I am nineteen years old, a country girl at heart, living in the city on my own for my first year of college; it is an exciting moment in my life. I took that one big leap to start growing up, try new things and work on old ones. I know I said I was a loner but to a certain few people back home I really do miss having the company of, to the rest of the world that is what others see me as, a loner, different, a stray moving on the out skirts of a pack, keeping my distance better to observe what is going on. I really do like it that way its less heartache and more of a view into the things people do not see, yet I do, I always have. I tend to see what others think of as a waste of time, a view they walk past every day and not ever really notice the beauty of it. That is what I love about photography and which is also why it is one of the classes I am taking here at Boston University, I am hoping to be able to share what I see and capture for others to show them that the smallest thing can be a story, a story that one person may need to see, a moment in time that brings life to view in a different way, for the beauty in that one shot might make someone open their heart to the possibility of what they once believed is a world unchanged and that is what I want to make them see even for a moment, what I see every day of my life. A moment in time captured in a once gone flash, forever frozen in time for others to take in. Which I think may have brought me over time to my view about love or something to that nature.
I now live on campus at BU with a roommate named Amanda I have yet to befriend her but she seems nice enough.
We live in Warren Towers, building B; it has eighteen floors with floors – luckily I am not scared of heights-- Five through eighteen being living quarters. Our room is not too big, yet not too small we have two beds, two desks, two dressers and two open closets and still room to walk, so make of that as you will.
The campus seems like a safe place to live, we have twenty four hour security, and key cards to come in and out of the buildings. My floor is coed which is going to take some getting used to but I tend to get along with guys better than girls so I guess it will all work out, you never know maybe I will actually make some friends. It makes it easier knowing all freshmen are required to live on campus so it’s good to know there are others going through every experience I will be this year – thank goodness I won’t be alone.
I have noticed and it brings me some peace –or sadness that even though I moved almost a thousand miles from home the relationships haven’t changed. In my world today I believe old fashion tendencies have faded, old fairytales about princesses and their one true love have been replaced by the youth’s version of dating. See in my opinion, today’s teens do not care about the general rule of a relationship,--one may be with another, but for that moment in time those two people share their life together, which brings forth a bond that must not be shredded by a life with another. What has happened to that? What has happened to the simple courtships of yesterdays, what is it that makes more than a few people not remember or even care about a simple rule of trust, the true feeling that comes of trust? It all still makes sense to me… Yet for others it is like all respect has gone away, it’s like a fading thought from their minds which can change just as quickly as one change their mind about what they would like to wear…
This is not an opinion that came to me over night and one morning I didn’t just wakeup and decide falling in love was not worth my time. It has been a long time coming I’ve been studying this for a while --my camera is pretty much glued to my hand at all times and when it’s not, it is never really too far away… When I see a site or feel something brought on by a single moment no matter how long that moment might last, I try to capture it on to film… It could be a twitch of an eye as someone says hello, or a movement of a lip when someone goes in for the kiss, a moment when two people finally have their eyes meet and you can see into their soul and for that one split second all their secrets seem to show and I capture it all… I freeze it in time because to me… a picture seems to never lie… It gives me a little more hope that not everyone in this world is blind to the acts of ones lie.
The campus grounds are filled with different kinds of people, and it’s interesting to me to watch everyone come together and see how they each act. I watch the student’s sail on the Charles River… watch how a person Kayaking alone seems to be at peace with the world…a face showing they are…trying to forget or maybe even be reliving a moment of true love. Sometimes I see couples, sitting by the water looking into each other’s eyes, water reflecting their faces back to them, as they hold each other close… It is like love is at the tips of my fingers as that shimmer of hope reflects the dying sun and my heart feels free. –I can feel the heat radiate as I near, not wanting to move any closer, I can stay right where I am and zone in on that energy. To me eyes are the only real gift you need; they can look into ones soul. The center of one’s soul is where compassion lies; compassion in each person takes many different forms. For me my soul hides the compassion I feel from the outside world… It gives me strength and energy to keep my faith from faltering, it drives me into trusting what I see is real. -- Which I bring to my photography as best I can. It’s my own personal fairytale, one I can capture and make my own… I can make what I see into what I want to see, I can change anyone’s story to make it the happy-ever-after I am so close to giving up on.