I swear my heart stopped. No. No. No. They cannot be here. No.
No. No. "Hello…" I said in an uncertain tone trying to keep
myself from falling over.
"Mrs. Banks?" He asked. I shook my head.
"Mom, can you come here?" I called to her in a shaky voice. I
heard her get up and her footsteps as she walked to the front
"Baby what…." Her voice trailed off after she saw the two fully
uniformed Marines standing in our door way. I put my hand in my
pockets trying to stop the shaking that was happening. I looked
over at her.
"Ma'am, may we come in?" The second Marine asked.
"Yes, please do come in." She said moving out of the way for them
to come in. I moved over for them too. I closed the door half way
looking at the black car sitting on the street as if taunting me.
I closed the door and walked into the living room where it was
"How can we help you?" Dad asked holding Mom's hand in his.
"We have some news really, Sir. It's about your son Hunter."
Mom's breath hitched in her throat at just the mention on
"What about him?" I asked holding my belly scared of the answer.
I could feel my hands shaking as I moved them to lay them on the
top of my bump. The first Marine looked at me.
"There has been a…..a problem at his base." He said. Dad looked
at him his face turning to stone.
"What kind of problem?" He asked his thumb rubbing over Mom's
knuckles. The second Marine looked at all of us.
"We aren't really sure what happened, but we know that something
is very wrong. We have no connection with the platoon, and we
cannot see anything from the satellites. We don't know how many
are dead, or how many are alive, if any are." I put my face in my
hands and started to cry.
"My son could be dead?" Mom whispered as TJ got up to pull me to
"Yes Ma'am, he could be. But he could be a fighter and he could
be fighting his way out of there. We just don't know. Every one
of those Marines could be alive. Every connection was
terminated." TJ held me as the tears rolled down his face.
"What are you going to do? To see if he is alive?" The words
sounded horrible in Dad's mouth. I never want to hear my Dad ask
what they were going to do to see if my brother was alive ever
again. I looked at the marines waiting for the answer.
"We are sending in more marines to see what is wrong. The air
force is lunching some planes. We are doing everything we can to
bring those men home." The First Marine nodded.
"We are sorry we don't have any more to tell you. We wish we
did." The second marine said standing up with the first. Dad
stood up with them.
"Thank you." He said saluting them. Dad walked the marines out as
I sobbed onto TJ's shoulder. I can't lose Hunter. I can't lose
"Baby." Mom said standing up as the tears fell down her cheeks. I
stood up and hugged her tightly.
"I can't lose both of them Ma. I can't lose Hunter." I sobbed
violently. I felt Mom start to rub my back to help me stop, but
it wasn't working.
"I know baby, I'm so sorry." She whispered. I moved causing my
locket to make a thumping sound as it hit my chest. My locket
Tanner gave me. Tanner, the father of my baby. My brother's best
friend, almost brother. My boyfriend. My brother's platoon mate.
My eyes widened. Mom looked at me. "Sweetheart?" She asked
putting her hand on my cheek.
"Ryan?" Dad said coming back in the room. "Ryan look at me." I
wanted to look at him but I was frozen in place. The only thing
moving was the river of tears flowing down my cheeks. He put a
hand on my shoulder turning me to look at him. My eyes were
seeing nothing but his face, my love. The house could burst into
flames right now and I wouldn't even have noticed. Tanner could
be gone. He was gone.
"Ry-Ry, look at me come on. Ry I need you to look at me." TJ said
putting his hand under my chin pulling my face up to look at his
concerned eyes. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like someone was
in my lungs putting both their hands on them and squeezing them
till they burst. My knees started to shake, as well as my whole
body. The tremors rocking through my body making me snap out of
my trance. I looked around at the worried faces of my family
before I started to sob violently. Dad pulled me to him holding
"Ry-Ry, Shh it's okay." He whispered sitting down putting me on
his lap rocking me gently like he used to when I was little. I
put my hands on bump holding it tightly trying to protect it from
everything, life, this cruel world, judgment. Everything was
poison to my little baby. I looked around the room before my eyes
fell on my Dad.
"I can't raise a baby by myself, alone at 18. I can't Daddy. I
can't do that. I can't have this baby without him. I need him. I
love him Daddy. I love him so much." I sobbed. He looked down at
"I need Tanner, I want Tanner." I cried out. He looked at me.
"I'm sorry Baby." He whispered. "I can't do that. I understand
that you want him-" I cut him off.
"You don't understand why! You never can understand why!" I
screamed at him. He looked at me as I got off his lap quickly. I
started to feel lightheaded. I grew weak suddenly causing me to
put a hand to my head to stop the spinning. I must have got up to
"Ry, Ryan what's wrong?" I could barley heard anything over the
now loud throbbing in my ears. I couldn't breathe. My chest
wasn't moving. I saw the black spots forming in my vision as the
sounds around disappeared as my eyes rolled to the back of my
head as consciousness slipped through my fingers…………..