I was lying on my side with my eyes closed trying to fall asleep, well trying and failing. I pulled the blankets closer to me. It's been a couple of months since Tanner purposed to me. I was about 34 weeks pregnant and my doctor was so happy. Getting to 34 weeks pregnant with twins is a miracle that I got as long as possible. Yeah no. I want these babies out. I was ready to burst. I was twice as big as a normal full term belly, and I hated it. The doctor, Dr. Fisher the same doctor I had in the hospital, said I could go into labor really soon. I was having a hard time sleeping because the babies are usually always moving around a lot. I took a deep breath and got up. Tanner was on duty for another 2 hours so I was alone. I gently got up off the bed pulling my hair into a ponytail. I walked to the nursery sitting down in the rocking chair closing my eyes in exhaustion. I rocked back and forth as I listened to the gentle hum from the mobile turning in the crib nearest to me. I felt relaxed for the first time in a while. I woke up to a sharp pain in my lower stomach making me look at the clock. I rubbed my eyes looking at the clock on the wall. Tanner should be home by now. I looked around the dark room. We got the nursery down right after the paint dried leaving the boys to put together the furniture. They put together the rocking chair, the two cribs, the changing table the toy box, and the storage box at the bottom of the closets. I talked to Tanner about the names for the twins and he started crying saying his brother would be so proud. He also said he loved the name Bailey and would want his daughter named it.
Me* Hey Tanner
Tanner* Hey Baby, what's up?
Me* I was just wondering where you are? I thought you said your shift ended at 12. It's 2 o'clock.
Tanner* Oh right about that….
Me* What Tanner?
Tanner* One of the guys wanted to play some poker at their house and he has been having some tough times right now….
Me* Tanner why didn't you tell me?
Tanner* Because I didn't want you to get mad at me.
Me* I wouldn't have been but you know what? Now I am. Why couldn't you just god damn tell me you were going over his house?
Tanner*Because well….I don't know.
Me*Right now my hormones are crazy. I am so mad at you right now. I am fucking huge and now you are lying to me like I'm a child.
Tanner*Baby I didn't mean it like that.
Me* Yes it's exactly what you mean.
Tanner*Ryan come on I'm sorry.
Me*No you're not. You think I'm a fat idiot who can't do anything so you lie to me
I felt the tears start to roll down my face. I have been like this for the last couple of months. My hormones have been bouncing off the walls.
Tanner* Baby Your not fat your pregnant.
Me* That's the same thing. I'm fat.
Tanner* Ryan, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and you pregnant I can't even think about it because if I do I will have to hide from the guys.
Me* So now you're saying I am ugly like I was before I got pregnant? Thanks Tanner, you're an asshole.
Tanner* Okay Ryan stop it now. You need to stop, calm down and think about it. You, you yourself, you are what I want to come home to. I want to sleep next to you. I want to sleep with you. I want you. I want you to have my babies. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you.
Me*Do you really mean that?
Tanner* Of course I do Ry. I love you so much.
Me* I love you too. I missed you today. I feel like crap so I don't want to move.
Tanner* The doctor said you would be having the babies soon so your body will be saving your energy.
Me*I know I just feel horrible, I don't know.
Tanner*Hmmm I will call the doctor in the morning, well in a couple of hours.
Me* Okay, when are you coming home?
Tanner* Soon baby. I will be leaving in about 30 minutes so about an hour. Because you know I am not on duty tomorrow.
Me*I know. Come home soon. I miss you and love you.
Tanner* Okay, I love you too beautiful. See you soon.