I woke to the purring of my cat that was lying next to me in bed. I leaned over and looked at the clock. 7.30. I gently sat up trying not to catch the bruises all over my body. My joints ached, well my whole body ached. I walked over to my mirror to look at my face. He was smart, I’ll give him that. He wouldn’t hit my face; he didn’t want anyone to know. I couldn’t stand how my life was at the moment. I was a disappointment to my parents, my brothers, but most of all; I was a disappointment to myself. I let him hit me over and over and over, again and again and again. I pulled my long blonde hair into a pony tail and looked for some nice long sleeve shirts I could wear. Winter. My favorite season. You can wear a long sleeve shirt and no one will ask why or thing something is wrong. I just can’t think of what my family would say if they knew what Owen was doing to me. I’m a marine brat who can’t even act like one. “Ryan? Are you up sweetheart?” I heard my mom say knocking on my door. I quickly pulled on a shirt and pulled on a hoodie. I pulled on a clean pair of jeans.
“Yeah Mom. I will be out soon.” I called rubbing my eyes.
“Okay Sweetheart. TJ is ready to take you to school, he is just eating breakfast.” She said before walking away. I ran my hand over my face and sighed. I grabbed my wallet and keys and kissed Felix’s head. I walked down stairs and stole a pop-tart from TJ’s plate.
“Hey, that was mine.” He yelled causing crumbs to go everywhere. I smiled and got a cup of apple juice.
“Hey I shared the womb with you, the lease you could do is share a pop-tart.” I laughed. He grunted and got another from the box.
“Morning Sweetheart. Do you feel better Ryan? You went to bed pretty early last night. Your dad said you were out cold when he went to check on you and say good night.” I looked at my mom with a mouth full of strawberry pop-tart.
“Um yeah. I was tired, I guess. I didn’t even hear Dad come in last night.” I said hiding the fear of if he saw something in the box in the back of my head.
“Yeah he said you were dead asleep. He even checked on you before he left, you were the same. You sure your okay sweetheart? Maybe I should take you to see a doctor.” She said putting her hand on my cheek.
“I’m fine mom. It’s just school, it’s just hard, so I’m losing sleep. Nothing more. Don’t worry.” I said finishing off my pop-tart. Mom sighed.
“Okay Baby. Have a good day at school.” She smiled kissing my head. I walked out to TJ’s truck and got in as he ran out after me with the rest of his pop-tart in his mouth. I looked out the window as he started to drive away.
“Ryan, please tell me what’s wrong. Please.” I looked over at my twin brother from the corner of my eye.
“Nothing’s wrong TJ, okay nothing. I’m fine.” I said looking as the school come into view.
“I can tell something is wrong Ryan. You’re my twin sister. Please just tell me.” He begged. I wanted to, I wanted to so bad.
“NO Thomas! Nothing is wrong!” I snapped getting out of the car. I looked back at the car to see him with his face in his hands. I hated myself for the pain I was making him feel, but I had to. I had to protect my brother. I walked as fast as I could to my locker. Luck wasn’t on my side as I saw my boyfriend Owen standing next to it. “Hi Owen.” I faked a smile at him. He smirked and pulled me to him and kissed me full on the lips jamming his tongue in my mouth. I wanted so bad to just bite it, but I knew he would beat me if I did. I stood there doing nothing till I felt his fingers digging into my freshly bruised back.
“Kiss me back.” He snapped digging his fingers even farther in making them throb and pain to shoot up my spin. I kissed him back as I fought the tears of pain. “You better not ever do that again. Do you hear me?” He growled in my ear. I nodded braking out of his grasp and grabbed my books for class. Owen wasn’t always like he is now. He was the perfect guy when we started to date in 10th grade. He was sweet and nice and well perfect, but it started to change. His Mom got deployed and his Dad started to work more, he started to get madder at me for every little thing till he would punch and slap me. At first it was a little mistake, I would forgive him and things would move on. But as the time went it got worse and worse till I had trouble walking home. Oh and he lives on the other side of base and makes me walk. TJ picked up on it first when I started to ‘quiet down and not me myself’ any more. He told Mom about my change of life style and then she got concerned. Dad and Hunter stayed out of it and still have.
I hate when I fight with TJ. I know he cares. He wants to help. But I can’t drag him into this. I care about him too much. Right now I can’t really think of how my life is going to turn out. The only I know is I can’t live like this forever. I can’t hide behind hoodies and long sleeve shirts, makeup and hair. I can’t fight with my family, who just want to help. I can’t live with Owen forever. I can’t fight with life. I can try to live my life with Owen. But I know one thing.
I don’t even know if I want to live to find out if I can.