE GOING!!" she screamed into the phone, I think I might need a hearing aid now.
"I don't think I can go…why shou-who would I go-why-no," I responded.
"Ah, Damien!-except "Damien" sounded more like "Dame-yan" rather than "Dame-ee-n"-I dun know, we can still go as a group, maybe you'll find a date by then, I, I just want you there," aaaaaaaaaaaw she wanted me there well maybe I'll go.
"Only 'cuz you want me there I'll think about it, anyways Damien gotta go bed, bye," I said.
"Ashanti wants to know why Damien is talking in third person, anyways bye Wolfe," she said giggling.
I woke up to the rays of sunlight leaking through my bedroom window, quite content and then I remembered Alyssa hated me, I hated me, and my dream prom was just ruined.
"Shit," I groaned into my pillow, it was exactly 20 minutes before school started and because I wasn't a townie and I lived in the farmland of Thornlea, which made everything remote, school was 20 minutes away(speeding). But something shocked me, Alyssa was still here, I could kind of sense where she is, why? Why is she here I mean?
I jumped out of bed put on a new pair of boxers, slid on a grey Hollister hoody, plaid shorts and a pair of converses (checkered black and white with pink laces, loving the gay in me)-this was so wrong though I couldn't even take my shower, thank GOD I had P.E. today-and dashed out my room. Angela would kill me if she knew I was leaving the house like this, every morning she makes sure I take a shower and that I look good.
As soon as I reached the kitchen I stuffed a chewy bar down my throat and grabbed a big container of strawberry yogurt from the fridge-I kind of love my yogurt, I have it every morning-then wrote a note for Angela.
Won't be back til nine
Gonna take 2 hrs off of work
To just relax and think
-Luv you're fav person
I darted through the door, wanting not to see her, at all. But you can't escape from everyone because in my drive-way was Chris and he couldn't be quiet about it either, he was blasting Sexy Can I like there was no tomorrow. He looked at me and looking worried; I was getting a lot of these worries lately.
"Dame, what did you do?" Like he didn't know, Alyssa probably told him all about it last night. I just looked at him pissed off, he obviously knew.
"Dude, don't give me that look, I seriously don't even know, she just called me like 10 minutes and fucking expected me to come get her, I was like what the fuck?" he explained. "Also, I feel sorry for you both, you guys are so cute and I hate to see you both hurting and…I have someone else on my mind so I won't be making a move for her, just thought you should know." Wait. He didn't like her anymore. Wow.
"Oh, I should meet this girl, well I gotta go…tell Alyssa to lock up, so see you at school," I said.
"Yeah, see ya," I think he took that as his cue to once again blast his music, Chris was disturbing the quite peaceful country…THANK YOU CHRIS!!
I tried avoiding everyone at school, but as you can guess that did not work for me, everyone bothered me and then there was Alice she was…she was there, she wasn't lying she was serious when she said she'd see me at school. I was talking to Noel at my locker when I saw her walk by.
- "2 more weeks of school and then we have the fucking exams, which do you think will be the hardest?" Noel asked.
"Since you have the creep Rathburn, I think that will be you're hardest exam, but all my teachers are deff so I think I'm good, good luck with that by the way…the majority of Rathburn's class is going to fail that test and we're supposed to be our city's elite?" I explained.
"So true, I'm gonna bo-but then my brain did the weirdest thing it blocked out Noel and my eyes watched Alice walk, no, speed past us.
"No, I think I'll talk to you later, there's something I gotta take care of, sorry I gotta go," I interrupted.
"Okay" He seemed lost and confused, you could read it all over his face it said "Dude, I was fucking talking, why the hell did you cut me off?" But whatever he's not the king of wherever.
She spun on around on her heel, her long hazelnut brown hair whipped around with her and cheerfully said "Oh hiya Damien-except she said it like "Dame-yan"-what's up?"
"Besides my gf hating me I'm good," I responded quite happily, you're not supposed to be happy when you're girlfriend hates you.
"I heard about that, are you okay?" she asked.
"I think I can manage," I responded.
"Well that's good…umm, what are you doing tonight?" she asked, that was actually a really weird question.
"Uh, nothing really," I responded.
"Oh, good, I would go over to Tiffany and tell her but I'm kind of busy at the moment, do you mind telling her we're hanging out tonight?" Alice asked, she just made plans without me even saying anything.
"Umm, okay, but wear shorts and a tank top, I was actually planning on going to the beach tonight. And it'll be hot tonight so I think you're good," I explained, I needed a say in this somehow.
"Okay, well see ya tonight at 7:30 you're house," she said cheerfully and loudly but a bit to loud because Noel and Jason (yes Jason, I didn't even know he had a life outside of Ashanti) came up to me and said "Who's she" and not in the nice-Damien-you're-already-going-to-hook-up-with-a-girl kind of tone but the let-her-off-easy-you-can't-go-out-with-her tone.
"Dad's worker, she does a lot of day planning for him," I explained.
"Okay…so, my cousin gets pissed off at you, and you're already hooking up with girls, you're not even officially broken up" then he looked at me and quickly said. "Not that you guys are going to break up." Nice save.
"Whatever. But I don't think it's considered a hook up if a twelve year-old gonna be there, that's just rape, no molestation," I explained, if I couldn't even have sex with my girlfriend what makes them think I'll have sex with some girl I just met yesterday.
"Oh, okay," said Noel, with a breath of relief. Then he looked at me and gave me what-are-you-doing-with-my-sister look.
"Hanging and I gotta go talk to her so see you later, much later," I said and then ran off.
When school goes from pre-k to grade 12 the amount of parts to the building in which you are educated in is ridiculous. This was so confusing, my brain had never hurt so much in my entire life, and how the hell was I supposed to find Tiffany? After 20 minutes of wasting my lunch, I found a kid who looked like he was in grade 8 and asked him "Hey, kid with the blonde flippity-dippity hair, do you know Tiffany Kahnan," I asked.
"Know her, I no we worship her, she's like you're Alyssa, do you know Tiffany?" he asked. What the hell I just asked him if he knew her, out of all the people I could have picked, I picked an idiot, of course I knew her.
"Yes I know her, where is she?" I asked sounding pissed of.
"In the cafeteria, she'll be at the middle table, can't miss her, just keep walking straight and you'll see the cafeteria." He explained.
I jogged towards mini-Thornlea cafeteria and idiot boy was right, she was in the middle and it looked as if people bowed down to her. It was actually kind of funny Tiffany was in grade 6 (looked like she was in grade10) and everyone from grades 6-8 praised her, that's slightly disturbing.
I walked into the cafeteria and everyone dropped their forks, was I a god? Oh yes I am a senior, who has just walked into middle school territory, that never happens. People started whispering, staring, pointing etc. they were worse than my classmates.
But since I'm the I-don't-care-you-can-talk-about-me kind of person I am, I just walked towards Tiffany, I kinda felt, I don't know, how I felt I was asking a 12 year old to chill with me that comes across to me as well pathetic. I looked at Tiffany once more and I noticed something she looked just like Alyssa except darker in skin tone. She had long dark brown hair, green eyes, dimples and well, now I feel like a rapist or a perv because she has a nice bod for a girl in 6th grade.
"Tiff, can I talk to you, away from these people," I said I kind of annoyed, were we like this in grade 6 through 8.
"Oh, hey Damien, uh sure," she said smiling and the best smile award goes to Tiffany Kahnan.
"Why can't a senior talk to me"
"I officially hate you Tiff"
"Quite subtle friends you have here," I said making sure they heard me.
"Yeah, but I love 'em," she said still flashing a smile.
"Well let's go, I need to get back to my part of Thornlea," I said but it came out more like. "WellletsgoIneedtogetbacktomypartofThornlea."
She got up from her high throne and I slowly tagged behind the queen, but as we walked out you could people say some hurtful things.
These people were really mean, how can you say that about a person and not even know what is going on.
As soon as we exited the lunchroom her smile disappeared and something like panic and worry flashed across her face. "You don't think I'm a slut do you?"
"God no, Tiff there's no way I would think you are a slut. In case you haven't noticed you're the only one who is covered in there, and they know that, besides they are just jealous because you can get a seniors attention," I assured her. "And I need to get this off my chest but I feel incredibly white beside you."
A smile cracked across her face and she chuckled a bit. "Well I feel incredibly dark beside you; it's hard to believe Chris is your cousin."
"I know I've been told many times…anyways the real reason I ventured down to middle school town is I wanted to know what you were doing tonight?" I asked, but she didn't blush like last night but she sure did look happy, I didn't know someone could be so overwhelmed with joy.
"Um, well I'm doing nothing, I don't really do social life after school, it's all homework for me but I think I can make a few exceptions for my number one friend," she said still smiling, I wish I could smile like that. Who knew someone who'd lost their aunt to a car accident and there father to alcohol (meaning alcohol now ran his life) could be so darn happy.
"Okey dokey, well Alice will be there too, actually she set the whole thing up, I think she really wants to meet you, umm you can sleep over too, my nanny Angela will take care of you," I explained. "Oh and before I forget wear shorts and a tank, we're going to the beach."
"Oh, okay, and ask Alice to sleepover too okay?" Then she stuck her pinkie out and said "promise"
I then linked pinkies with her and whispered "promise" in her ear.
"Dame, before you go I have a question," she exclaimed.
"There's this guy, I really like and I confirmed this on Friday especially since he asked me out, and I said I'd get back to him by the end of the day but he's older than me and Noel is super protective," she explained. "What do you propose I should do?"
"How old are we talking here?" I asked.
"Grade 8, and he goes here," she responded.
"I think you should say yes, only because he goes to this school, I have a question before you say yes actually 2 questions," I said.
"Okay I'm ready," she shrieked.
"Well first one is does he make you happy?" I asked I kind of felt like a proud dad to see his baby girl have her first boyfriend.
"Oh, Damien you wouldn't even imagine, even though I'm always happy, he makes my smile even brighter, and I didn't think that was possible." She said gazing into the lunch room, he was obviously in there.
"Ok, good and when he looks at you has does it make you feel?" I asked.
"Wow. Okay I don't even know if I can explain it, my legs get all goopy and my heart starts to like it's going to melt and I like feel like I'm on like one of those crazed rollercoaster's and then your stomach gets all like weak but its beautiful," she said still gazing into the cafeteria, I noticed one thing she said like a lot when she talked about him.
"Shit, Ah!! I'm gonna be late," I said. "Oh my god you didn't need to hear that at all well see you at 7:30 tonight we'll pick you up, bye," and with that I ran.
I heard a faint bye Damien off in the distance though.
So it was on Tiff, Alice and I was going to the beach, I knew what would happen, I would spill my guts out to them 'cuz well I'm that kind of person.
"Damien, someone is here to see you, she's awfully pretty!" yelled Angela. The thing about having a 23 yr old nanny she wasn't afraid to say anything, and then her and that person would talk for hours about everything, everything meaning everything about me.
"Who is she?" Alyssa said appearing before me, with a tub of MY yogurt-that's my daily breakfast, it costs money what is she doing-seriously though she needed to stop appearing out of nowhere.
"Why do you care?" I asked, bitch move.
"I don't think, it's just that, its weird okay?" she said, why was she even talking to me?
"I didn't think you'd have a girl here already, you know what, why am I even talking to you?" she asked.
"Dun no, well goodbye I have a friend waiting for me," I said hoping it was Alice at the door I kind of enjoyed making Alyssa jealous.
I dashed down the stairs, to see my "date", and luckily it was Alice.
"Damien!!" she yelled except it sounded more like "Dame-yan!!" That's when I realized that's how Alice always pronounces my name.
"Hey Alice," and then I hugged her, and out of the corner of my eye I could see Alyssa, looking well worried. Don't get me wrong I care about her feelings 'cuz I do but I need her to need me more than anything.
Alice did a little spin for me "how do I look?" she asked.
"You look amazing," which wasn't a lie. She was incredibly pretty she had a tanned complexion but I think that's all natural, light brown eyes and long, straight brown hair, which was parted in the center.
She was wearing a TNA tank top but you could see the bikini top under and jean short-shorts, she was hot. What surprised me was she was wearing black converses with blue laces I said we were going to the beach. Then I looked down at my feet I wasn't any better I had on the same black converses except with green laces (neon green, it was crazy bright but so were her laces they were bright blue).
"Well I think we should go the beach awaits us," I said with a smile.
"Umm, no….Damien you have on a hoody, shouldn't you wear a tank or a t-shirt?" she said, stating the obvious.
"I know what I'm doing let's go," I said quickly before Alyssa caught on, I knew she was a sucker for my body and this was kind of mean, she didn't need to know I was going shirtless.
"Well this is the Kahnan residence, they're farmies like you and me, that's cool," she said in awe.
"Yep, you see that red barn off to the side, every year his family holds a jam/party there for the long weekend, I went to my first one this year it's pretty sick," I answered.
"Oh, wait, is he having one when we are in our Ivy League universities?" she said, oops what a big mistake, did she not know I couldn't afford that. Then she looked at me, and panic rushed all over her face. "Oh my god! Dame-yan, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot you probably can't afford to get in, ohmygodi'msuchabadpersonDame-yanididn'tmeanit,!" she shrieked.
I smiled looked at her and then started laughing, "It's okay Alice, you're so cute when you're nervous I think that'll come in handy when you have a boyfriend," I said.
"Whatever, but where were you planning on going?" she asked.
"Yale, me and Alyssa are going there, well if we make-up…but I'll still go there if I can get a scholarship," I explained, "If not University of Thornlea."
"Oh okay, well if everything goes well with Sunday dinner I think you're in," she said. "Well did you get accepted, at least?"
"Yeppers, wait how did you? Are you going to be there? Enough about me, we're running out of time, we need to get Tiffany," I pleaded, this was enough about that I hated talking about University.
"Yes we should, too much talk about us!" she said cheerfully avoiding my question, she was going to be there for sure.
We hopped out of my convertible and walked towards the house. I knocked on the door in about 10 seconds it opened.
"Oh, hey Damien," said Sara.
"Hey, is Tiffany ready?" I asked.
"Yes, she coming and I feel like you don't like me, introduce me to her," she said, oh right Alice was here.
"Oh sorry, uh…Sara this is Alice and Alice this is Sara, Alice is kind of like you just older," I said.
"Interesting, I think we'll be the best of friends," Sara gushed; she was such a peppy person, got to love her.
"Awesome, I was thinking of going shopping with Tiffy do you want to join and then we can bring Damien and Noel to carry our bags and stuff," she said, I was right there, she just volunteered me to hold her bags, Alice does that volunteering thing way too often.
"Yes we should do that," Sara said smiling.
And then Tiffany appeared in Jean short-shorts and a Hollister tank-top(my favourite store) and flip-flops but then she stopped dead in her tracks and started to giggle.
"Oh my god, I'll be right back, you guys are too funny," she said looking at our feet.
"Wow, I didn't even realize we were wearing converses," Alice said.
In about 5 minutes Tiffany appeared, Eric appeared and put her stuff in the car.
"Take good care of my sister Wolfe…you don't want Noel hunting you down," Eric said laughing. So the middle child was the over-protective one, I was seeing what Tiffany meant earlier about Noel being crazy.
After a few more laughs, and then we were off on our road trip to go to my favourite destination.
I took off my hoody, and shoes and ran towards the sand. Once I reached, I fell on my back, it was fun, my mom and I would come here all the time, before we had to see each other in secret. Off in the distant I could hear them say "Oh my god, I didn't know he had a body of a god!" that was Alice. "I knew, he's always coming over to swim, I swear sometimes I want to faint." definitely Tiffany. I just smiled to my self, I love compliments I wonder what my life would have been like if I was with Alyssa from a long time ago.
Alice threw her tank top on my face and said "get up let's go in the water!"
We ran towards the water, jumped in and jumped right back out.
"Fuck its cold!" I exclaimed.
"I know, for a hot day you think the water would be hot, but I froze my fuckin' ass off," exclaimed Tiffany, does Noel know she swears, like Tiffany said earlier he is incredibly protective, but I can't blame him, she looks like she's 15, that's someone ready to get raped…poor girl.
"Well, since you two are going to have a swear off, I think we should just walk around," suggested Alice, that was something I was trying to avoid, because that meant we would have to talk, I didn't want to talk.
We started to walk away from the car and just as I guessed we started to talk and it wasn't me who brought it up, it was Tiffany.
"So Damien, how long do you think you and Alyssa will stay away from each other?"
"Well, uh….I- but then I stopped I could see Alice give Tiffany this look it said "What the hell are you doing, keep Alyssa off his mind"
"Never mind, I have an idea, but we need to go back to the car and get our shoes," said Tiffany, I had an idea of what she was going to do.
We walked back to the car and got our shoes out, I was right, we were going to give each other one of our laces. Alice had blue laces, I had green and she had pink.
I think the chart shows how it works I got one of Alice's laces and one of Tiffany's laces etc. we are one set of intelligent people. I looked down at the shoes on my feet and began to laugh, I had 3 different kind of laces mine, Alice's and Tiffany's I've never traded laces with anyone before.
"Oh.em.gee. We so have to wear our shoes one Monday, and if you people are up to it for the rest of the year!" exclaimed Tiffany.
"Well you already know I could care less, so it's all up to Alice," I said smiling at Alice.
"Fine, I guess it won't kill me to wear the same shoes for the rest of the year, I except I really like wearing my Jimmy Choo's to school …plus my year ends faster than yours," Alice said pointing at Tiffany.
"You are so mean, we should get back though," Tiffany suggested.
"NO!!! We cannot go yet, plus my hair is still wet, I wouldn't want to ruin Damien's beautiful beamer," Alice shouted.
"Listen my mom just loves me a little too much, I get a new car every month, so I could care less, and Tiff's right we should get going," I said agreeing with Tiffany.
We drove home, listening to "Shake It" by Metro Station over and over and over again, we even sang along, while Alice recorded the whole thing on her camera. I think I had some serious fun; it was the most fun I had had in awhile without me breaking down or having Alyssa break down.
"Wave, you're on camera!" Alice squealed. I had to admit, I looked hot I had on beautiful shades, my hair was flying in the wind and I was shirtless.
"Hi!" I yelled waving at the camera. "Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it!" I sang.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAW!!! You're just too cute, keep singing, let me rewind the song and then you can sing the verse with the clothes are so close," she suggested laughing.
"Yeah right, I see facebook and you tube in my near future," I said, laughing.
"Dame, do it, please sing for your number one friend" Tiffany shrieked.
"Fine, I'll do it," I said smiling I was gonna sing it anyways I just wanted to see what they would do.
Alice rewound it to one of the most sexual part of the song and counted down from three and then played it.
"Your lips tremble but your eyes are in a straight stare
We're on the bed but your clothes are laying right there
And I was thinking of places that I could hide
Tonight you're falling in love (let me go now)
The feelings stirring me (here we go now)" I sang never again and now that it was on camera no one had to see it again.
"Yay you, you did it perfectly, but you are right I am so posting this on facebook, to let the world know that Brandon Damien Wolfe II is an awesome singer," she exclaimed. I was about to question how the hell she knew my whole name but I remembered she worked for my dad of course she knew.
"Brandon?" asked Noel as we pulled into my drive-way.
"Oh my God! Am I really that loud, and the music was blasting too, wow!" Alice exclaimed.
"Yeah you are, anyways we need to talk, Damien" he said, then he looked at my face, then he looked at my bare chest, looked at Alice and then looked at his sister.
"Where did you guys go?" he asked.
"To the beach, we had fun!! Noel wave you are on camera," Alice exclaimed, okay this was the same conservative girl I met yesterday; obviously conservative Alice is completely different when she not at work or school she becomes wild Alice, Damien like.
"Uh, Hi, nice shoes guys," he said pointing at our shoes. "You guys are losers for life." And then he started to chuckle. Alice then angled the camera so it would show our shoes and how excellent they were.
"Yeah, I know ey, they were totally my idea, No," exclaimed Tiffany.
"Nice but umm, can you guys go in, I think I'm going to stay out here and talk with my good friend," Noel said in a very serious tone. What did he want to talk to me about?
And there I stood patiently, eager to her what could be so serious he wanted to discuss.