snuggled farther into Tanner's shoulder as the feeling of being
safe took over. Tanner still had his chin on top of my head as I
started to fall asleep. He looked down at me and started to
smile. "Are going to sleep on me?" He laughed
"Ahmmm." I nodded my head my eyes still
closed. "Your comfy you know that?" I mumbled. He pressed his
lips to my head.
"No one ever told me that." He
"Well I did." I snuggled into his warm
skin. He stood up easily with me in his arms. "Where are you
going?" I mumbled barley aware of the gentle rocking of him
"I'm going to lay you in bed so you can go
to sleep. Now where is your room?" He asked walking down the
"I'm next to the bathroom across from TJ."
I said putting my arms around his neck so I wouldn't fall. I ran
my fingers over the dog tags around his neck that I didn't feel
before. I pressed my lips to his chest before opening my eyes as
we reached my room.
"You got a nice room Ryan." He said looking
around the dark room.
"Shh the baby is sleeping. And you can't
even see it." I laughed at him quietly. He looked at the crib by
"Oops, sorry." He smiled. He laid me on my
bed as my eye lids started to droop again. "Good night Ryan." He
whispered walking to the door. I sat up leaning on my elbows and
looked at him.
"Where are you going?" I asked scared that
the feeling was leaving me. He stopped and looked at
was going to leave so you can sleep." He looked at my alarm
clock. "It's getting pretty late." He nodded to it. I looked at
the glowing blue numbers. 11.30. I looked back at
"But I don't want to be alone. Please don't
leave me alone. Then they will come back." I said my eyes
watering. He sat next to me and looked at me.
"Who will come back?" He asked running his
knuckle down my cheek.
"The nightmares. You make me feel safe. I
don't want that feeling to go away. I liked it." I whispered
turning away from him. "I haven't felt it in so long. I missed
it." I felt Tanner's hand on my face pulling it to look at his
"All you had to do was ask. I would have
stayed. I will stay." He ran his thumb over the tears that fell
down my cheeks. "I know that feeling. I haven't felt it since
Wyatt died. I have missed it so much I forgot what it felt like.
But before with that one hug. I felt at peace. I missed that
feeling so much." He smiled at me pushing me gently down so my
head was on my pillows. I pulled the pillow next to me to my
chest holding it tight. Tanner pulled the pillow out of my
"Hey." As he fell on the bed next to me. "I
was holding that." I said turning on my stomach to look at him.
He had my pillow under his head, as he pulled the sheet and
blankets up to the waist band of his sweats.
"But it looks so comfy and hugged." He
smiled pulling me to him. I laid my head on his chest again and
guess this is the next best thing." I poked the hard muscles.
"Its guess it's as soft too." I smirked closing my
am not soft. There is just more to love." He smirked closing his
eyes as I rolled onto my side cuddling up to his bare chest as
the darkest took over and I slipped into a pleasant
woke to the sound of Asher standing up in the crib. He looked at
me still sucking on his binky. I rubbed my eyes and sat up in my
bed. I was too warm to be alone. I looked over at Tanner to see
him still fast asleep snoring lightly. I smiled because they were
light snores so they were like a lullaby. I got out of bed and
picked up Asher walking to the kitchen. I made him a bottle and
grabbed a piece of cold pizza from the box I put in last night. I
pulled the note from off the frig and read it.
I had to go to the hospital early today because they are short
staffed. I was going to wake you last night to say good night but
you were fast asleep with that boy. We need to talk when I get
home. I love you baby girl and I left some more on the counter
for lunch because I haven't had time to food shop. I dropped TJ
off at practice so you have the house to yourself, well other
than Asher, that boy, and Hunter when he gets home from Emmy's
See you when I get home,
PS I love you
shook my head and looked at Asher as he suckled away at his
bottle. Like clockwork Hunter came through the front door with
Emmy. "Morning Sis." He smiled.
"Morning." I said, the pizza mumbling my
words since it was still in my mouth. "How was your date?" I
asked him as Emmy picked up Asher and kissed him.
"It was great." She smiled. Hunter put his
arms around her shoulders.
"We wanted to pick him up so we could go
out to breakfast. Do you want to come too?" He asked me as Emmy
changed Asher in the living room.
"No I think I'm good here." I nodded
sipping my milk. He kissed my head as Emmy came back in. "I'll
see you three later than." I nodded smiling at
"Okay see you later." Emmy smiled kissing
my cheek. They walked back out leaving me alone in the kitchen. I
sat down and started to read the news paper as I ate my pizza. I
was reading something that I didn't hear Tanner come in till I
felt him kiss my head. I almost jumped out of my skin. My
breathing hitched as memories of Owen flooded my head. Tanner
turned me around. "I'm sorry." He asked concerned.
"It's okay." I sighed getting up and
walking out the front door. He looked down at the news paper and
read the article that made me jump so scared, before he ran after
me. I had my arms wrapped around me as the tears fell from my
eyes. He pulled me into his chest as the first rain drops fell
unnoticed. He pulled back and started to run his finger down my
cheek as the freezing rain soaked us both.
"It's okay, don't cry." He whispered
looking my face over.
"I'm not crying." I sniffled looking away
from his warm brown eyes. He smiled.
"Then why is your face wet with tears?" He
asked pulling my body closer to his.
"Because it's raining." I laughed,
forgetting why I was crying. He looked up at the
"Hey would you look at that. It's pouring
out." He smirked at me. I laughed.
"Can we go inside now? It's getting really
cold now." Without realizing it his hands started to rub up and
down my arms trying to get me a little warmer.
"Can I do one thing first?" He asked his
face only inches from mine. I nodded not trusting my voice. His
warm lips brushed mine, right there, in front of my house, in the