I remember that night Mikey looked at me like I was just as his parents were, I saw in his eyes I had hurt him as he looked at me like he didn’t know me at all… the night our friend showed up out of the blue and almost ruined everything… “Forewarning Mikey your friend is here”… As he spots me from across the driveway our eyes meet and for a split second I was about to speak… but he turned away as if he didn’t see me. So I hide my hurt as I headed inside, which would give them a chance to talk either way… “There you are!” As I turned I saw Mikey had returned from his brief talk with our friend… But the look on his face tells me something is wrong and I believe I might know what it is… “Before you say anything Mikey…let me guess what he told you.” “Jesse how could you? He loved you and you broke his heart…” “I’m sorry Mikey…but it’s not what you think…” I could feel the tears start to swell into my eyes. “Really? Because I think you did exactly what my parents used to do…” At those words I could hear his voice fall and I knew what he thought of me. “Do you even want to hear what really happened? As hurt as I knew he was and thought of me as he did right now, I hide the tremble my voice was trying to take. He stepped towards me with so much hurt in his eyes “You did it…you’re the one that did not wait for him, when he returned you were already gone…He returned and you were with someone else… I could feel the warm tears rolling down my face and at that point I didn’t care… “When you want to hear my side of the story and the real reason I left… I’ll be in my room. Just tell me when he’s gone.”
The night he walked out of my life and left me standing alone in the darkness staring after him. I started to cry… I was alone in the darkness falling apart, crying to myself wishing I wasn’t alone. I took a walk that night most of it just seems like a blur, but as I walked I saw a canvas someone painted laying on the side walk, the painting was smashed, split right down the middle… As I looked, my imagination started running…was this a sign, the reason behind my tears? The person in the painting had green eyes for a beauty which in now her fate, red hair for which love came, yet now was non-existent, the blue background which was now her sorrow and her pain… For her life, her love and her soul was now smashed by hate. This world I live in seems full of lost love, lust that runs wild, where one is not safe until the day that shadow sets free those hearts it has captured and lets the beauty once again take its place… For a soul can run free, as free as the wind that blows past my wet cheeks…-I went home that night and covered in my sheets, laid my head upon my pillow and slowly feel asleep. With the night slowly passing, my dreams were over taken by unsteady visions of him walking away…of the darkness growing thick all around me, of the rain pouring on me from above… -This went on for weeks. Every night it was the same dream over and over again.- The day finally came when I made myself try to forget, I didn’t have anyone to talk to, so I picked up my notebook and I started to write. I wrote what I wished I had the strength to do, I was in hope that if I had enough faith in myself I would be able to do just so. – I will not shed another tear for you. My heart needs a chance to mend. I love you, therefor I hate you. Dreams of dreams never will conquer my world again. I am leaving you behind yet still in mind, just far from my heart… Your life will now start and end with every thought that I will come back to you, your dreams of dreams will never end. This will overtake your every thought and you will finally feel what I thought I would never forget… Where my story ends, your story will now start. Where I felt lost, is finally where you get to feel it too… On the side of time, dreams of dreams always conquer. Stuck in your mid, controlling your every thought. On the side of time forever love never dies. Yet in dreams of dreams that forever love conquers and you live as if nothing ever changes. Every though feels real, every touch lasts forever, dreams start to wind in and out... till one side of time starts overtaking everything now reality. Till you’re lost and don’t know what to do. Because sides of time, dreams of dreams, always and forever will conquer your world…- Believe me when I say as I walk away as you did I will not turn back. The sun is finally starting to come out, as I start to find my way through this maze I got myself lost in long ago. As I go I am going to pick up my shattered heart slowly and try to piece together the good times I once had and leave the bad times behind.—
“Hey Amanda” “Hey what are you up too?” with a guilty smile on my face “Oh I am just rereading my old blog posts.” “What is your blog about?” As Amanda walks over to my computer “It’s a bunch of different posts really, about love, life… anything that comes up really.” “Do you just write about things on your own…or do you have certain things that you post?” “It depends really… if I have a comment asking me about a subject then I write about that, or if I feel the need to blog about what happened to me on a certain day then I blog about that.” “That sounds interesting, what were you reading before I came up?” “I was reading my blogging about love, about lost love, broken hearts, becoming stronger because of it.” “Do you post your poetry on there also?” “Yeah” “How can I read your blogs?” “Well you can just signup for a blog through your email and I will give you my blog name.” “Awesome, hook me up!” with a giggle we get to work on making Amanda a blog of her own “Alright so now that you are set up you can add me; my blog name is My view on life and love its under my email address. You can also send out invites through your email and see who else has a blog you could join.” “Oh cool” with a look of smugness crossing her face, she sent out a couple emails.
“Guess who else has a blog Jesse!?” “Who?” “Otis and I gave him your blog name!” with a look of shock, I turned back to the computer at the sound of a message being received. “It’s Otis! Oh I so am going to pay you back for this Amanda!” She just laughed at me and told me to respond “Well answer him already!!” “Hey Otis” bling “How is your vacation going?” “It’s going good I have shown Amanda all over town. How are your poetry readings?” bling “They are great, I actually shared one of mine today at this Coffee Shop down from school.” “Oh that’s awesome what was it called?” bling “Tattooed” “Oh can I read it some time?” bling “Sure, it’s on my blog if you want to read it now? You can add me then I could add yours I would love to see your work, what is your blog about?” “oh” “It’s about life, it is pretty much like the millions of love and lust stories out there and a repeat of what everyone has heard time and time again” “you know about the same things over and over again with different guys, different girls, different settings, yet all the same love triangles.” bling “Well that might just be interesting to read.” bling “and by the way I like you style of poetry.” I reread what he wrote and turned to Amanda with a look of embarrassment on my face; I could feel the heat in my face as it turned red. “What! He said he liked your style, what’s wrong with that?! “I…a…ahhh!” I couldn’t form any words to express what I felt, well I guess I really didn’t know how to feel about Otis reading my writing, I am used to strangers reading it and commenting but not someone I know…someone I like… “Oh my goodness…You like him don’t you!?” I hated how I couldn’t hide my emotions they showed on my face a bright as could be so I couldn’t lie to her without my face going redder. “Yes” “I knew it, I bet he likes you too, I saw the way he looked at you before we left school.” Bling “So are you going to add me to your bloggers list?” “Sorry Amanda needed me” Bling “Poetry by Otis is my blog name” bling “Tattooed is the third post down” Amanda typed in Otis’s blog name and up popped his page “There it is; Tattooed posted October fifth”;
Tattooed from the inside out,
I may be able to hide my fears but my soul has other intentions.
Every time I try to hide away the truth a new tattoo tends to show.
Once I thought my soul was whole, and then appeared a heart upon my lips.
As I looked again one appears upon my face, for my soul was showing through my skin.
Hide away tears and here they appear, running down my cheek thick and thin…
Shadows so I found were my greatest fear, so I held them near.
Upon my face they too appeared.
Tattooed from the inside out, not meant to build my wall.
For life is not lived with in your head.
Love is not found cowering on the ground.
Let yourself feel everything around, let down your wall and show your fears.
Try not to hide away your soul, as you watch those tattoos fade away.
“Otis that was… beautiful” bling “Did you really like it?” “Of course it was filled with emotion, truth.” Bling “Thank You” “We are going to go to bed, I can’t wait to read more.” Bling “maybe we can get together when you get home and talk about our writing?” I paused as I looked at Amanda; she had a huge smile on her face and eagerness in her eyes. “Well…are you going to accept!?” With a deep inhaled breath, I turned back to the computer and typed “Of course, and don’t forget you promised to show me your poetry haunts!” “Great, have a good night!”