Invisable Life

Dear diary

It has been a week since grandma was admitted to the hospital. As it stand she is doing very well. She is still wheezing but not like before.

Mom I have never seen her like this I feel for helpless. I don’t know what to do here. What is the right thing to do?

Paul has been nothing but nice to me. He has been taking Sarah when I go to the hospital.

On another note.. HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME I HAD A ROTHER! .. That is unforgivable. What did I ever do to you to deserve this. God! .. He is now after me. He blames me for your death.

Paul has been the one taking care of me and Sarah making sure he is not coming back. Mom why didn’t you tell me?

I wish you would have. Why did you give him away?

You could have prevented Paul from all this. Maybe just maybe things will change.

I wonder if things will get better. Maybe just maybe I will get a break.

………………………………................................................................................................

“Kirst” my grandma yelled. Since we got home from the doctors two dyas ago she has been nothing but dependent on me. Though I don’t mind.

I go down stairs to her room and open the door “ what is it Grandma” I asked.

“ do you think you could keep me company for a while .. Im lonely” she laughed.

“ sure, what would you like to do” I smiled

“ how about if we talk a bit” she suggested.

“umm okay” I said sitting at the bottom of her bed. “ what do you want to talk about”

“ okay .. Paul” she looked at me “ I can tell you like him …. A lot. But I also know what you wont do anything about it. I mean in the last week I have gotten the chance to see you two together. The way he acts around you and the way you act around him. So basically what im saying is, tell him how you feel. You never know what going it happen. I just want you to go around with thinking .. what if”

“ is it really that noticeable” I asked not sure if a wanted to know the answer.

“yes , now go get Paul. And spend some time with him” she said

I was about to say something when she held up a hand to stop me. “ don’t worry I take care of Sarah. Your cousin is baby sitting her” she smiled.

“thanks grandma” I said kissing her cheek and left the room.

Now how am I going to tell him how I feel. I need a plan.

plan was set. I was going to get him alone. But how. Was the only question left. I thought of different way. But most of them were childish. I settled on the one that seemed the least bit realistic which was, me sucking it up and asking him to dinner or something along those lines.

Sarah and I had a girls day. Since I was mostly with grandma these days I was beginning to feel bad for her. So I took her shopping. I bought her new toys and clothes. Even though I was with her. My mind was elsewhere.

“ Kirsty did you hear what I said” Sarah asked as we sat down with the ice cream we just bought.

“ no im sorry, what did you say” I asked giving her a smile.

“ I said , my friend Alex is having a party this weekend, can I go” she asked. Giving me a hopeful look.

“sure you can” I retorted

We spent the rest of the day fooling around. We even went to chucky cheese. We had a great time playing games.

We ended up going back home shortly after that. We got home and unloaded the car. We got inside and put everything away. I went to check on grandma. When I walked into the room I saw the Paul was talking with her. They both shut up when the saw me.

“ hey, whats up” I eyed them suspiciously I looked at grandma who had a grin on her face. And I looked at Paul who was blushing and staring at me in a weird way. I felt myself blush. I don’t know why.

“ its nothing Kirst” grandma said filling the awkward silence.

“sure” I said unconvinced.

And with that I walked out of the room. I was half way down the hall when Paul caught up to me.

“Kirst” he looked at me “ never mind forget it” he shook his head and continued down the hall.

I never saw him for the rest of the day. Well he didn’t see me long enough for us to talk. I really wanted to ask him what was wrong, but thought the better of it.

It got to be Sarah’s bed time and Paul and I usually did that together. So I got Sarah ready for bed . When we were finished I went to go find Paul.

I went to the room he was staying in (he was basically living here now) and knocked on his door. He opened it and stopped when he saw who it was. He never made eye contact with me like he always did.

“ umm Sarah want you to say good night to her” I said

Without a word he walked around me and walked towards Sarah room.

I stood there like an idiot for what seem like two minutes when it was probably two ..at the most.

I needed to talk to him about what happened in the room with grandma. But I didn’t know how to go about it.

I was still frozen when Paul came back.

“what are you still doing here” he asked

“ I was thinking sorry” I shrugged “ Paul I think we need to talk” I said

“ yeah” he nodded

“ lets go out” I suggested

“ okay … where” he asked still not making eye contact

“hmm, well I know this new restraunt about a block from here, Marcello’s” I shrugged “we could go there “

“okay” walked back into his room and grabbed a sweater.

Before we knew it we were at the Marcello’s and being seated by the waiter.

We sat in silence at first. I was thankful to have the time. I hadn’t really thought through what I wanted to say.

“ okay … im just going to be completely blunt” I said “what were you and my grandma talking about” I asked.

“ well we were sort of talking about you” he said blushing a little.

“what about me” I asked

Before he had the chance to answer Paul was up and over to my side of the table. He pulled me behind his back protectively.

I didn’t know what was going on. But something told me to stay quiet. Which was when I spotted Joey.

Paul had led me out of the building. But before he could get me safely to the car. Joey came out and was headed right for us

“ Kirst get in the car” Paul whispered ot taking his eyes from Joey.

“ wait” I said before he interrupted me.

“please just go” he said looking at me pleading with his eye.

“no, im not leaving you alone” I said sternly as Joey continued to get closer and closer with every step he took.

He went to say something but it was to late. Joey was standing right in front of us. Everything that happened next was blur.

Joey looked at me with a grin that sent chills up my spine. And a sick feeling in my gut. He continued to smile as he fished something out of hid pocket. I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was a knife.

“ Go away” Paul snapped

“ why” Joey asked knowing bloody why.

“ you are not wanted here. We did nothing to you, so you be best on your way” Paul said putting a protective arm around me.

“ you didn’t , but she did” Joey said pointing at me.

He took another step towards us and that was enough for Paul. He lunged at Joey causing him to fall on his butt. Paul then proceeded punch him in the nose, so hard that it made a popping sound.

Joey then got away from Paul and laid a fist on the side of his face. Paul then fell down to the ground and Joey came over to me.

I didn’t know how to fight. But when he came at me. I kicked him hard the groin. Sending him to the ground but not for long. He stood and grabbed me . He turned me around and put the knife against my throat.

“ now, you killed my mom, your turn” he said

I stomped on his foot so hard he went down again . I turned to go see a bloody Paul when I felt something warm and wet o my side.

I got to Paul when something hard hit my head and everything went black.

I woke up to the sound of beeping . I carefully opened my eyes. At first all I saw was a blinding light and white walls.

I was in major amounts of pain. From my left side. To my arms. And my head. I

I was lying there for a while, before everything came back to me. The restraunt ,The fight with Joey, Paul lying on the floor covered in blood.

I began to cry, just then the doctor came in to the room. I turned my head so she didn’t see me. All I wanted was to see Paul and by the look on her face. that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

“Paul , I want Pau;” I sobbed turning towards the doctor who was checking to make sure I was okay.

“Paul , is in the room next to you, though I have to say, you are in no condition to go right now” she said rubbing my back.

“ how is he , is he okay” I asked panicked

“ I assure you that you are in a far worse situation” she smiled

At least he was alright. that’s what I wanted. But she was holding back on me and I knew. I had to see him for myself. If she wont let me then I will go to him myself.

I was struggling to sit up. When the nurse came in and saw what I was doing. She ran over and laid me back down again.

“ah ah ah your on bed rest” she said with an accent that I didn’t recognize

“ I want to see Paul” I demanded

“ okay, okay ill see if he wants to visit” she reasoned

I nodded and she walked off. I didn’t mean to be mean to the nurse but I really need to see if Paul was really alright. For myself.

My inhead chatter was put to a stop when the nurse came back in and wheeled Paul into my room. My breath caught at the sight of him. He had bruises every where. On his jaw and on his cheek arms. EVERYWHERE!

I know its rude , but I could not stop staring at him. He has never looked so fragile before. After all he is a police man.

Paul looked at me and gave me a weak smile before he winced because of the pain.

“hey” I said

“hello” he responded.

“look im sorry I didn’t listen to you, I was so stubborn. I should have done what you asked.” I said in one big breath.

“ im sorry too, I shou..” I cut off

“ don’t you dare go blaming yourself Paul. You know damn well that he would have gotten to me sooner or later” I snapped a little.

“ im sorry” he looked down.

“im sorry too” I said

Paul wheeled over to my bed and took my hand, “ I love you” he said, I looked up at him shocked.

It took me a minute to respond. “I love you too” I said. Smiling because it felt right.

We stared at each other for at few minutes. Just trying to figure out if what we said to each other was really what we said.

I suddenly got this sharp pain in me side that made me doubly over.

“Kirst, are you okay” Paul said with a look of concern on his face.

“ ill . Be. Alright” I said gasping.

I knew by the look on hid face that he didn’t believe me. He wheeled himself over to my side and pressed the button for the nurse.

‘Can I help you” I woman german accent came from the speaker.

“yes can you send the doctor in here please” he said not taking his eyes from me.

I was still in major amounts of pain when the doctor came in.

The pain came and went in doses. So I was able to breath for a few seconds until the next one hit. But this pain was different. If felt like I sword stabbing through me. Even the wetness of my blood felt real. I looked down at my side and sure enough the blood my seeping through the bandage.

“it looks like one of you stitches popped” the doctor said. “ill just go get my toold and we will fix it for ya” she said leaving the room.

“ oh no” I whimpered . If there was anything that I hated it was needles

“whats wrong” Paul asked holding my hand

“ I hate needles” I sulked and began to cry

“ you are willing to get stabbed by a phsyco, but you cry at the sight of a needle” he laughed gently.

“ yes” I looked up at him. Then to the nurse who was getting my needle ready. I looked at Paul with fear.

“ okay how about I distracted you” he said. Smiling me.

“o . o kay” I said shaky

“ okay” he agreed.

We waited untill the doctor came back. Paul squeezed my hand and let go. I looked at him.

“ I just want to talk to the doctor” he said.

He went outside and talked to the doctor. They were both smiling.

They came back in.

“ okay Kirst , ya ready for the needle” she asked,

“no” I said and grabbed Pauls hand .

“ okay relax and don’t look” she advised.

I nodded. She was getting ready to put the needle in.

“kirst” Paul said I looked at him getting ready to feel the pain when all of a sudden he kissed me.

Paul Laughed “ finished”

“oh” was all I could say “umm thanks” I said to the doctor who was grinning.

“ she knew didn’t she” I asked shaking my head and smiling.

“well I wasn’t about to kiss you without doctors permission” he laughed again.

……………………We both laughed.

“ well, thanks for the distraction” I said blushing.

“ don’t mention it, I dreamed about kissing you since the day we wet to talk. But then Joey got in the way. And here we are. In a hospital.” he said smiled.

“ im glad you kissed me” I said

“ im glad I did too” he laughed.

The rest of the afternoon were spent hanging out together. Either in my room or his ( so we both got a chance to rest..) we watched t.v together and played cards.

Paul caught up on phone calls and made sure everyone knew we were okay. And he asked grandma if Sarah was okay, it turns out she was at a friends house for the night.

A few minutes later I was wheeled back to my room and I fell asleep.

When I woke up I was in a different room. It was a joining room. I had o idea why I was here. Was there something wrong with me? I mean they only move people when thery are prepping them for surgery or major tests.

I was looking around the room for some kind of clue as to why they moved we here. That was when I realized that I was holding something…. Or someone. I looked up to see Paul.