TJ pulled the truck in the driveway and looked at me. "Why won't
you tell me what's wrong?" He asked. I looked over at him.
"I can't TJ, I can't. I want to, god I want to, but I can't." I
opened the door and walked to the house. I opened the door to
laughing and the TV in the living room on.
"Hey, how is my God daughter doing?" I looked over at Aunt Alex.
She pulled me into a hug.
"I'm good, how are you?" I asked trying to make my voice not
"I'm good. Wow it must be cold out your cheeks are red." She said
rubbing them. I nodded trying to not flinch in pain as she rubbed
them. I saw TJ walk in and look at me. I could see the pain and
sadness as he looked at me.
"I think I'm just going to take a nice warm shower to bring the
blood back in my hands." I smiled. It's true. I was freezing. The
tempura dropped as I waited for TJ and I didn't have a shirt on.
I also felt disgusting. I felt used. I felt as if everyone knew
it. I didn't like it. I wanted to scrub the pain away.
"Sure sweetheart. I will tell the boys okay?" She smiled. I
nodded and ran off to my room. I grabbed my pajamas and ran to
the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. I turned on the hot
water and let the room start to steam. I pulled down my pants and
held back a sob as I looked at the dark purple bruises, getting
worse with the new damage. My pants had blood on them from when I
lost my virginity. I always thought I loved Owen. He was the
perfect guy. What I had it with him. I wanted out. I was down
with all this crap. I was done being the victim. I was tired of
lying to my family. I think most of all I was tired of him. I
stepped in the shower. It was heavenly. It was perfect. I brushed
my hair, scrubbed my skin till it was red and throbbed with pain.
I felt better, still disgusting, but a little less. I came out of
the shower as my fingers were pruning and that's not a good
thing. I pulled on my shirt and comfy pants and walked out into
the semi cold hallway. It felt nice on my burning skin. I walked
back into my room and fell onto my bed and passed out……..
I woke to the feeling of a hand on my forehead. I opened my eyes
to see Audrey sitting on my bed. "Why is it so cooled in here?"
She asked rubbing her bare arms for warmth in my cold room.
"It's nice and warm under here." I smiled snuggling farther into
my camo comforter. She smiled and pulled my covers up and slipped
in next to me. She was always my like an older sister to me. She
was always there for me, even after I pushed her away with the
whole Owen thing.
"It is nice under here." She smiled. "Your mom wanted me to check
on you since it have been about 2 hours since you took an hour
shower, and the pizza is here." She said turning on her side to
look at me.
"I'm not hungry." I said as the pit of my stomach started to
hurt. She looked at me.
"You okay? You look a little green." She said nodding towards my
face. I looked down. "What's wrong?" She asked.
"I, I ran out of birth control the other day and I well." I felt
the tears forming in my eyes. Audrey put her hand on my face.
"I thought you were still a…" She looked at me, right in the eye.
"You wanted to stay a…you know till you were married. Did he" she
took a deep breath trying to get rid of the pain. "Did he force
you to have sex with him?" She whispered. I looked up as the
tears fell down my cheeks. I felt her hands on my cheek. "He did
didn't he?" She said. I nodded and burst into sobs. She pulled me
into a hug.
"I didn't want this to happen. Audrey I don't know what to do."
She held me tighter.
"We will get through this, I promise." She held me as I cried……….
TJ's knuckles stopped as he listened to what I was saying. He
curled his hands into fists as the anger ate at him. He wanted to
go and kill Owen but he knew it would make it worse. TJ rubbed
his face trying to think straight but failing. He walked back to
the living room where everyone was watching a football game. He
sat down next to Logan and sighed. "Dude what's wrong?" He asked.
TJ looked at Logan. Logan looked just like Uncle Jesse. He had
the same black hair and the same loving green eyes. Sam looked
more like his mom, then his Dad. Sam, Uncle Jesse and Aunt
Kirsty's other son, had her red hair and her face, but Uncle
Jesse's eyes. Sam was only about 15. Sam looked at TJ. "Dude it
looks like you want to go kill someone." TJ glared at his cousin.
"Aaron is over there." He pointed to the blonde haired boy
sitting next to his father.
"Dude!" Aaron yelled at him.
"I'm not going to kill anyone, okay. I'm just not happy about
some homework I have." His eyes darted to Logan.
"You sure, Son? Homework doesn't just get to you." Dad said
sipping is beer. TJ hated lying as much as I do. We are alike is
many ways. TJ suppressed a sigh.
"Yeah Dad, I'm sure." He looked down. Mom looked at him with
narrowed eyes. She looked at the hall with Hunter, who is
deployed to Afghanistan at the movement, TJ, and my room.
"TJ can you come here for a minute? I want to talk to you." She
said, her eyes still narrowed………….