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Chapter Summary: Shouldn't something be
wrong with this? I thought to myself, but no matter how hard I
searched, I could find nothing amiss. It was only Cat; she was my
best friend--and a damn good kisser. --Maybe I should explore...
Just what else would she allow me to do?
Cat sat on the floor, looking at some papers that she had gotten
from Math class. She hated math, and it showed on her face as she
worked out each problem.
I stared out of her bedroom window, waiting for her to finally
finish so that I could bother her; she was taking forever…
As the sun sank lower behind the trees and beneath the window
pane, I secretly observed Cat's reflection in the glass. She
swept wisps of straight, blonde hair behind her delicate ear;
then becoming frustrated, she shook her head and scribbled
angrily across her crumpled sheet of paper.
"Cat, why don't you just quit and start again tomorrow?"
"Because I don't wanna be bothered with it tomorrow," Cat
"You're so stubborn," I mumbled at her reflection.
"Damn right I am," she responded.
I moved down to the edge of the bed, and gazed down upon her. She
scratched the top of her head and scrawled her final few answers
on the paper.
"Are you done yet?"
"Yes, thank goodness," she said, laying out on the floor.
I glared down at her, and for the first time in a long time I was
afraid of myself. I wanted to lie down on the carpet beside
her--or on top of her even--and suck the living breath out of her
"What?" Cat yelped suddenly.
She startled me. I had been staring and didn't realize it.
"Cat…" I whispered, pouting pitifully in her direction.
She rolled over onto her stomach and began to crawl over to me.
"Whaaaat?" she teased, kneeling at the side of the bed.
"I just…" I stuttered--feeling deeply embarrassed within.
"You just what?"
I squinted my eyes and twiddled my thumbs. "Could I kiss you
Cat blushed and pulled her taut, upper lip down to meet her plump
bottom one to form a straight line across her pallid face. The
last few beams of dying sunlight painted Cat's face--as well as
the walls of her room--a deep, orange-gold.
She looked up at me with eyes-open-wide, and slowly stood up
beside the bed.
"Go ahead," she said, sitting down next to me.
I managed to release a trembling sigh, then slowly leaned towards
Cat. Her pale-green eyes danced around in the dying sunlight. The
closer I came to her lips, the deeper I needed to breathe. I was
quickly becoming faint--dizzy; but I wasn't discouraged.
Cat moved a little closer, but she didn't act. She waited for me
to make the first move. I pressed my trembling lips softly into
hers, then quickly pulled away… I opened my eyes briefly to read
her expression, but she didn't have one. She sat perfectly still
with her eyes closed.
But, she was breathing harder than what she had been breathing at
first--I think… I don't know. Maybe I should explore? Just what
else would she allow me to do?
I kissed her again, emboldened by my curiosity, and she slowly
reclined--until her back lay flatly on the bed; her eyes were
still closed and her chest rose and fell rapidly. Oh my God, what
am I doing?
I moved down further to kiss her neck--and, I lingered there, for
I had always admired it. It was lean and supple--soft though very
tense. Oh, I tried my damnedest to kiss the tension out of Cat's
Tenderly, I pressed my lips between her neck and shoulder, then
gradually pressed harder. And, that's when she frightened me. Cat
released a suppressed moan through her closed teeth.
I paused for a second, shocked and scarcely realizing what it was
that I had actually been doing for the past five minutes. She ran
her fingers through my hair and slowly pulled my head back down
towards her shoulder, gently forcing my lips to touch her neck
I obeyed and felt another slow moan rising in her frail throat.
And then, she released it--a deep, hollow sigh, finely mingled
with a whine.
I couldn't do it anymore. I pulled away from her and sat upright
in the bed, breathing heavily and brushing my hair back behind
"What's wrong," Cat asked, leaning up on her elbows.
I took one deep breath, my lips trembling upon exhaling, and
looked away from Cat--feeling continuously ashamed of whatever it
was that I had just allowed myself to do to her.
"Jen," she sighed, sitting upright and hugging me, "it's okay,
She tried to encourage me, cupping my blushing face in her hands
and kissing my neck. I honestly wanted her to continue, but by
the same token, I wanted her to stop. Feeling wretched, I winced
and pulled away.
"I can't," I whispered.
She nodded and turned away.
It was dark by the time we got our vaulting hormones under
control. We laid down beside each other in her bed for hours. I
slightly curled into fetal position, and looked out of the window
at the dark outline of trees rustling in the tacit wind.
I could feel Cat's body lying next to mine, and I wanted her
close… but I wouldn't dare admit it. But soon, I felt her move
closely behind me. She put her arms around my waist, and she
brushed her lips against the nape of my neck. For some reason, I
could sleep now. And this sleep was the most peaceful one that
I'd had in ages, despite the turbulent emotions brewing within
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