TJ pulled the truck in the driveway and looked at me. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” He asked. I looked over at him.
“I can’t TJ, I can’t. I want to, god I want to, but I can’t.” I opened the door and walked to the house. I opened the door to laughing and the TV in the living room on.
“Hey, how is my God daughter doing?” I looked over at Aunt Alex. She pulled me into a hug.
“I’m good, how are you?” I asked trying to make my voice not sound dead.
“I’m good. Wow it must be cold out your cheeks are red.” She said rubbing them. I nodded trying to not flinch in pain as she rubbed them. I saw TJ walk in and look at me. I could see the pain and sadness as he looked at me.
“I think I’m just going to take a nice warm shower to bring the blood back in my hands.” I smiled. It’s true. I was freezing. The tempura dropped as I waited for TJ and I didn’t have a shirt on. I also felt disgusting. I felt used. I felt as if everyone knew it. I didn’t like it. I wanted to scrub the pain away.
“Sure sweetheart. I will tell the boys okay?” She smiled. I nodded and ran off to my room. I grabbed my pajamas and ran to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. I turned on the hot water and let the room start to steam. I pulled down my pants and held back a sob as I looked at the dark purple bruises, getting worse with the new damage. My pants had blood on them from when I lost my virginity. I always thought I loved Owen. He was the perfect guy. What I had it with him. I wanted out. I was down with all this crap. I was done being the victim. I was tired of lying to my family. I think most of all I was tired of him. I stepped in the shower. It was heavenly. It was perfect. I brushed my hair, scrubbed my skin till it was red and throbbed with pain. I felt better, still disgusting, but a little less. I came out of the shower as my fingers were pruning and that’s not a good thing. I pulled on my shirt and comfy pants and walked out into the semi cold hallway. It felt nice on my burning skin. I walked back into my room and fell onto my bed and passed out……..
I woke to the feeling of a hand on my forehead. I opened my eyes to see Audrey sitting on my bed. “Why is it so cooled in here?” She asked rubbing her bare arms for warmth in my cold room.
“It’s nice and warm under here.” I smiled snuggling farther into my camo comforter. She smiled and pulled my covers up and slipped in next to me. She was always my like an older sister to me. She was always there for me, even after I pushed her away with the whole Owen thing.
“It is nice under here.” She smiled. “Your mom wanted me to check on you since it have been about 2 hours since you took an hour shower, and the pizza is here.” She said turning on her side to look at me.
“I’m not hungry.” I said as the pit of my stomach started to hurt. She looked at me.
“You okay? You look a little green.” She said nodding towards my face. I looked down. “What’s wrong?” She asked.
“I, I ran out of birth control the other day and I well.” I felt the tears forming in my eyes. Audrey put her hand on my face.
“I thought you were still a…” She looked at me, right in the eye. “You wanted to stay a…you know till you were married. Did he” she took a deep breath trying to get rid of the pain. “Did he force you to have sex with him?” She whispered. I looked up as the tears fell down my cheeks. I felt her hands on my cheek. “He did didn’t he?” She said. I nodded and burst into sobs. She pulled me into a hug.
“I didn’t want this to happen. Audrey I don’t know what to do.” She held me tighter.
“We will get through this, I promise.” She held me as I cried……….
TJ’s knuckles stopped as he listened to what I was saying. He curled his hands into fists as the anger ate at him. He wanted to go and kill Owen but he knew it would make it worse. TJ rubbed his face trying to think straight but failing. He walked back to the living room where everyone was watching a football game. He sat down next to Logan and sighed. “Dude what’s wrong?” He asked. TJ looked at Logan. Logan looked just like Uncle Jesse. He had the same black hair and the same loving green eyes. Sam looked more like his mom, then his Dad. Sam, Uncle Jesse and Aunt Kirsty’s other son, had her red hair and her face, but Uncle Jesse’s eyes. Sam was only about 15. Sam looked at TJ. “Dude it looks like you want to go kill someone.” TJ glared at his cousin. “Aaron is over there.” He pointed to the blonde haired boy sitting next to his father.
“Dude!” Aaron yelled at him.
“I’m not going to kill anyone, okay. I’m just not happy about some homework I have.” His eyes darted to Logan.
“You sure, Son? Homework doesn’t just get to you.” Dad said sipping is beer. TJ hated lying as much as I do. We are alike is many ways. TJ suppressed a sigh.
“Yeah Dad, I’m sure.” He looked down. Mom looked at him with narrowed eyes. She looked at the hall with Hunter, who is deployed to Afghanistan at the movement, TJ, and my room.
“TJ can you come here for a minute? I want to talk to you.” She said, her eyes still narrowed………….